It’s Saturday. I love Saturdays. . . who doesn’t?
I had just woken up with a loud bang on my head like the sound
coming out of a pendulum hitting the walls of a bell. I didn’t have
the best night but I never had the worst. All through the night,
my mind was clouded with thoughts I couldn’t place. That seemingly
minute experience I had with Sola really spoilt my mood. My memory
was refreshed and it was as if I was digging my hands into my
brain to remember so many hurtful things that had taken place in
my life.
“Hey, how are you feeling now?” Amaka said handling me a hot cup
of coffee.
“I’m good girlfriend; just a little bit depressed.”
“Sorry ehn. Is there anything else you would like me to get you?”
This girl and her over-pampering abilities, chai! “Anyways Amaka, I
am fine o!” I replied her.
“Well, if you say so.” She said leaving for the bathroom.
I was surprised she let the matter slide without probing any
further. That is very unlike Amaka. I took a sip from the coffee;
Amaka does make good coffee, even if she no sabi any other thing
related to the kitchen.
I was really tired and wanted to sleep again
but Harrysong’s “Reggae Blues” blasting from somewhere in the room
diverted my attention; it was definitely coming from my phone.
That’s my favourite naija hit for now and now my ringtone, no time!
I could hear Amaka’s cocky voice humming to it. . . E sure me say
if that girl release a track, na only me go download am just for love
sake not to talk of an album.
“Where the hell is the phone sef?”
“Under the bed.” Amaka screamed from the bathroom.
“And who dropped it there?”
“And is that a question for me to answer?” Well then, you might
want to ask your humble self rolling over the bed like a possessed
being. . . An obvious indication that you are indeed fine.
“Na you sabi o! Aproko.”
“I don turn aproko now abi. No wahala na. Make I get out of this
bathroom.” She replied.
“Amaka, I no get your time this morning o, I no even sabi wetin
you dey wash since morning.”
I finally found the phone under the bed and guess who had been
calling since yesterday, leaving me tons of apologetic texts; it was
Sola!
“For God’s sake, do I need to vomit ‘I am not Angry’ into this guy’s
ears before he understands that I am not angry? Abi what? It’s
enough he had to make me feel terrible about myself and a lot of
sinking deep into the past being done, but seriously, Sola, gimme a
break!”
“Wow! Guess he really needs to hear the last part cos ain’t no Sola
here” Amaka said with her micro-mini towel wrapped around her
body.
“Walahi Amaka, I’d kill you this morning.” I said, pouting my face
into her face.
“And I’d gladly die for your sake. . . Gosh! for crying out loud, just
admit you pissed, it’s okay to be mad; it’s okay to confess you not
feeling fine. Sola or whatever him papa and mama name him is a cow
and I’m sure he’s somewhere pretending he’s sorry for what he did
yet he’s having fun while you are here reading those texts of his
that are not one inch close to apology. You are my person, and no
guy tries shit with my person.”
“You’ve been watching too much Grey’s Anatomy obviously. . .”
“Shey na wetin you go talk be that? Your good heart go kill you one
day. Whether you like it or not, at a point in life, you’ve just gat to
offend some people o and make enemies if need be so far it’s for
your good. Stop playing cool all the time. . . Get fired up! Address
the f**king attitude and give your anger an expression!
“Point well taken Prof. Amaka.” I said, goggling my eyelashes like
someone with a peg in her eye.
“. . . And you are welcome dull apprentice!” she ran off.
“You for wait na. I’d have shown you some dullness.”
“And you need to dress up girl, we are going out!” Amaka said,
shouting at the top of her voice from the room.
“And where the hell would I be following you to? Mtcheeew! I’d be
damned if I dress up!”
“You should be!” she said locking up the room door.
“Amaka, open this door now o!” I said with my fist banging the
door.
Stupid girl! She already heard my footsteps! Sometimes I wonder
what my life would have been without her. . . Less-stressful I guess!
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
“I’d like Champagne”
“And you ma?” the bartender asked facing Amaka
“I’d like a bottle of Smirnoff and some well prepared cowskin. . .
Emphasis on well-prepared o!” she said trying to scare the waiter.
Amaka is an ass! See the way she was ‘stronging’ her face like
someone who dey beg shit to come out of her yansh. As if she had
ate a bad ‘ponmo’ at the restaurant before! Kai! She can spoil
business.
“Why na, what I do? Why are you looking at me like that? I was
just being real, hello o!”
“I don hear you o!” I responded.
“Unlike you, ordering for a champagne when you should knack better
alcohol to wash away that thing wey dey bug your mind; they form
well-mannered girl for there!”
“Na you sabi. I actually thought you were going to Sola’s house to
go do something crazy.”
“Well, I will. Maybe not today. I’d deal with him tomorrow.”
The bartender brought our order and while I was just glancing
around, my eyes caught Sola and Jide with a plus one which should
either belong to one of them. They were sitting and chatting at a
corner. I never knew he was Jide then.
“Maybe you really don’t have to wait till tomorrow.” I murmured.
“What?”
“We have company over there.” I said, shooting my eyes in the
direction of Sola with Amaka’s eyes tailing the direction.
“Well then, are you ready to be a bitch?”
“After you Prof.!” I said feeling some deep guts down my throat.
We both laughed, stood up from our seats, abandoning our order
which was as good as not touched. With Amaka at the front, I
followed her. Dada no fit fight but e get person wey chop liver pass
am.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
“Hi!” Sola said with his heart definitely beating beyond normal.
His ‘hi’ was full of guilt; an ‘hi’ trying to contain a disease that may
soon turn an epidemic.
“Hello, I am Ayobami. Sola’s girlfriend and you guys are?”
“. . . his victims dumbass!” Amaka screamed.
Now seriously, Amaka is being really bitchy. Shoo! Wetin the
girlfriend do na and seriously, you’d know an insecure girlfriend when
you see one! “Yai, Ayam Sola’s girlfriend” I murmured annoyingly”
stupid girl.
“Errm abeg, my time is precious! Who among you is Sola? I take it
that you are the one.” Amaka said facing Sola. It was written all
over his face that he was uncomfortable and unstable. Guilt is a
bastard!
“Do you know that you are a fool and an irresponsible man and a
beast!”
Now the conjuncts are getting too much! An indication that Amaka
don dey take am personal.
“How could you molest someone who shared an open mind with you?
You molested my friend here and its highly unacceptable to me. The
fact that she won’t react doesn’t mean I won’t. Now you are here
treating yourself to a meal with a chick who thinks you are a great
and faithful guy.”
At this stage, the girlfriend opened her mouth speechlessly and Jide
likewise was just staring saying nothing. Sola on the other hand
definitely doesn’t have anything to say.
“You’ve got something to say to me or my girl?” Amaka asked.
“Oh! Nothing! You think you can go about sending stupid apologetic
messages and you think that’s all? This is a huge warning to you,
stay away from my friend, do I make myself clear?”
Sola went dumb!
“I guess that silence means yes!”
“Sola, what do you have to say. I really don’t understand. Are these
ladies saying the truth?”
Now, the girlfriend is getting emotional. An indication of high
disappointment maybe not for what he did to me but the
unfaithfulness. She grabbed her bag and cried out running off slowly
in her 3 inches heels.
“Ayo please wait!” Sola screamed!
Now the unexpected happened! Jide hit Sola on the jaw and he
landed on his ass. . . I thought they were supposed to be friends.
“I am disappointed in you!” Jide screamed.
“Ouch!” Amaka said definitely with a smile! Stupid girl. She was
having fun and we were creating a scene in someone’s business
arena and the bartender was walking towards our corner.
“Hi, I am Amaka Coker” stretching forth her hand to Jide.
“I’m sorry. I am Jide Jones”
“My kind of man! I love me some Jack Bauer” Amaka said winking
at me with Jide smiling back.
“What’s going on here please! You distracting our customers and
making a mess of our restaurant.” The bartender said.
“We are so sorry man! A stipend for your trouble.” Amaka said,
dipping some notes in the guy’s pocket while she walked away with
Jide at the front and I followed afterwards.
“Fuck you Sola!” I said bending down to him with his ass on the
ground.
“And these two just stole my show!” I murmured running after
Amaka and Jide.
And then, I fell in love with him just like that!
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