BE MY USHER 2!!!

As I read the usher’s response at the back of the card
again and again, I knew there was something wrong
with her response and not with what I wrote.
Something was definitely wrong with the response no
matter how you want to look at it. I Insisted that I
will not allow a lady’s comment kill my spirit which I had
succeeded in reviving after some months of self-imposed
ban on relationships and relationships related discussions.
I needed that time off to rediscover my strength, my
weaknesses and to generally refocus. It worked like
wonder. I had no commitments, emotions were almost at
a hiatus and my eyes became blinded to a lot of things.
Here I was after rekindling interests in women affairs
and hoping to get the best that I can possibly get, I
was being told to walk in the spirit not to fulfill the
lust of the flesh. I might be wrong but who goes to
the market with his eyes closed? I wondered why the
beautiful usher would settle for that choice of words.
She was wrong, Itried to convince myself for the
umpteenth time. Then again, you may not totally know
what people are thinking at any given time. Something
must have informed that choice of word, I said to
myself as I tried to create some room for the benefit
of doubts. What I did was just an expression of my
desire to see a lady after service; I hadn’t said more
than that. What better way can one possibly convey
one’s expression of interest? Or since it was a church
environment, should I have written it in a different
language? Maybe I should have written it in King
James Version? Maybe like this, ”tell me, O thou lady
whom my eyes seeth and liketh; my soul desireth to see
thee after service. What thinkest thou?’’ Is that how
I should have expressed it to show that I wasn’t driven
by the lust of the flesh that I was fully in the spirit??
The more I look at the texts on the card and scrutinize
those words, the angrier I got. I was almost going to
react to her in like manner; call off the interest and
continue my search elsewhere, after all, they say there
are plenty fishes in the ocean. However, on a second
thought, I decided against calling it off, instead, I made
up my mind I was going to meet the beautiful Usher in
person and then see what would come out of it. I love
the way my heart tends to beat whenever I found
myself in conditions like this. There’s usually this positive
rush of adrenaline which has a way of  activating my
creative juices. You needed to see how much I waited
for the following Sunday,  a day I was almost certain I
would see her again in church.
The following Sunday, I arrived for service way ahead
of time. I knew if she would be in church, she would
equally come on time for their usual prep before services
commenced. Ushers are not allowed to come for Sunday
services late. It is a no no. As I walked through the
church gate, I saw the beautiful usher from afar
discussing with some of her colleagues. I quickly made a
mental calculation of how to take her away from the
mini group without incurring her wrath or setting
myself up for some ridicule. With ladies of how type,
anything is impossible including high powered snub or cold
shoulder. I had an idea of what to do or how to go
about it; all I needed to do is just to put my best foot
forward. I wasn’t badly dressed and my haircut was on
point as well. As for looks, I have got some advantages
too. My spoken English isn’t bad either. Yeah, you got it,
that was me trying to tick all the boxes in my head
before making that all important move. My first
impression needed to be top notch. I needed that killer
impression if I could borrow some slang from Falz, the
fast rising comedian and musician. I walked up to the
group of ushers discussing and exchanging loud banters
and motioned at the usher I had interest in. She pointed
at herself and asked, ‘’me?!’’ I nodded in affirmation. I
was almost going to say ”before nko?!” She excused
herself from the group and walked up to me. While she
was still trying to wriggle herself from the group, I had
taken two or three steps backwards just to make sure
we were not within hearing distance. ”Good morning, I
know you won’t recognize me?’’ ”I actually don’t,’’ she
replied swiftly. I reached deep down within me, looking
for the best possible way to introduce myself and to
shatter the ice. ”My name is walk in the spirit and you
will not fulfill the lust of the flesh,’’ I said. I didn’t
smile while I recited that long name.  I had my eyes
fixed on her eyes looking for what emotion she would
betray. ‘’Oh, is that you? She asked in a rather
mellowed voice. ”Yes!” I answered in an equally mellowed
voice. She was more receptive this time around; I could
see the willingness in her eyes to engage me in further
discussion.What could have changed between last Sunday
and now? Well, wetin conern me, babe dey respond
well and I had to yarn well. I made sure she did not
have an upper hand as the discussion progressed. Like I
mentioned earlier, I reached down into me to draw some
words that can only come from within. Not those cheap
half felt words scattered all over the internet. No, I
wasn’t ‘toasting’ her on the spot. Ah ah, why should I?
That would have been serious jumping of the gun or
putting the cart before the horse. I had to let her
know the first time I saw her and at what point I
made up my mind to talk to her.
Surprise! Surprise! The usher apologized to me for her
choice of words, explaining that they usually get a lot of
notes from guys almost every Sunday. She also confessed
they had to devise ways to turn down those advances
especially the ones they were not interested in. Before
I left her, we had agreed to meet again after the
day’s service to continue from where we stopped. I
walked into the church excited and worshiped God in
spirit and in truth without looking left or right for what
I have not lost. I don’t know if it was me or the
excitement, well, head or tail, the service that morning
seemed unusually long but I enjoyed every bit it. I
looked forward to meeting the beautiful Usher
immediately after service. At the end of the service,
my hope of meeting with this beautiful Usher was
dashed. She walked up to me to say she would not be
seeing me that afternoon. According to her, she was
supposed to be in a meeting of Ushers that afternoon
after service. I asked if we could meet the following
Sunday instead. She refused to make any commitment
insisting we leave our options open. I accepted her
proposal and then pressed for her number. She smiled,
stood for some minutes and stared hard at her phone as
if something would happen to it if she gave me her
number. At the end. we exchanged numbers and for the
first time, she mentioned her name to me. With some
finesse, the usher said her name is Christabel. I told
her my name too. We parted ways immediately after
the exchange of names and number. I watched
Christabel until she was out of sight. This particular
Sunday was better than the previous one; you see, I
wouldn’t have gone this far if I had reacted negatively
to her initial resistance.
I didn’t call Christabel until Thursday night; that was
when it felt right to call her. She did not pick the first
call, well, I wasn’t expecting her to pick either. Women
must be women when it comes to matters like this or
how do you want them to remind you that you are the
one doing the chasing. She picked my third and what
would have been my final attempt at calling her at least
for that day. We moved from the usual rituals, the
”how was your day”, the ”what are you doing right
now” and those kind of questions when you are trying
to establish a proper background. We ended the call on a
high note; we agreed to meet again the following
Sunday. She reassured as long as it is within her
control, she would definitely attend the meeting.
We met the following Sunday as planned. The meeting
was an eye opener; honestly I loved every minute we
spent at our meeting place. We chatted about almost
anything you can think of except the very mundane
things. Of course! I was able to extract from her some
crucial personal details, the type that would make you
throw your hat into the ring and fight until the lady is
yours. There was no need to beat about the bush, I
opened up to her and told her my grand plan for us.
Yes, for us. I wouldn’t say she was excited and I
wouldn’t say was not excited, she looked a bit undecided.
At the end, she would not commit to anything. She
causally requested us to wait and see how things unfold.
I did not bother to press her more than I had already
done that afternoon. I was willing to see how things
would turn out too.
It has been more than seven months since our first
meeting and since we committed to seeing how things
would turn out and the status quo has not changed.
Both of us are still observers waiting to see how
things would go or turn out. Funny enough, she’s not
willing to let go and she’s also not willing to come inside.
Which kain observation be this one biko nu? Will
she ever be mine? I guess time will tell. Let’s keep
observing to see how things would eventually turn out!
All I can say is that we are two cute observers. LOL!