FORBIDDEN LOVE 3

After I was done with what I was doing, I decided to open the message that I received earlier. I took my phone and cuddled up in
bed before finally opening the message. I hissed when I saw this because it was just one of those mtn messages. I didn’t know why I reacted that way because I wasn’t even expecting a message. I was about to open the snake game on my phone when another message came in. I opened the message and behold it wasn’t from mtn again, it was from a number that I hadn’t seen before so I decided to read it first. It was my senior, I mean my new school father who was just asking how about my well being. He did seem like a pretty nice senior. I smiled and replied his message
before saving his number as senior daniel. I decided to take a nap before reading so that I could feel refreshed. My day was a really
long one. I decided to take a nap before reading…..

A few hours later, I woke up a few minutes before eight o’clock. I still felt like sleeping, but I knew I had to read because tomorrow
was my first paper in secondary school. My sister was already done with her exams. She was just in primary four so they always
finished exams and school early. Older cousins already told me about secondary school and how I needed to read very well for my exams because it was not the same as primary school even though I used to come out as top of my class. I read until it was twelve o’clock and went to bed because I had to wake up early for school.
A week later, I was done with my exams, I was so happy that finally I could watch my favourite shows that I couldn’t watch
during exams. When I got home, I went to take a shower, change into comfortable clothes and went into the sitting room immediately before Frank called me to come take my food. I carried my food and
went to sit down on the couch closest to the television. Thank goodness my sister wasn’t there, we would have had to wrestle for
the remote control and couch. While eating and watching my show, my phone rang. When I saw the caller id, I was happy because it was from uncle Sam so I picked it up without hesitation.

My princess, how are you?”
he said. I told him I was fine and that I just concluded my exams. He did sound happy for me or maybe for himself. He told he hadn’t called me since because he didn’t want to disturb me and my exams.
I smiled and sighed because I just saw him as a nice man. Even though I had a father who cared about me, I felt more
comfortable and happier around uncle Sam. Not just because, he bought us gifts and all but because he was always there for us. I could see the love he had for us but I still couldn’t understand why he wasn’t ready to settle down. Before he ended the call, he told me, he was coming to pick me up tomorrow for our outing and so I
should get ready before it was 12:00pm. I told him I needed to ask my parents for permission, but he said he already asked them for me and they were fine with it and so I agreed. “Goodnight, I love you”, he said.
I replied with “Goodnight,” but he called my name with a little anger in his
tone. “Yes?” I answered with confusion.
“You don’t like saying you love me too when I say I love you or don’t you love me?”
When he said this, I laughed because I never expected him to say something like that and so I apologized and innocently told him I loved him too before he ended the call with a sigh.

The next day, when I woke up, I did my little house chores before going to take a shower. After that, I went to look for a nice cloth to wear. I brought out a purple blouse that uncle Sam had gotten for me and one of my black jeans. After dressing up, I combed my relaxed hair and decided to leave it down. When I was done, I went
to the sitting room to wait for him. My sister was already feeling so sad that I was being taken out without her so I tried to console
her and told her that it would be her turn next time since uncle Sam said so. I gave her my phone to play games to make her feel a little better but not long after, it rang and so I collected it from her and picked the call. It was uncle Sam, he said he would be at the house in five minutes and exactly five minutes later, he was at the door. My sister quickly ran to hug him when she heard his voice. She started acting really sad around him and uncle Sam immediately guessed what was wrong so he promised her that it would be her turn next time and he would take just her out, he even promised to
buy her something when we go out. Her lips began to curve into a smile and soon enough we all departed in happiness. Uncle Sam was just a natural. He was good at everything, I just couldn’t believe he
could be so perfect in everything. We got into the car and drove off.

On our way, he asked where I wanted to go first and I told him anywhere he was willing to take me as I did not have anywhere in mind yet so he said we would go have lunch first and maybe I’ll be
alive by then. I laughed when he said so because I was actually hungry. I didn’t have breakfast in the morning because I knew
uncle Sam would spoil me with food and snacks when we go out. After about one hour of driving and sleeping in traffic, we finally got to sweet sensation, one of my favourite restaurants. He parked
and we both hopped out of the car. When we got into the restaurant, we went straight to order food at the counter. I ordered my usual rice and roasted chicken with plantain and he ordered grilled fish with rice and moi-moi. A meal he enjoyed
whenever we ordered food there. We took our tray of food and went to look for a seat. We found one at the far end of the restaurant, just in a corner and so went to sit there. He smiled when we sat and I smiled back at him in confusion.
“I’m glad I’m here alone with you,” he
finally said. I just smiled at him, feeling so shy. He even complimented me and called me his beautiful angel. My shyness at that moment knew no bounds, but I felt happy and different about the compliment. The way he complimented me left me feeling like a woman, like I was loved and
I was at peace. We were having our lunch and talking when my phone that was just right beside my tray rang. I looked at the
caller id and realized it was senior Daniel. Looking back up, I noticed uncle Sam squeezing his face but I wanted to pick the call.

To be continued………..

FORBIDDEN LOVE 2

The next day, when I woke up, I got down from my bed, went on
my knees and said my morning prayers. You already guessed what I
did next, I reached out for my phone from under my pillow, but I
couldn’t find it. I rolled my eyes…..
I rolled my eyes…..
knowing that my sister probably took it since she already told me she
would always use my phone to play games. “Esther!!! Esther!!!” I
yelled out my sister’s name as I went into the sitting room to look
for her. I didn’t know my mum was sitting down on one of the
couches so I continued yelling. “so you cannot greet abi”, my mum
said. “oh! mummy, sorry. I didn’t know you were here. Good
morning!” I greeted. “Ehen, morning! why are you looking for Esther
like this” she replied. “I don’t know if she took my phone”,
“E biago ozo!(meaning: you have come again in Igbo language) If you
guys like, don’t get ready for church. I and your father will leave
without you guys and you’ll have to trek, so if you like, get ready,
if you don’t like, don’t get ready” My mum said and exited the room.
I left the sitting room as well and headed for the kitchen. That
was when I found Esther using my phone with Frank. I quickly
went to them and grabbed it from her hand. They both growled,
but I scolded Esther for not asking me for permission before taking
it. “Na because say you don get phone now, that’s why pesin no go
hear word”Frank said. I looked at him with an angry look and left
the kitchen as Esther followed behind.

 We went to our room to prepare for Church and not long after, we were ready. We could hear the horn of our dad’s car signaling for us to come outside so
we could go to Church. I put my phone into my Church bag as I always called it and left the room with Esther. After Church, my parents had a meeting in Church both for men and women as usual and so we hung out with our friends while we waited for them. I was talking to one of my friends when I heard my phone ring. I checked the caller ID and realized it was my uncle calling so I excused myself. All my friends were already jumping upband screaming excitedly when they saw my new phone because they taught I wouldn’t be getting a phone anytime soon. “Hello?”, I said as I picked the call. “My baby, how are you?” uncle Sam said. “I’m fine” I replied. “This one you’re sounding so cold, what is wrong with you?” he asked but I told him I was fine, I just needed rest and so he got relaxed. He said he just wanted to hear my voice since I didn’t reply his message yesterday night so he told me to end the call so we could text each other instead. I ended the call and a minute later, I got a message from uncle Sam and we started chatting, but I went back to meet my friends while we were
chatting.

Meanwhile, my friends were still hailing me and I felt my cheeks turn red with excitement and embarrassment. A few
minutes later, my mum and dad were through with their meeting so
we all left for the house. When we got home, I went straight to
the room, took off my Sunday wear and switched into more
comfortable clothes. Immediately, I took out my phone from my bag
and continued chatting with uncle Sam. We were chatting about
random things until he texted “Meso, I want to ask you something
and please be sincere with me oo” I looked at the text confused
because I couldn’t guess what he was going to ask me. “Do you
have a boyfriend?” The next text read. I opened my mouth when I
saw this because it never even crossed my mind and It was weird
that my uncle had to be the first to ask. I replied with a “no!!!
uncle Sam, I’m still a small girl now” but he just replied with
“hmmn, small girl ke. Do you know how many of your mates that
already have boyfriends or are even married. You’re talking about
small. You’re not a small girl oo”, “But my parents still say I’m small,
and if my mummy should even find out I have a boyfriend, she’ll
bury me alive” “hahahaha, meso you’re so funny. I’ll tell your mum”
“Ahh uncle sam, please oo. I’m just joking oo” “I know, I wasn’t
going to tell anyway. That reminds me, I want to take you out”, he
finally said. “Oh!! but we are yet to have our first term exams so
mummy and daddy will not want us going out”, I replied.
“who is we?” he asked. “Esther and I now” “No I don’t mean the
both of you, I want to take just you out”. “But why would you
want to take just me out?”, I asked. “Because it’s your turn this
time, next time it will be only Esther but that will be after your
exams since you’ll be having your exams now” I agreed and so he
said we’ll talk later. I smiled at my phone and was just so excited
that I was now taken as a big girl. In a month’s time, I would be
turning twelve and I couldn’t wait.

Two weeks later….
I was sitting all alone in a class, waiting for one of my friends to
be done with her extra lessons when Micheal, one of my class
mates came in. “hey meso!!” he called out. “hey mike”, I replied.
“senior Daniel is calling you” Micheal said. I couldn’t figure out why
he was calling me. Senior Daniel was one of the ss2 boys who
people said was wicked. I was very scared of talking to seniors
because I didn’t want to be punished for any little thing. So I
summoned up courage and went to the ss2 floor, looking through the
classes hoping to see senior Daniel who called me. Before I got to
the last class, he came out from the class and smiled at me when he
saw me. I smiled back, not knowing the reason for it. Immediately,
he told me to follow him and I followed behind. We got to a bench
not too far from the tuck shop, where they sold snacks and food,
he sat down on the bench, gesturing me to sit beside him and so I
did. He started off by asking If I was scared and I told him I was
scared a little, but he just told me to relax, that he meant no harm
and so I became at ease. Senior Daniel just told me he wanted to
take care of me as my school father, he told me he was ready to
help me with anything and since I would be starting with my first
term exam as a jss1 student, I shouldn’t hesitate to meet him if I
needed any help. I just couldn’t understand where all this came
from because I had never even spoken to him. I nodded because I
knew it was normal for a senior boy or girl to make you their school
daughter or son. Before we left, he asked If I had a phone so he
could always call to make sure I was okay and so I said yes and
gave him my number. We left the scene and I went to check if my
friend was done with her lesson. I was a bit excited because I now
had a school father. Some of my friends were already posing with
their school fathers and trying to make every other person Jealous.
When I got home, it was a few minutes past 4:00pm and so I
went into my room to take off my uniform, Esther was already
sleeping as usual. Before I could even take my clothes off, I got a
message. I didn’t want to open it just yet because I needed to do
some things so I dropped the phone aside and left to do what I had
to do.
To be continued….

FORBIDDEN LOVE!!!

“Welcome uncle Sam!!!!” I screamed as I hugged him after opening dthe door. “How are you, my dear?”, he had replied. Uncle sam was one of my favourite uncles. He would bring a lot of gifts for me and
my sister whenever he came for visits. He would take us out and spend time with us. Some people even started calling him our second father because of the relationship he had with us. He was my father’s only brother. He wasn’t married even though he was about twenty-six years old, but he lived a comfortable lifestyle alone in a very fine bungalow. On the other hand, I lived with my parents, my sister, Esther and the house help, Francis who we usually called
Frank.

‘Where is your sister?” Uncle Sam asked. “She is sleeping”, I replied. S“And your parents?”, he asked further. “They’re out”, I replied again. “And Where is Frank?”, “Uncle Sam, it seems like you missed
everyone oo, this one you’re asking about them like this?” I replied. “Eh! Yes! yes, I did. So where is Frank?”, He kept asking so I told him he went out with my parents. Immediately I said so, he smiled. “So we are the only ones around?”, He said. “Yes and Esther”. He moved from behind the couch where he had been standing and sat
on the couch. “Meso!!!” He called my nickname just as everyone did. “Yes, uncle Sam”. “I’ve told you to be calling me Sam, not uncle Sam, you know I’m not as old as your Father”, he said as he winked at me. “But uncle Sam, you know mama will slap me when she hears me say your name without adding the uncle before it”, I argued. “Oya, call me by my name only when we are alone”, he said and I
nodded in response. I asked him what he had brought for us this time. He simply gestured his hands for me to sit beside him. I skipped happily as I sat down close to him. He gave me the fancy looking bag that he had been holding and I collected it immediately, excited to see what was inside. I removed the first item my hand was able to grasp. It was a nice looking blouse, I smiled when I saw it, but
he said it was for my sister so I reached into the bag to grab something else.

This time, I grabbed a blouse again, this one even fancier than the first. He said it was for my sister again. Thishappened for two more rounds until I spoke up. “Uncle Sam, this bag is already getting slimmer oo”, I squeezed my face, but he insisted that I keep checking so I reached for another Item and this time, It didn’t feel the same as the other w items I had reached for. Some parts of this item had soft spots while the other parts had a harder spot. I squeezed my face as I brought out the item. Behold it was a bra. I looked puzzled when I saw this, but uncle Sam just smiled at me and said, “They told me that you are now a big girl so I just decided to buy this one since that is what big girls wear”. Indeed, my adolescence stage was running ahead of me as I
had started growing breasts and seeing my monthly flow just at the age of eleven, but I was just surprised that my uncle would get
bras and panties for me. I was happy that I could add to my collection from the ones my mum got for me, but I felt very
embarrassed because even my father had never had to buy girly things like this for me. My mother was always the one who took zcare of the female issues. I slowly muttered a  ‘thank you’ before
he said “So, go and try them, let me see”. I looked at him in confusion and said.

 ‘Ahh, Sam I can’t wear these ones in front of you oo”. He just laughed and said that I shouldn’t be shy because he even remembers carrying me naked in his arms when I was a baby. I only used my hands to hide my face from embarrassment but I
didn’t try them on. While I was about to leave with the gifts he got for us, he held my hands and pulled me back. “There is one last thing you haven’t opened”, he said as he handed me another fancy alooking bag, but this one was way smaller. I smiled and collected it with excitement as I dug in to find out what it was. My eyes almost fell out when I saw it was a brand new phone still in its  pack and a sim card. I screamed and screamed with excitement as he laughed at my joy. I always wanted a phone but my parents always told me I was still too young to be using one. Even though I told them that my classmates already had phones they still insisted that I wait until I was a bit older. “Uncle Sam, thank you! thank
you!”, I blurted out as I hugged him but he squeezed his face instead of smiling with me. “Uncle Sam, did I say something wrong”, I asked but he squeezed his face even more before he opened up.

“Haven’t I told you to stop calling me Uncle Sam? Call me Sam or don’t talk to me again oo”, he squeezed his face, giving me the baby attitude. I nodded in agreement and said I was sorry before he smiled at me.
The bell rang and I dashed out to see who was at the door, my parents and Frank had returned from her outing. “Daddy good
evening, mummy good evening!” I said as I opened the door for them to come in. “Ehen, my dear. How are you? Where is Esther?” my mum asked. “Mummy, I’m fine and Esther is sleeping. Uncle Sam
is around and you will not believe what he bought for us” I replied. They all smiled when I said so. I helped them with the things they bought and placed them on the kitchen counter as most of the items were kitchen tools and food items. As we entered the sitting room, I quickly ran to show them my new phone with excitement but they were busy greeting each other until my mum spoke out,

“Meso, this your phone is fine, it is even finer than my own but wait oo, you know you can’t start using a phone now right”. I
whined and squeezed my face, trying to protest before uncle Sam cut in. “Ahh aunty, leave Meso alone oo, she is now a big girl, many of her mates are now using phones sef”. I looked at my dad and gave him the signal to help me plead before he nodded in agreement that I should be allowed to have a phone. I was so excited that I ran to my room with the gifts uncle Sam got for me and my sister without even showing them the other things he got for us. By the time I got into my room where I share with my sister, she was already awake. My sister who was four years younger than me liked to have the same thing I had so I knew she would go ask for hers when I show her my new phone. Like I imagined, she jumped up happily when I told her uncle Sam was around but ran out to ask for her own phone when I showed her mine. Uncle Sam simply told her that she would get hers when she becomes my age. I felt really happy because I started seeing myself as a big girl.

After a few hours, around past nine in the night, uncle Sam came to our room to
say goodnight. He came and sat on our bed before he started speaking to us. He told us that we should always call him whenever
we wanted something or needed help and that since I now had a phone, I shouldn’t hesitate to contact him everyday. He hugged us, kissed our foreheads and said he loved us before going out through the door.
That night, I set up my phone and left it to charge for a while before taking it with me to my bed. My sister had already killed my
ears with “I’ll be playing games on your phone now”. I smiled at my Nokia 3310 and closed my eyes to go to sleep before a message came in. And it read:
“My princess, I hope you like this new gift I got for you. Like I said before, don’t hesitate to contact me when you need anything
okay? And dial this code on your phone so that you can be credited with five hundred naira. *222*12347781736282# Goodnight. I
love you”.
I smiled at my phone before falling asleep…

To be continued………

WHY YOU MUST DECIDE FAST!!!

Decision is the key to transformation. Yet, most of us never learn this from our parents, from school, or indeed from anywhere else. It is one of the key character traits distinguishing high performers from the vast ranks of the mediocre. Can you DECIDE upon anything? If you can,
almost anything you want in life can be yours. If you think back in your life to some of your greatest achievements, those things you are most proud of, you will see that behind it all there was a decision you made at some point, and persisted with against all
opposition, right through to the successful conclusion.

Indecision explains why many people feel that they have a life purpose, but have no idea what it is. We have lost the use of the decision muscles that should normally enable us to manifest into our reality what
we decide upon, and persistently hold in our minds. Ask a child what it wants to have and you'll get a long list. Ask an adult the same question and you may well be greeted with silence. The problem is that all too often that people hunger for instant
gratification. The ability to engage in delayed gratification, i.e. working hard for a goal NOW in order to see it realized at some point in the future, seems to be a dying art. Hence our ability to make decisions and
see them through to a fruitful end has grown very weak.

 For many people, the biggest decisions they ever make in a year is where to go on
vacation, how to get there, and where to stay! Sad but true. Decision is, by definition, behind every truly great achievement anyone ever makes. Most of the people who live to be a hundred actually DECIDED at some point in their life that they wished to live to a hundred. Most millionaires, at some earlier point in their life (often when
they were heavily in debt), DECIDED that they were going to be millionaires.

Interestingly, the most successful people make decisions quickly and change them slowly. They persist with the decisions they have made. However, failures are very slow to make any decision at all (most never
make any), and they change the ones they have made very rapidly indeed. Which description applies to you?.... It's not about making the "right" decision in the first place, but rather about making the decision you have made "right". If you wait to make
the "right" decision, you could wait forever. If you make your decisions "right", this means that you work with the decisions you have made, adapting them as necessary to the situation at hand.

Yes, of course it helps to make the best decision possible in the first place. This is where excellent research and accurate thinking come into play. You should do your best in this respect. However, you also need to set some sort of deadline or limit to this to be prevented from engaging in "paralysis through analysis". At some point, you have to DO. Thereafter, you adapt your thinking to actual circumstances, in order to ultimately bring about what you have decided upon.

For instance, you may decide to live to be a hundred. However, you then work with the existing health systems available to reach that goal, adapting and choosing what is available to your personal needs. You may
decide to earn a certain sum of money, e.g. a million dollars. From then on, you adapt your thinking to the many means available.
You don't give up on the decision itself, although you may give up on a specific means of achieving it, and instead move towards another. Flexibility in the means of obtaining the outcome of your decision is okay. Flexibility in dumping your decisions the whole time is NOT.

The Latin root of the word decision means "to cut off from all alternatives". This is what you should do when you decide.
Decide, and then act as if you could not fail. Interestingly, this attitude of mind attracts to you forces from the universe that are fully capable of supporting you and bringing your decision into manifestation. If you ask a lot from life, you will receive a lot. If you ask a little, that is what you will get. Interestingly, the universe has no favorites and does not care either way how much or how little you ask for. As and you
shall receive, is the way it was once expressed.

The key is to KNOW what you want, DECIDE to get it, and then PERSIST until you have done so.

Compliments of the season!!!
See you at the top!!!!

NO DEFINITION!!!

I decided to stop by Tolu’s place after work, This decision had taken 6weeks to make. Let me quickly put you in the know. Tolu and I had been friends since Uni. I met him as a fresher while he was already in his third year. On that faithful day, I noticed the bus driver didn’t collect the usual bus fair of 50 naira from me. When I inquired he told me that one of the guys at the
back had paid for me. I turned to thank the good samaritan but instead I saw 4 guys grinning sheepishly. I hissed and turned away. . . . . I got off the bus amidst calls of “hey hey” “excuse me”. I quickened my pace and disappeared amongst a huge gathering. I Finally got to my class and breathed a sigh of relief as I wasn’t being
followed. I thought to myselF how stupid those guys where if one of them thought he was going to “GET ME” with just 50 naira. I busied myself with lectures and soon forget the incident of that morning.

 Towards evening it occurred to me that my
phone hadn’t even rang all day. I reached for my bag to get it and it wasn’t there…. I instantly died a little inside, i search everywhere for it but cant find it. I even borrowed a neigbours phone to call it.
It rings but no one picks. . I resigned to fate that it must have been stolen and wearily pack my things and head for the bus stop. I
am almost getting on a bus when someone tapped me. When I turn, i recognized him to be one of thE giggling morons from the morninG. “WHAT AN OPPORTUNITY” to let out steam. I quickly transferred all
my aggression on him. I went as far as stuffing a 200 naira note into his pocket and asking him to keep the change. All these while he just stands there with a weird grin plastered on his face. When I was done he slips his hand into his pocket, hands me my phone and leaves. I had never been more embarrassed in my entire life. Like you
already guessed, it turned out that when I got down from the bus my phone fell off and the dude whom I found out his name to be Tolu picked it up and was calling me to come get it, he missed all his classes that day waiting to see if I would pass again to come look for it.

 To cut the long story short we became best friends. We were inseparable the only time we weren’t together were during classes. I
was a law student while he was an “engine boy” as engineering boys were called . The whole school thought We were dating where as we hadn’t even as much as kissed. We continued this way until he left
school a year later for his nysc. I still had 3yrs to go but tolu somehow found a way to come and see me as often as possible. I
“liked” Tolu a lot. He was my body guard, school father,big brother,best friend,confidant etc etc. The list was endless. My friends were green with envy. They always told me “your so lucky” and “he hasn’t even touched you”. I was always appalled by their questions. I mean why would Tolu touch me (rolling my eyes) we were not that kinda friends. In my final year I became the course rep and this was
greatly used to my advantage. I only had 5 courses per semester. I liased with my lectures and pushed my classes for Mondays and tuesdays. This gave me the rest of the week to travel and go flex
with him as he now had a demanding job and couldn’t visit like he always did. It was on one of such trips that “he touched me” and even though it was my first time, he made the movies I had seen and the novels I had read seem like child’s play.

I quickly added “boyfriend” to that list I made earlier and things continued to be rosy between us. We were now officially a couple I mean we were having sex weren’t we?. We made sure I was posted to Abj for my law school so we could be close. Then the shocker came, his company was sending him to china for 3yrs. I was heartbroken and cried uncontrollably the day he was
leaving. Tolu called me a crybaby and hugged me,he promised not to make me miss him and that he would keep in touch everyday. True to his words I didn’t really miss him cos I still felt his presence. We
talked everyday for the 3yrs. One day Tolu told me he was coming back to nigeria and we needed to talk… I was ecstatic I instantly knew he was going to propose to me. I couldn’t hide my joy. I went shopping and prepared for his coming. He came in on a tuesday night and calleD me. I was away on
official assignment but was due back the next day, we made dinner plans. When I came back I quickly made my hair, and of course nails. I didn’t want my fingers to look horrible when he would put the ring
on it. I took my time to dress that day. I didn’t wear mascara cos I didn’t want my eye make up to run in case I cried. I was certain I would cry when he gave me the ring.

 I arrived the venue 20minutes later than our scheduled time, but I didn’t mind, My Tolu was waiting patiently for me.. He looked casual in a T-shirt and jean. He
complimented my dressing and asked me if I had other plans after the dinner as I was so gorgeously dressed. I giggled nervously, Tolu always had a great sense of humor. He kept touching my face and complimented my hair. He said I had become even more beautiful and that any man will be lucky to have me, I held my breath. He came close to me I naturally assumed he was going to kiss me instead he pecked my forehead. I didn’t mind I just assumed he didn’t wanna smudge my lipstick. Dear friends I went to the rest rooms three times to ensure my looks where perfect. I wanted to look pretty in pictures as I was sure people around me would take pictures  when he got on his knees.. Tolu finally took my hand when I came back and I could tell he was looking at my fingers. He removed the cocktail ring
I was wearing and asked what size it was I told him. He said I ought to be wearing real diamonds instead of Crystal glasses. He put
his hands in his pocket and I start smiling sheepishly. Instead he brings out his handkerchief. I am still holding my breath. He now tells me how a certain friend of his wanted to propose to someone but didn’t know how and asked how best to do it… By now I was smiling sheepishly. I just told him to tell him to go ahead and do it that I
was sure no girl would refuse him. He asked if I was sure I said yes..

By this time I was close to tears and my eyes were closed. I expected to find Tolu on his knees when I opened it. After an uncomfortable silence. I opened them and he was still sitting starring at me with a grin on his face. He asked if I was sleeping. I said NO. He said anyways let’s go. He dropped me off and rejected the offer to stay over. As he had a long day tomorrow. I went to bed confused. I just assumed he didn’t buy the ring and he also wanted to be sure I
would agree. The next day I was preparing a Brief for a client when Tolu called he
was screaming happily I couldn’t hear him as there was loud music at the background.. I disconnected the call and sent him an sms asking him to “send me an sms”. His sms comes and reads. “She said yes”. I am confused and I reply “yes to what?” He replies ” I proposed and she said yes”. I wake up in the hospital the next day. I slip past the nurses and take a cab home. Tolu calls me all month long but I won’t
speak to him. He comes by my office and my house but the security won’t let him in. He is surprised as to why I Don’t wanna see him. He sends so many text messages. “The last of which reads “please talk to me you are my best friend”.

That night I sat in my empty house and thought. All these years I took Tolu to be bodyguard, my father,my confidant and my everything while I was just “his best friend”. When I added boyfriend to the list
he added “with benefits” to his own. When I got to his place I cried uncontrollably of course he had led me on. Tolu was quick to remind me that he didn’t lead me on he didn’t remember expressly telling me he wanted us to date. I was quick to
remind him that he was the one who popped my cherry and he was the only guy I have ever been with. He responded by telling me that if he had known he wouldn’t have done it… Tolu said that there was
“NO DEFINITION” to our friendship (he didn’t say relationship) and he thought I understood the position of things.
His wedding is next month. I took my annual leave 3 months earlier than normal. I haven’t left my house in 3weeks. MORAL OF THE STORY…. You tell me

Comment below!!!

WHY YOU ALWAYS FAIL!!!

Think of something in your life that you’ve wanted to accomplish but haven’t. Something deep down. Whether it’s because you haven’t gotten around to it, are too timid to go for it, or you took a shot and failed spectacularly. Conjure up in your mind that big failure of your life. Perhaps you’re in the middle of it now. It goes without saying, we all mess up big time.
That’s obvious. Of course, some of us are better at it than others, but that’s kind of obvious too.  So far,throughout my life, I’ve often been asked what the biggest cause of failure was that I’ve come across.
Some people have relationship problems, some have money problems, others have anxiety issues, etc. But the biggest problems I’ve seen in many of these people were not specific to relationships, money, confidence or whatever. It’s easy to figure out how
to ask someone out, or how to start a business, or how to just do something even when you’re afraid.

Dealing with your fear of abandonment, or your toxic money habits, or your screwed up beliefs about what others think about you? That’s a tad more involved. Chances are, a profound struggle in one area of
your life will bleed over into other aspects of your life. The principles of failure are rarely prejudiced. The behaviors and thoughts that sabotage you in one area of your life will stalk you in other areas. That
reticence to ever ask someone out on a date
probably plays out in your failure to move to a new city, to take that new job, the timidity around your domineering co-workers, your passive-aggressive
relationships with your family members.
When confronted with life’s biggest opportunities, most of us shit the bed. And then we enact a number of strategies to avoid the pain and pressure inherent in reaching for our dreams. Below are 10 of
the most common strategies for reluctance I can think of. We’ll start at the shallow end and work our way to the deep end. Read it and weep.


1. YOU’RE AFRAID TO STAND OUT AMONG
THE CROWD

 “Society everywhere is in conspiracy
against the self-reliance of every one of its
members.” People don’t like it when other people change or do something that makes them feel awkward or insecure. Pushing ourselves to reach our own greatness threatens the complacency of those
around us, shining a light on their own squashed dreams and failed potential. In many cases, these people lash out. It makes them question themselves, which is difficult for most to handle. I talked to a fellow internet entrepreneur last night.
He’s started multiple online ventures. Some have failed. Some have made money. All of it was struggle. He spent time traveling and returned home for the holidays, where his
father promptly told him that he needed to “be realistic” and get a “normal job.”
Simple fact of life: if you want to do something incredible, something that makes you stand out above the rest, then you have to become comfortable being
different from the rest. People will think you’re weird, crazy, selfish, arrogant, irresponsible, obnoxious, stupid, disrespectful, fat, insecure, ugly, shallow, etc. Those closest to you will often become
the harshest. If you have weak boundaries or are not confident with your own ideas and desires, then you’re not going to make it very far.

2. YOU’RE NOT PERSISTPERSISTENT ENOUGH

Most of us give up on something we’re passionate about too soon. And anyone who’s been successful has a tale of struggle and perseverance to share. As the cliche goes, nothing worth having comes easy.

3. YOU LACK HUMILITY

There are many people out there who accomplish a little bit and decide that they are an expert. Humility is knowing what you don’t know. Life requires humility. You can't put water in an already filled container but when the container is emptied,water can pass through. Most of us fail because of pride. "Who does he think he is"?? "How do you expect me to say HI to him"?? These little things can jeopardize your speed to greatness. Kill Pride and work in Love and humility.

4. YOU FAIL TO NETWORK AND BUILD
STRONG RELATIONSHIPS

Life is all about relationships and the right kind of relationship. What relationship have you created?? What kind of friends do you have in your Life??Your success lies in the hands of people. Like I always say,God cannot send down money from Heaven no matter how much you pray. He definitely will use people. But most of us just wants isolation. We have the right people around us but we fail to build relationship with them. I can easily give a million naira to my friend than to my neighbour . Why??? Relationship!!! Everywhere you go,strive to meet new people and create positive relationships with them. You don't know how much help they will be to you tomorrow.

5. YOU’D RATHER ARGUE AGAINST
ADVICE INSTEAD OF TAKING IT

Guaranteed express ticket to failing: trying to be right instead of good. I don’t care what it is, if you’re more invested in arguing your point of view against people who are trying to help you than you are in improving yourself, then you’ve effectively given up. And for all of your brainiac debating,
you’re still too stupid to see it. To succeed at anything, there’s a feedback loop that
must be in place: try something -> get feedback and results -> learn from feedback and results -> try something new . People who are dead set on arguing why what they already believed is right (despite not working) are effectively breaking the chain off and not accepting feedback. Therefore they will never change.

Not to say that everyone should always take advice from everybody, but you should accept feedback whether you believe it’s relevant or not, not try to argue your way into looking like you were right all
along. The people who suffer from this problem tend to be highly intelligent and extremely insecure. It’s a bad mix, because the more intelligent someone is, the
more they’re able to rationalize their own bullshit excuses to themselves, and the more their intellect is used as a defense mechanism to protect their fragile ego.

6. YOU’RE TOO DISTRACTED

Facebook newsfeed, Tweets,Whatsapp,Instagram,check email, Facebook again, back to Google +, oh a funny comic strip, post on Facebook, check
email again, message on Facebook, funny cat pictures, tweet funny cat pictures, look on instagram for more funny cat pictures, rinse and repeat. I apologize if I just described the majority of your waking life.
But the affliction of attention saturation disorder is not limited to useless social media interactions. The bad thing is not Social media or Facebook. The Bad thing is doing all of it and not achieving anything to your personal life. Personally, I do all that,more than most of you all but I have my time where I dedicate to thinking and working.

7. YOU DON’T TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR
WHAT HAPPENS IN YOUR LIFE

Also known as having-an-excuse-for-everything disorder. To fix the problems in your life you must have power over them. You can’t have power over aspects of your life unless you take responsibility for
them. Therefore if you don’t take responsibility for what happens to you, you fail. There are numerous situations in life which may seem completely unfair and insurmountable, there’s nothing you can do about it. I know it’s tempting to blame your problems on some external factor, to insist that it was impossible, that it wasn’t your fault, that you couldn’t have done anything to help it, you see. A proper explanation for failure is gross stupidity. Always take responsibility not only of the good things but also the negative parts.


8. YOU’RE AFRAID TO CARE

Many people catch the indifference bug. They lack a clear, true passion . They’re reluctant to invest themselves top-to-bottom into a venture, project or pursuit. Many of them give up quickly. Others just lose interest. Many lack the wherewithal to even
begin. Chronic indifference is an insidious defense mechanism. It undermines the drive and motivation required to overcome it. Unconsciously, many people are terrified to invest themselves into something
because investing themselves into it could potentially lead to failure and failure could potentially lead to a lot of thoughts their psyche is not yet prepared to face: questions about self-worth, competence, being worthy of love, etc.
Look, in my experience, people
crippled by indifference don’t overcome it until some other emotional issue in their life is uprooted, confronted and kicked out.

9. DEEP DOWN, YOU DON’T THINK YOU
DESERVE WHAT YOU WANT

Many (or most) of the bullet points above are actually top-layers for this underlying cause: believing you don’t deserve what you want. Many of us, at our core, have buried beliefs and feelings about ourselves that aren’t so savory. Maybe we were teased a lot growing up, or our parents and teachers
told us we wouldn’t amount to anything, or we were punished for being smart by our peers. Whatever happened, something happened. And something inside us makes us feel uncomfortable with the idea of
accomplishing too many great things as a result.

It’s another self-esteem conundrum: you always find a way to get rid of what you feel isn’t rightfully yours. The heights and burdens of success make some feel like a king and others like a fraud. For many, getting what they want summons that worm- tongued voice in the back of their mind, prodding their insecurities and fears until they find a way to destroy everything they worked for. It may be a relationship with the best person you’ve ever loved;
it may be a dream job you can’t bring yourself to take; it may be a creative opportunity of a lifetime which you ignore for more “practical” pursuits; it may be merely hanging out with people who you
actually admire and feeling like a ghost.
Whatever it is, the sludge pool of doubts bubbles up and finds a way, always finds a way, to ruin it for you — to make you ruin it for you — and that’s the hardest truth. It’s you. There is no other in this equation. And as much as you deny it, that fear will always linger and remain as an invisible barrier, a clear film separating you from happiness, pushed through and never broken. These issues can be overcome. But it’s painful and gut-wrenching. And
then there’s always just another layer, simmering further below, more fear, ever-present, something we all eventually face over and over and over again.

LOVE IS NEVER ENOUGH!!!

In our culture, many of us idealize love. We see it as some lofty cure-all for all of life’s problems. Our movies and our stories and our history all celebrate it as life’s ultimate goal, the final solution for all of our pain and struggle . And because we idealize love, we overestimate it. As a result, our relationships pay a price. When we believe that “all we need is love,” then like we’re more likely to ignore fundamental values such as respect, humility and commitment
towards the people we care about. After all, if love solves everything, then why bother with all the other stuff — all of the hard stuff? But if, we believe that “love is not
enough,” then we understand that healthy
relationships require more than pure emotion or lofty passions. We understand that there are things more important in our lives and our relationships than simply being in love. And the success of our
relationships hinges on these deeper and more important values.

THREE HARSH TRUTHS ABOUT LOVE

The problem with idealizing love is that it causes us to develop unrealistic expectations about what love actually is and what it can do for us. These
unrealistic expectations then sabotage the very relationships we hold dear in the first place. Allow me to illustrate:

1. Love does not equal compatibility.

 Just because you fall in love with someone doesn’t necessarily mean they’re a good partner for you to be with over the long term. Love is an emotional process; compatibility is a logical process. And the two don’t bleed into one another very well.
It’s possible to fall in love with somebody who doesn’t treat us well, who makes us feel worse about ourselves, who doesn’t hold the same respect for us as we do for them, or who has such a dysfunctional life themselves that they threaten to
bring us down with them. It’s possible to fall in love with somebody who has
different ambitions or life goals that are
contradictory to our own, who holds different philosophical beliefs or worldviews that clash with our own sense of reality.

It’s possible to fall in love with somebody who sucks for us and our happiness .
That may sound paradoxical, but it’s true.
When I think of all of the disastrous relationships I’ve seen or people have told me about, many (or most) of them were entered into on the basis of emotion — they felt that “spark” and so they just dove in head first. Forget that he was a born-again
Christian  and she was an ever regular in church or mosque. It just felt right . And then six months later, when she’s throwing his shit out onto the lawn and he’s praying to Jesus twelve times a day for her salvation, they look around and wonder, “Gee, where did it go wrong?”
The truth is, it went wrong before it even
began . When dating and looking for a partner, you must use not only your heart, but your mind. Yes, you want to find someone who makes your heart flutter and your farts smell like cherry popsicles. But you also need to evaluate a person’s values, how they treat themselves, how they treat those close to them, their ambitions and their worldviews in general. Because if you fall in love with someone who is incompatible with you…  you’re going to have a bad time.

2. Love does not solve your relationship
problems.

My first girlfriend and I were madly in
love with each other. We also lived in different cities,she was in portharcourt and I in Lagos.We had no time or money to see each other, had families who didn't really agree, and we went through weekly
bouts of meaningless drama and fighting.
And every time we fought, we’d come back to each other the next day and make up and remind each other how crazy we were about one another and that none of those little things matter because we’re omg sooooooo in love and we’ll find a way to
work it out and everything will be great, just you wait and see. Our love made us feel like we were overcoming our issues, when on a practical level, absolutely nothing had changed.

As you can imagine, none of our problems got resolved. The fights repeated themselves. The arguments got worse. Our inability to ever see each other hung around our necks like an albatross. We
were both self-absorbed to the point where we couldn’t even communicate that effectively. Hours and hours talking on the phone with nothing actually said. Looking back, there was no hope that it was going to last. Yet we kept it up for two years !
After all, love conquers all, right?
Unsurprisingly, that relationship burst into flames and crashed so bad. The break up was ugly. And the big lesson I took away from it was this: while love may make
you feel better about your relationship
problems, it doesn’t actually solve any of
your relationship problems .

The roller coaster of emotions can be intoxicating, each high feeling even more important and more valid than the one before, but unless there’s a stable and
practical foundation beneath your feet, that rising tide of emotion will eventually come and wash it all away.


3. Love is not always worth sacrificing
yourself.

One of the defining characteristics of
loving someone is that you are able to think outside of yourself and your own needs to help care for another person and their needs as well. But the question that doesn’t get asked often enough is exactly what are you sacrificing, and is it worth it? In loving relationships, it’s normal for both people to
occasionally sacrifice their own desires, their own needs, and their own time for one another. I would argue that this is normal and healthy and a big part of what makes a relationship so great. But when it comes to sacrificing one’s self-respect, one’s dignity, one’s ambitions and life purpose, just to be with someone, then that same love becomes problematic. A loving relationship is
supposed to supplement our individual identity, not damage it or replace it. If we find ourselves in situations where we’re tolerating disrespectful or abusive behavior, then that’s essentially what we’re
doing: we’re allowing our love to consume us and negate us, and if we’re not careful, it will leave us as a shell of the person we once were.


THE FRIENDSHIP TEST

One of the oldest pieces of relationship advice is, “You and your partner should be best friends.” Most people look at that piece of advice in the positive: I should spend time with my partner like I do my best friend; I should communicate openly with my partner like I do with my best friend; I
should have fun with my partner like I do with my best friend. But people should also look at it in the negative: Would you tolerate your partner’s negative behaviors in your best friend? Amazingly, when we ask ourselves this question honestly, in most unhealthy and codependent relationships, the answer is “no.” I know a young woman who just got married. She
was madly in love with her husband. And despite the fact that he had been “between jobs” for more than a year, showed no interest in planning the wedding, often ditched her to take trips with his
friends, and her friends and family raised not-so- subtle concerns about him, she happily married him anyway.
But once the emotional high of the wedding wore off, reality set in. A year into their marriage, he’s still “between jobs,” he trashes the house while she’s at work, gets angry if she doesn’t cook dinner for
him, and any time she complains he tells her that she’s “spoiled” and “arrogant.” Oh, and he still ditches her to take trips with his friends.

And she got into this situation because she ignored all three of the harsh truths above. She idealized love. Despite being slapped in the face by all of the red flags he raised while dating him, she believed that their love signaled relationship compatibility. It
didn’t. When her friends and family raised concerns leading up to the wedding, she believed that their love would solve their problems eventually. It didn’t. And now that everything had fallen into a steaming
shit heap, she approached her friends for advice on how she could sacrifice herself even more to make it work. And the truth is, it won’t.

Why do we tolerate behavior in our romantic relationships that we would never ever, ever tolerate in our friendships?
Imagine if your best friend moved in with you, trashed your place, refused to get a job or pay rent, demanded you cook dinner for them, and got angry and yelled at you any time you complained. That friendship would be over faster than speed of light.
Or another situation: a man’s girlfriend who was so jealous that she demanded passwords to all of his accounts and insisted on accompanying him on his business trips to make sure he wasn’t tempted by other women. His life was practically under 24/7
surveillance and you could see it wearing on his self- esteem. His self-worth dropped to nothing. She didn’t trust him to do anything. So he quit trusting himself
to do anything. Yet he stays with her! Why? Because he’s in love!

Remember this: The only way you can
fully enjoy the love in your life is to choose to make something else more important in your life than love. You can fall in love with a wide variety of people throughout the course of your life. You can fall in love with people who are good for you and people
who are bad for you. You can fall in love in healthy ways and unhealthy ways. You can fall in love when you’re young and when you’re old. Love is not unique. Love is not special. Love is not scarce. But your self-respect is. So is your dignity. So is your
ability to trust. There can potentially be many loves throughout your life, but once you lose your self- respect, your dignity or your ability to trust, they are very hard to get back.

Love is a wonderful experience. It’s one of the greatest experiences life has to offer. And it is something everyone should aspire to feel and enjoy. But like any other experience, it can be healthy or unhealthy. Like any other experience, it cannot be
allowed to define us, our identities or our life purpose. We cannot let it consume us. We cannot sacrifice our identities and self-worth to it. Because the moment we do that, we lose love and we lose ourselves.
Because you need more in life than love. Love is great. Love is necessary. Love is beautiful. But love is not enough.

See you at the top!!!

FIGHTING FOR LOVE!!!

Baaam!!! He slapped her. She fell to the ground clutching her face. Tears careened around her eyes. “Get out of my way you good-for-nothing woman,” he snarled at
her. In searing pain, she managed to drag her hurting body out his way, yet he kicked her in the stomach as he walked past her in a drunken stupor. She grabbed her stomach as she let out an agonizing yell. As though
she were not human, he ignored her pains and headed into the living room. “Next time, don’t make me knock more than three times before you get the door,” he said
authoritatively and walked into the bedroom. It was about 1:00AM and he had just returned from a drinking spree with his friends as usual. It had become their Friday night ritual. Although their salaries had not been paid in months, they drank on credit and ended up spending a huge chunk of their paltry salaries on alcohol bills when their salaries finally arrived.

“ Juliet !” He yelled at her like a house maid. “Yes!” She answered through an avalanche of pain. “I want my dinner ready before I return to the living room.” Juliet, her wife of
nearly fifteen years diligently and obediently lifted her bruised and battered body to the kitchen and began to warm his dinner, which had long gone cold. Their children had been awoken as usual by their father’s angry and drunken return. They lay quietly in bed, wishing he would not lay his hands on their mother. Their only daughter, Ogemma , who was only nine years of age was crying. She muffled her voice by
placing her hands over her mouth to keep from attracting their father’s anger. The last time she cried out loud in response to his terrible beating of their mother, their father Bernard Ogbodo slapped her into quiet submission. Their first child, Chudi who had just turned fourteen lay quietly on the bed, burning with rage. He wished he could beat his father in retaliation.

Like a roaring lion, Bernard returned to the
living room for his late dinner. He dangled and reeled as he walked; the effect of alcohol manifested itself fully on him. Juliet had placed his garri and egusi soup on the
table. He hurriedly washed his hands and began to descend on the food. He dipped his hand in the soup and ransacked every nook and cranny of it. “There is only one little piece of meat in this soup Juliet?” He asked in a feat of rage. “Please my husband that is all we have. It has been months since the last time you gave me any money for the upkeep of this house with four children
and us to cater for, yet I have managed to put food on the table. That is all we have, please manage,” she pleaded with him. He rose to his feet as though he had not heard a word of her plea and slapped her with his
garri and soup-covered hand. Tears flowed limitlessly down her face. Juliet sold okpa ,
a snack made from a native bean. It was more like moi moi , but tasted entirely different. She woke up about 4:30AM almost every morning to begin making her
supply for the day. She and her children worked tirelessly to make up for the several months Bernard had gone without pay.

“Daddy please stop it!” Chudi shouted. He jumped out of bed and grabbed his father
by the waist. He slapped him with sheer brute and he fell to the ground. Galvanized by anger and the desire to save her mother, he jumped back to his feet and pushed
his drunken father who went flying to the ground. “You can’t do that to you father Chudi,” Juliet warned him. “Now go back to bed immediately,” she ordered. Reluctantly, he returned to the bedroom and lay in bed.
His heart was pounding against his ribs. “Are you okay?” Juliet asked Bernard. “Come on help me to my feet,” he snapped arrogantly at her. Despite his impudence, she helped him to his feet and placed him back on the couch. “Please eat your dinner Bernard,” she pleaded. Dazed from the fall, he sat back and quietly ate his dinner. Juliet stayed up to take away his plates and
helped him to bed afterwards. “Why don’t you break his head when he returns home
drunk?” Chudi asked his mother in the morning. “You cannot talk like that about your father Chudi. “I don’t care. He is a worthless father. He barely feeds his
family, yet he returns home drunk most nights and beats his wife who makes sure there is food on his table. Iam ashamed of him.” “When you get older, you’d
understand better. We can only pray for him and do our best.” “Our best would be to beat him silly when he is drunk, and I know you can do it. Why do you let him treat you like that?” “For the sake of God, we cannot
return evil for evil.” “But mom, don’t you feel degraded as a person that he beats you in front of us? I agree with all that church preaching that you bring up all the time, but somethings are meant not to be tolerated, and this is one of them. I don’t think it is bad to put an end to a nasty behavior. Maybe he does not know what
he is doing. We need to make him understand how he makes us feel.” “You are right. He certainly does not know what he is doing. We can only pray for him.”

“Enough of that prayer mom. Slam the alcohol out of his head and he will never touch you in that manner again!”
“I agree with Chudi mom,” added Onyenna, their second son, who was twelve.
“Everybody in our streets knows my father as a drunk, and they know he beats you. Other children make fun of us when we play football. How do you think that makes me feel? And you are still praying for him? The man is lost. He has no sense of responsibility. Beat him whenever he returns drunk, and he will stop it,”
Onyenna insisted. “That is exactly what I say to her,” added Ogemma. “Everyone makes fun of me at school,” she continued. Juliet was willing to take Bernard’s
brutality. She wanted to return his evil with love and prayers, but realizing that his attitude was making life too difficult for their children was a bitter pill to swallow. “Stop it children. I have heard enough from
you. I don’t need your advice anymore.” Meanwhile, she was in deep thought as she tried to mask her pain and sorrows from them. Their words had touched a sore point in her heart. She was overly protective of her children. I have to end this terrible cycle, she thought.

“How can you stand such terrible treatment?” Asked Mama Emeka , her best friend. They were chatting one afternoon after both women had finished their selling businesses for the day. “I was awake the other night when he was pounding you like a punching bag. It is about time you put that ugly trend to an end you know,” she continued. “My friend, I understand what
you mean, but I struggle with the idea of raising my finger against my drunk husband.” “So, you will watch him kill you? What happens to your children, should you
be gone? Last time he left you with a damaged rib. No responsible man hits a woman like that. Think about your
children,” Mama Emeka enjoined Juliet. Juliet and her husband were the biggest gossip topic of the neighborhood. Some women claimed they’d poison their
husband if he treated them like Bernard treated Juliet. Juliet was aware of the gossip, but her faith and upbringing restrained her from retaliating. She tried to turn a deaf ear on the gossip flying around the neighborhood.

One evening, she sat in the living room reading the Bible. She had just returned from Bible study. The pastor had preached forgiveness and love. She studied the Bible
intently, while praying in-between her study. She asked God to grant her the strength not to retaliate against her husband. Most of all, she asked that her husband would change for good. It was a Saturday evening. Bernard had gone out with his friends and was not expected home any time soon. The children played in
front of the house with their friends. “Have a nice evening Kevin,” Bernard’s voice roared from nearby. Kevin was his best friend and drinking buddy. He lived two blocks away. He too was in the habit of beating his wife, Chinelo . “What are you doing there woman?” Bernard yelled impudently at Juliet as soon as he entered the living room. “Welcome Bernard,” Juliet
answered. “I want my dinner ready before I return to the living room,” he ordered as he entered the bedroom to change. His reeked of alcohol. Although Juliet sat on the opposite end of the room, she could smell alcohol from his breathe as he spoke.
As always, she left what she was doing and headed for the kitchen to fix him dinner. Within minutes, she had his dinner set on the table. He dangled back into the living room and pounced on his dinner. “I rarely hear you thank me for the work I do in this house. You have not given me a penny in months, yet I feed us all. It would be nice if you said a simple thank you,” Juliet said
politely to him. “What did you say?” He snapped back at her. “You are doing what other women are doing. In fact, other women are doing better out there. If you
are not here, I would have another wife to replace you in a week. You should shut up and do what you ought to do woman!” Again, tears circled her eyes. She was used
to his brash and caustic words, but all the same, she was still human; she still craved a little bit of love, and warmth from him. She took his plates away and returned to her Bible reading, while he sprawled out on
the bed and began to snore away like a drunk elephant.

In the morning, after church Juliet decided to have a chat with him since he was sober.
“I don’t mean to bother you Bernard, but I think we should talk. Please, could you hear me out? Our marriage is no longer what it should be. I don’t like the idea of you smacking me like an animal whenever you return from your numerous drinking adventures with your friends. First, you are spending too much on drinking.
Second, we have little to live on due to your drinking when you finally get your salary. Third, drinking puts you in a terrible mood, which makes you treat me and the children like nothing. Finally, please could you stop
beating me up. The entire neighborhood laugh at me and other children make fun of our children. Please, could you stop drinking and stop treating me like a piece of
rag?” He stared at her derogatorily for a moment. “Who are you to tell me whether I can drink or not?” “Apart from how it makes you treat us Bernard, your health is
being affected. Remember, the last time your blood pressure went whacky, the doctor asked you stop drinking, but you turned a deaf ear on that. We love you and want you around for long.” “If you have
nothing to do Juliet, then shut your mouth. No one tells me what to do, okay? You should be thankful I am in a happy mood today, else, I would have slapped the hell
out of you,” he threatened. She looked at him and an overpowering sadness came over her. She retreated to the bedroom, lay in bed and cried.

Bernard went out as usual for an evening nigh out with Kevin and company. “What is it mom?” Ogemma asked her mother. She walked in and found her crying by
herself. “Mom, stop crying. I know it is about dad. You try to hold it all inside because you want to take care of everyone. Stop crying mom. It will be alright, although I still think we should all pounce on him one of these days when he returns home drunk. It is for his own good. He will probably die from drinking if we don’t
rescue him.” Despite their young ages, Juliet’s children had matured quickly. The financial struggles of their family as well as witnessing their father’s inhuman
treatment of their mother had instilled maturity in them, beyond their various ages. Juliet continued to cry.
She recalled how warm and loving Bernard had been when they got married. All the promises of love and joy had snowballed into a giant, never ending nightmare. She
was only in her mid-thirties but it seemed as though she was over fifty years of age. The palms of her hands and the soles of her feet were rough, and hard times
had carved deep wrinkles on her face.
Suddenly, a wave of strength rushed through her.

 I have to be strong for myself; for my children, she concluded. I can no longer stand and watch Bernard treat me like a non-entity. I have to end this for good.
No more will I let myself be treated this way, she concluded. “Go and call your brothers for me,” she ordered Ogemma. She scampered outside and fetched
Chudi, Onyenna and the youngest of them all, Uchechukwu . “You sent for us mom,” Chudi said to her. Ogemma had told them that their mom seemed troubled, so they had a worried look on their faces.
“Chudi, I want you to take Uchechukwu to Mama Emeka’s house now.” Uchechukwu was only five, so Juliet wanted her out of the way when their father returned. “Why mom? Is everything okay?” Chudi asked
anxiously. “Everything is going to be alright. Do as I have asked you. When you return, I will tell you what to
next to do. Uche, stay there until we come to get you okay?” “Yes mom.” Chudi dropped Uchechukwu at Mama Emeka’s and dashed back home quickly. Juliet dished out
specific instructions to them afterwards.
It was nearly midnight when Bernard finally arrived home.

He banged on the door as always. There was no answer the first time. By the fourth time, the door opened. He was reeking of alcohol. He could barely stand.
His legs shook as he tried to reach out and slap Juliet for not opening the door soon enough. She was expecting
it. She stepped backwards. Bernard fell to the ground at the door. She dragged him inside the house and shut the door. “Stupid woman, what took you so long?” He
said to her. He could not rise to his feet. He was far too drunk. “Idiot, lift me to my feet!” He ordered her arrogantly. “Rise to your feet by yourself idiot,” she replied. “What did you say? I am going to kill you,” he snapped, but he could not lift himself. “If you call yourself a man, then rise to your feet, stupid drunk.”

“You call me stupid drunk?” “Yes, because that is what you are.” He tried for nearly fifteen minutes before he could get himself to sit in an upright position on the
floor. If I reach you, you will be dead.” Juliet stepped towards him. When she was close enough, she slapped him hard on the face. “ Ayoo !!” he exclaimed in pain.
“You slapped me?” “Yes, and I will do it again.” She delivered another ferocious slap on his face. A rush of rage went through him. The rage seemed to afford him some fresh energy. Holding the wall, he managed to rise to his feet. Juliet stepped away from him. Bernard charged at her. Chudi rushed out from the bedroom and tackled him. He fell to the ground. “Don’t touch him!” Juliet ordered Chudi. Chudi wanted to
pounce on him, but Juliet did not want them involved any further unless she was overpowered by Bernard.

Reluctantly, Chudi stepped back. Juliet stomped and punched Bernard. It was as if she was letting out years of anger and frustration. Smack him mom!” Her children shouted. “Shh!” She instructed them to be quiet. She did not want the neighbors to hear the rumblings in their household. She
continued to pummel him until he begged for mercy. “Please stop Juliet. You will kill me Juliet. Please stop, I will never touch you again.” “No, I want to kill you! You
promised to love and protect me when you married me, but all I have gotten from you is pain and suffering. I have kept quiet all these years for God’s sake. I have
begged you to treat me right. I have asked you to consider our children but you love alcohol and your irresponsible friends more than your family. I will kill you
with my bare hands today. You are a stupid man. I want to teach you the lesson of your life. Has the alcohol cleared from your mind now?” She continued to talk to
him through tears as she pummeled him.
“Please stop Juliet. I will never touch you again,” Bernard pleaded with her. “Children help me please. Your mother is killing me,” he implored his children. “It is okay
mom! It is enough mom, please stop,” Ogemma pleaded with her mother. She was crying by now. Even Chudi and Onyenna felt it was enough. They jumped in and
pulled their mother away from their father whose face had been bruised extensively. “You took my quietness and obedience for weakness. The next time you touch me, I
will skin you alive,” she said as they dragged her away from him.

She walked into the bedroom, clutched her
Bible to her chest and cried passionately. “God, I hope you understand with me. I could no longer watch this man destroy my life and our family,” Juliet said as she
cried. Chudi and his siblings helped their father to the couch. As his drunken stupor diminished, he stared at is children and began to cry. “I am sorry for how I have
treated you my children,” he said through a wave of tears. “It is okay daddy,” they echoed. Ogemma rushed to the kitchen and returned quickly with a bowl of cold
water and towel. She wiped his face while Onyenna offered him a glass of water.
After several minutes, he pulled himself together and they helped him to stand. Chudi held Onyenna and Ogemma as the three of them cried, largely out of
relief. Bernard walked into the bedroom. Juliet was at the base of their bed crying with her Bible close to her chest. He dragged himself to her, and wrapped his arms around her. Her tears were like a broken dam that had no bounds. They flowed uncontrollably. It had been years
since the last time he put his hands around her. “Please stop crying Julie,” he begged her. The last time he called her Julie was around when Chudi was born. Emotions
and memories overwhelmed her. She raised her face, but her eyes were drenched in tears. She could barely see anything. She put her Bible aside and wiped her face. He
held her to himself. Without saying a word, she responded almost instantly. She melted into his arms and held him very firmly. She was still crying, and not even the tough Bernard could stop crying. He too rained tears uncontrollably. After a few minutes, he gently let go and fell to his knees. “I am sorry Julie. I will come to church with you from now on. I will no longer lay my
hands on you. Please forgive me. I promise to quit drinking and to love you like I used to. I will no longer spend time with bad friends who have led me on a terrible path,” he begged her.

“I forgive you my Bernie. Please don’t put us through such hell again!” “I will not. I promise.” From that day, Bernard began his hard fought battle to quit alcohol.
With the help of his loving family and pastor, he gave up alcohol and friends who loved it more than their families. Like a flower previously starved of sunshine and
rain, his family began to blossom and flourish. Home became a place to look forward to, for them and their children. “Love is not easy. Love does not always bring sweet emotions,” he said in church at a thanksgiving service four years after the night that Juliet and their children took the fight to him. “Love is not just
beautiful words and splendid cards,” he continued. “Love is beyond all the beautiful things we make it to be. No doubt, it can be all that, but sometimes, it is sad, hard,
tough, ugly, and mean. Truthfully, love would not be love if it were not tough. In love, sometimes we have to make tough choices. To fight a good fight to help our loved ones cross over from a dark side to the light.

There is a place for turning the other cheek, and there also a place for fighting to save those we love. I am saved and alive today because my wife and children fought for me, against me and with me to show me who I had become, and who I ought to be. In my days of drunkenness, they fought against me. First they turned the other cheek, and when that didn’t work, they took
on their armor and fought me into submission to the will of God. I am glad they did. Most of my drinking friends
are not here today. They have succumbed largely to alcohol-related diseases. I wish they had someone to fight for them. I wish they listened. I thank God for my family and most of all, for their love. Juliet, I will
love you until my dying day. Thanks for fighting to save me from the dark and dingy pit of alcoholism!”

BE MY USHER 2!!!

As I read the usher’s response at the back of the card
again and again, I knew there was something wrong
with her response and not with what I wrote.
Something was definitely wrong with the response no
matter how you want to look at it. I Insisted that I
will not allow a lady’s comment kill my spirit which I had
succeeded in reviving after some months of self-imposed
ban on relationships and relationships related discussions.
I needed that time off to rediscover my strength, my
weaknesses and to generally refocus. It worked like
wonder. I had no commitments, emotions were almost at
a hiatus and my eyes became blinded to a lot of things.
Here I was after rekindling interests in women affairs
and hoping to get the best that I can possibly get, I
was being told to walk in the spirit not to fulfill the
lust of the flesh. I might be wrong but who goes to
the market with his eyes closed? I wondered why the
beautiful usher would settle for that choice of words.
She was wrong, Itried to convince myself for the
umpteenth time. Then again, you may not totally know
what people are thinking at any given time. Something
must have informed that choice of word, I said to
myself as I tried to create some room for the benefit
of doubts. What I did was just an expression of my
desire to see a lady after service; I hadn’t said more
than that. What better way can one possibly convey
one’s expression of interest? Or since it was a church
environment, should I have written it in a different
language? Maybe I should have written it in King
James Version? Maybe like this, ”tell me, O thou lady
whom my eyes seeth and liketh; my soul desireth to see
thee after service. What thinkest thou?’’ Is that how
I should have expressed it to show that I wasn’t driven
by the lust of the flesh that I was fully in the spirit??
The more I look at the texts on the card and scrutinize
those words, the angrier I got. I was almost going to
react to her in like manner; call off the interest and
continue my search elsewhere, after all, they say there
are plenty fishes in the ocean. However, on a second
thought, I decided against calling it off, instead, I made
up my mind I was going to meet the beautiful Usher in
person and then see what would come out of it. I love
the way my heart tends to beat whenever I found
myself in conditions like this. There’s usually this positive
rush of adrenaline which has a way of  activating my
creative juices. You needed to see how much I waited
for the following Sunday,  a day I was almost certain I
would see her again in church.
The following Sunday, I arrived for service way ahead
of time. I knew if she would be in church, she would
equally come on time for their usual prep before services
commenced. Ushers are not allowed to come for Sunday
services late. It is a no no. As I walked through the
church gate, I saw the beautiful usher from afar
discussing with some of her colleagues. I quickly made a
mental calculation of how to take her away from the
mini group without incurring her wrath or setting
myself up for some ridicule. With ladies of how type,
anything is impossible including high powered snub or cold
shoulder. I had an idea of what to do or how to go
about it; all I needed to do is just to put my best foot
forward. I wasn’t badly dressed and my haircut was on
point as well. As for looks, I have got some advantages
too. My spoken English isn’t bad either. Yeah, you got it,
that was me trying to tick all the boxes in my head
before making that all important move. My first
impression needed to be top notch. I needed that killer
impression if I could borrow some slang from Falz, the
fast rising comedian and musician. I walked up to the
group of ushers discussing and exchanging loud banters
and motioned at the usher I had interest in. She pointed
at herself and asked, ‘’me?!’’ I nodded in affirmation. I
was almost going to say ”before nko?!” She excused
herself from the group and walked up to me. While she
was still trying to wriggle herself from the group, I had
taken two or three steps backwards just to make sure
we were not within hearing distance. ”Good morning, I
know you won’t recognize me?’’ ”I actually don’t,’’ she
replied swiftly. I reached deep down within me, looking
for the best possible way to introduce myself and to
shatter the ice. ”My name is walk in the spirit and you
will not fulfill the lust of the flesh,’’ I said. I didn’t
smile while I recited that long name.  I had my eyes
fixed on her eyes looking for what emotion she would
betray. ‘’Oh, is that you? She asked in a rather
mellowed voice. ”Yes!” I answered in an equally mellowed
voice. She was more receptive this time around; I could
see the willingness in her eyes to engage me in further
discussion.What could have changed between last Sunday
and now? Well, wetin conern me, babe dey respond
well and I had to yarn well. I made sure she did not
have an upper hand as the discussion progressed. Like I
mentioned earlier, I reached down into me to draw some
words that can only come from within. Not those cheap
half felt words scattered all over the internet. No, I
wasn’t ‘toasting’ her on the spot. Ah ah, why should I?
That would have been serious jumping of the gun or
putting the cart before the horse. I had to let her
know the first time I saw her and at what point I
made up my mind to talk to her.
Surprise! Surprise! The usher apologized to me for her
choice of words, explaining that they usually get a lot of
notes from guys almost every Sunday. She also confessed
they had to devise ways to turn down those advances
especially the ones they were not interested in. Before
I left her, we had agreed to meet again after the
day’s service to continue from where we stopped. I
walked into the church excited and worshiped God in
spirit and in truth without looking left or right for what
I have not lost. I don’t know if it was me or the
excitement, well, head or tail, the service that morning
seemed unusually long but I enjoyed every bit it. I
looked forward to meeting the beautiful Usher
immediately after service. At the end of the service,
my hope of meeting with this beautiful Usher was
dashed. She walked up to me to say she would not be
seeing me that afternoon. According to her, she was
supposed to be in a meeting of Ushers that afternoon
after service. I asked if we could meet the following
Sunday instead. She refused to make any commitment
insisting we leave our options open. I accepted her
proposal and then pressed for her number. She smiled,
stood for some minutes and stared hard at her phone as
if something would happen to it if she gave me her
number. At the end. we exchanged numbers and for the
first time, she mentioned her name to me. With some
finesse, the usher said her name is Christabel. I told
her my name too. We parted ways immediately after
the exchange of names and number. I watched
Christabel until she was out of sight. This particular
Sunday was better than the previous one; you see, I
wouldn’t have gone this far if I had reacted negatively
to her initial resistance.
I didn’t call Christabel until Thursday night; that was
when it felt right to call her. She did not pick the first
call, well, I wasn’t expecting her to pick either. Women
must be women when it comes to matters like this or
how do you want them to remind you that you are the
one doing the chasing. She picked my third and what
would have been my final attempt at calling her at least
for that day. We moved from the usual rituals, the
”how was your day”, the ”what are you doing right
now” and those kind of questions when you are trying
to establish a proper background. We ended the call on a
high note; we agreed to meet again the following
Sunday. She reassured as long as it is within her
control, she would definitely attend the meeting.
We met the following Sunday as planned. The meeting
was an eye opener; honestly I loved every minute we
spent at our meeting place. We chatted about almost
anything you can think of except the very mundane
things. Of course! I was able to extract from her some
crucial personal details, the type that would make you
throw your hat into the ring and fight until the lady is
yours. There was no need to beat about the bush, I
opened up to her and told her my grand plan for us.
Yes, for us. I wouldn’t say she was excited and I
wouldn’t say was not excited, she looked a bit undecided.
At the end, she would not commit to anything. She
causally requested us to wait and see how things unfold.
I did not bother to press her more than I had already
done that afternoon. I was willing to see how things
would turn out too.
It has been more than seven months since our first
meeting and since we committed to seeing how things
would turn out and the status quo has not changed.
Both of us are still observers waiting to see how
things would go or turn out. Funny enough, she’s not
willing to let go and she’s also not willing to come inside.
Which kain observation be this one biko nu? Will
she ever be mine? I guess time will tell. Let’s keep
observing to see how things would eventually turn out!
All I can say is that we are two cute observers. LOL!

BE MY USHER!!!!

This was my third attempt at getting the attention of
this beautiful usher; I would have said fourth attempt
but I didn’t really make any attempt at getting her
attention on the first day I set my eyes on her. I
basically spent the first day admiring this beautiful
young lady. She met all the physical attributes I have
always admired in ladies and would want my woman to
have. The height is right, the body shape is one in town,
wonderfully and fearfully made, her complexion is simply
cherry on the cake, her, ermm, chest region must have
been the type that was painstakingly described in Songs
of Solomon. If you have read that passage of the bible,
you will have a clearer picture of what I am talking
about. Everything on her was screaming very loud at me
and I responded ”this is my beloved woman, I shall come
after you after service. Look at you, I know what you
are thinking already, ”is that what I go to church to
do?” No, that is not what I normally do in services but
since I told myself it’s time to settle down, my antenna
is super sensitive and alive and what other better place
to get a lady other than in a church. That’s me o. I
don’t know about others.
I was still making a mental calculation of how I was
going to approach her when she walked down to our side
of the aisle. Apparently, she had two aisles to serve and
control, ours was one of them. Before long, she started
distributing some flyers for a special event coming up
the following Sunday. I was sitting at the beginning of
our row, meaning that all things being equal, she was
most likely going to come to me with some of the flyers
so I could extend to other members sitting on the same
row with me. I was right, she approached me, smiled
and handed me a bunch of flyers. It was too sudden for
me, I hadn’t really made up my mind exactly what to
say to her when she arrived. I collected the flyers from
her and did the needful. She walked away from me and
moved further up. This usher really looked good. My eyes
were almost fixated at her as she walked up. ”I will not
let this slip through my fingers,” I assured myself.
After all, we have been accused in the past by the
pastor of not looking very well when we come to
church. He was addressing a recent trend in the church
where most guys go out to marry ladies from other
churches. Here I was, a bachelor, ready to start
something serious with any lady that meets some of the
qualities I was looking for. I hadn’t spoken nor
interacted with her but in terms of the physical
qualities, she looked like the path and I really wanted to
open up a conversation. However, the challenge was,
how do I really get the attention of this busy usher-
lady in a crowded congregation? Luckily for me, the
pastor hadn’t started the day’s sermon, there were
other regular church activities going on.
You won’t believe what I did next, I bowed my head
and said a quick prayer. ”God please send this lady down
to this side and please give the courage to make move
and the right word to say to her.” I wasn’t sure of
what I did, I don’t know if I should have called that a
prayer or my wish sounding very loud in church.
However, it wasn’t longer, the lady turned and started
walking down towards us. Typical of their duty, she was
scanning the the rows as she walked down as if she was
looking for something untoward or for someone who
would ask for her help. Well, I was in need of her help
but not the regular kind of help she had been trained to
offer to the congregation. As she got closer, I stuck
out my little finger; the finger wasn’t so high but it
was high enough to be seen or get her attention. She
acknowledged she had seen my finger with a nod and
then increased her pace towards me. ”What are you
doing, this man?” My mind quipped. There was no time
to answer my mind or to start contemplating what I
was doing, the deed had been done and the lady was
already on flight towards me. Before she got to my seat,
I quickly brought out my card and  scribbled a few
words at the back of the card. I was church, what
other better place to practice ”seek and you shall
find”? ”Hi lovely lady, can I see you briefly immediately
after service?” That was what I scribbled at the back
of the card. Again, luckily for me, the flyers were in
excess and the remainder had been returned to me, so I
was supposed to hand them over to the usher. I quickly
placed my card on top of the flyers before she got to
my seat. As she bent to collect the flyers from me, I
requested to whisper something to her. She bent her
ears towards me, ”I have scribbled something at the
back of my card. Thank you.” She did not utter a word,
she collected the flyers and the card from me and
walked away.
Some minutes later when the congregation was dancing
to the medley of praises from the lead singer, the usher
walked back and handed the card I had given her
earlier on to me with a smile. I couldn’t tell what the
smile was for. I also couldn’t read what she had
scribbled immediately, there was a woman on our row
who I think knew what was going already. I looked at
her direction only for me to catch her looking at me. I
waited until praise time was over to look at the card.
”Walk in the spirit and you will not fulfill the
lust of the flesh,” she had replied. What a response!
I wasn’t walking in the flesh. These church people
know how to use bible passages to hit one hard sha.
When the service ended, the usher had disappeared
from her position. I went home not totally disappointed,
at least I had broken inertia.

ESSENCE OF SPACE IN RELATIONSHIS!!!

Many relationships have been destroyed because of lack of knowledge about this interesting topic. Falling in love is a wonderful thing. However, staying in love can be quite a challenge. When you become part of another person's personal life, there are times when things get out of hand and
you end up stepping on each others' toes. In the case of long term relationships, the tendency to be possessive crops up, and after a while, one or both of you end up
feeling stifled and suffocated in the relationship. If left unchecked, this could fester and eat into your bond and indeed even into your relationship. Learning how to give your boyfriend more space can save
your relationship. If you wish to make your relationship work in the long run, you need
to make short-term changes in order to ensure that you can both breathe freely in your relationship.

To do this, you need to give your boyfriend/man more space. When the word "space" is mentioned, it might conjure up images of distance and separation. These images may later lead on to disturbing thoughts of a breakup. If that is what is running through your mind right now, it is probably time to pause and actually consider what it means to give your boyfriend space. Remember this - "space" is NOT synonymous with "breakup". Giving your boyfriend space just means that you step back a little so that he will have the time and ability to go about his normal routine without feeling closeted in by you. Many men complain that their girlfriends don't give them enough space and demand that they account for all their spare time. While this might seem interesting and
even cute at the beginning of a relationship, it can become quite a strain as time goes by.

Your boyfriend might have goals of his own that he needs to work on. Or, he might wish to spend time with the boys or with sports that he loves. Further still, he just might want some time to himself to relax or
sort things out. If you truly want your relationship to last, give him the time and space he needs. Consider the following points on how to give your boyfriend more space.

Ways To Give Boyfriend Space

The first thing you need to keep in mind to give your boyfriend time is to stop expecting him to spend every free minute either with you or talking to you over the phone. Understand that he has a life of his
own, and until he makes a commitment to you in terms of marriage, he will still have a life of his own no matter how much you love each other. Understanding and accepting this will help condition your mind with regard to further steps in giving him space.

The second thing that you need to remember is that you should not make your boyfriend feel stifled with calls, messages, e-mails and other forms of communication from you. You might be more than happy to
stop expecting him to constantly keep in touch. However, are you inundating him with excess communication? An occasional message or a sweet e-mail will touch his heart. However, if you take every moment
you get to keep texting or e-mailing him, it will begin to annoy him over a period of time, no matter how much he loves you.

A third point to remember is to go slow on verbal expressions of love. Some women want to keep getting reassured as often as possible that they are loved and cherished. While this is natural and women do have
the need to feel loved, expecting your man to keep on telling you that he loves you will end up annoying him. There are many ways in which a man expresses his love - these ways can range to a simple look, a touch, a gift or just an occasion he takes out of his busy life to spend time either with you or talking to you. Look for ways in which he
shows you that he cares, instead of always expecting him to say that he cares. Apart from this, avoid repeatedly telling him that you love him.

 After a while, it becomes meaningless. In order for your words to really mean a lot to him, limit them and express them in a way that he will never forget. Finally, give your man the time he needs. Your intentions might be really good when it comes to giving your man space. However, many
women make the mistake of giving their boyfriends a deadline when it comes to space. They might give him all the space he wants for a month or two and then start stifling them again. For many others, it might be rather easy to give their boyfriend space for a few weeks, but then they begin to miss the old routine and conversations, and they go back to stifling their man with full force, even more than before.

If you feel that your man needs space but are unsure as to how to go about it, choose a time when both of you are relaxed and take time out to discuss the matter with him. You will be able to deal with the situation better, and will be able to mutually agree as to how much space is needed, and for how long it would be needed. This will help build your bond and will make your relationship last for a lifetime.

See you at the top!!!

10 Tips to Keep Your Attitude in Check

When times get tough it can be easy for your attitude to take a complete nosedive.
Everyone goes through ups and downs, but it is very important to keep a positive outlook even when you are at your lowest. Your attitude has an effect on so many aspects of your life such as your health, your motivation and even how others perceive you. By following a few of the following tips, you will be sure to keep your attitude in check, even in the most difficult of times.

1. Exercise More

Exercising is extremely important not only for physical fitness, but for mental wellness, as well. It is widely known that endorphins
released after rigorous physical activity increase your level of positive emotions, but you don’t necessarily need to “go hard” to
reap these benefits. Studies have shown that even just a moderate amount of exercise is capable of improving your mood. Your best bet is to choose something that you really enjoy. It is important to keep it interesting, as well. Many people tend to get bored of performing the exact same exercise each day, so change up your daily walking routine with a day of jogging or swimming. Just keep it fun and the
positive attitude will follow.

2. Get Plenty of Sleep

Getting the right amount of sleep is a necessity when it comes to keeping your attitude in line. Just about everyone has had a sleepless night and knows just how your body and mind feel the next day. Not only are you physically exhausted, but your emotions and mood decline drastically, as well. This isn’t just for insomniacs, either. Studies have shown that partial sleep deprivation has a negative effect on your mood, as well. Stress levels increase, mental exhaustion sets in and your daily outlook is just grim. Getting plenty of shut-eye will surely help to keep your attitude more upbeat and keep the negative thoughts at
bay.

3. Set Aside Time for a Special Talent or Hobby

Do you have a special talent or even a hobby that you could brush up on? Then put it into action! Doing something that you are good at or enjoy is a great way to alleviate stress and anger, thus leading to a more positive attitude. Pick up your paintbrush or go out into your garden when you start feeling low. Having a positive
outlet that showcases your talent will help to facilitate an encouraging mood turnaround. Even if your passion isn’t something that you are an expert at
quite yet, you can use this time to improve upon it. Seeing your talent progress will motivate you to keep at it and your sense of
achievement will lead to an overall happier mood.

4. Be an Optimist

Finding the good in every situation can be difficult, but being an optimist will move your attitude in the right direction. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that optimistic people are healthier, both mentally and physically, than the pessimists who bring others down. Want to become more optimistic ? Well, you really should, even though it is not easy task for everyone. A good way to start this change would be to stop being so competitive with others and
envision yourself succeeding. Focus on the positive and bounce back from the negatives.

5. Give Back to Your Community

Volunteering can be an incredible mood booster. Helping others creates an intrinsic value that improves attitude and motivates you to keep paying it forward. There are infinite ways for you to give back to your community and it is up to you to figure out what you are best suited for. Animal lovers can easily help out and you don’t need to go out and adopt an animal yourself to do so. Volunteer your time at a shelter as a dog walker or help to get the animals moved into a loving forever home. There are numerous animal and wildlife organizations that are dedicated to improving the lives of animals, and by doing your part you will feel such a sense of happiness that will surely spill over into other aspects of your life.

6. Organize and De-clutter Your Life

Being unorganized is a sure way to increase stress. When you are constantly looking for things or losing them it begins to build
anxiety. Being organized leads a person to be more productive, which in turn can motivate you to keep performing at your best because of your increased positive attitude. So, get rid of this unnecessary
frustration and clean up your life!
An easy way to get started with this is to simply stop buying things that you do not need. All of those little extra items take up
space and the clutter will end up driving you crazy. Then, clean up what you have. File paperwork in its appropriate place, tidy up your space and most importantly, know where everything is located. An organized life leads to a clearer mind, which will keep stress down and positive emotions high.

7. Learn Something New

Picking up new skills or bits of information can increase motivation and overall mood. It makes you feel accomplished and your brain functions better when you are increasing your knowledge threshold,
leading to a higher level of self worth.
Luckily, with all of the resources at your disposal, learning can be fun! You can check out “how to” videos on YouTube or pick up a new hobby while browsing. Want to get out of the house to learn something new? Go to your local library or to a museum that you have been wanting to visit. While you are there, you might even meet someone with similar interests and you can build upon your social life, which also increases a positive attitude.

8. Consume Healthy Food

The relationship between food and your mood is one that should be nourished in a healthy manner. Too much sugar and processed food will leave you feeling low and your body will not be able to function
at its best. Unhealthy foods tend to hinder proper brain function, leaving you with a pretty significantly unbalanced mental state. Adversely, eating more nutritious and whole foods can improve your demeanor and keep you feeling good throughout the day. Try eating more fruits, vegetables and lean proteins to keep your mind from slipping into negative thoughts. Also, if you are feeling low, a bit of dark chocolate can turn that around! It increases the serotonin levels in the brain, leaving you feeling satisfied and happy.

9. Meditate and Breathe Deeply

Stress can have a negative impact on even the most upbeat people, bringing them down and adjusting their attitude. A great way to keep the positive emotions flowing is through meditation . Get yourself into a quiet area at the end of a long day, get comfortable and focus on your breathing. Breathe deeply and slowly while focusing on your thoughts and direct them into a positive light. It’s also great to think on power statements, like verses or quotes .
Meditation is also a great way to start out your day. Before you even get out of bed, you can sit up and focus your thoughts on
how you want the day to progress. By envisioning yourself being happy and reaching your daily goals, you make it much easier to actually carry out the tasks that go along with them. You don’t need to be in the quiet of your own home to reap the benefits, either. While out and about, if you become overwhelmed or feel your mood drifting toward the dark side, simply take a step back and breathe deeply. Focus on your breath for a few seconds, clear your negative thoughts and go forth with a positive attitude.

10. Be Appreciative for What You Have

In today’s world, the concept of “more is better” has taken over. People are constantly wanting things that they do not have and they tend to dwell on it more than they really should. It is great to have admirations because it can be a motivator for you to reach a goal, thus getting you what you desire. Dream big, there is
nothing wrong with that! Unfortunately, many become too focused on these objects or dreams that they do not possess, and they forget about what they already
have. When you have a roof over your head and food on your plate, you already have a lot to appreciate. There are plenty of people
around the world that would give just about anything to have those very two things.
A great way to be thankful for what you already have is to focus on what you actually need to live and survive. Not having that big screen television that all of the celebrities do will not truly hinder
your life. Just as having that expensive diamond necklace will not improve the quality of your life.

Simply appreciate what you have because there are many others who do not have nearly as much as you do. By focusing on what you already possess, more importantly what you possess emotionally,
your attitude will surely find itself climbing toward the positive end of the spectrum.

See you at the top!!!