When times get tough it can be easy for your attitude to take a complete nosedive.
Everyone goes through ups and downs, but it is very important to keep a positive outlook even when you are at your lowest. Your attitude has an effect on so many aspects of your life such as your health, your motivation and even how others perceive you. By following a few of the following tips, you will be sure to keep your attitude in check, even in the most difficult of times.
1. Exercise More
Exercising is extremely important not only for physical fitness, but for mental wellness, as well. It is widely known that endorphins
released after rigorous physical activity increase your level of positive emotions, but you don’t necessarily need to “go hard” to
reap these benefits. Studies have shown that even just a moderate amount of exercise is capable of improving your mood. Your best bet is to choose something that you really enjoy. It is important to keep it interesting, as well. Many people tend to get bored of performing the exact same exercise each day, so change up your daily walking routine with a day of jogging or swimming. Just keep it fun and the
positive attitude will follow.
2. Get Plenty of Sleep
Getting the right amount of sleep is a necessity when it comes to keeping your attitude in line. Just about everyone has had a sleepless night and knows just how your body and mind feel the next day. Not only are you physically exhausted, but your emotions and mood decline drastically, as well. This isn’t just for insomniacs, either. Studies have shown that partial sleep deprivation has a negative effect on your mood, as well. Stress levels increase, mental exhaustion sets in and your daily outlook is just grim. Getting plenty of shut-eye will surely help to keep your attitude more upbeat and keep the negative thoughts at
bay.
3. Set Aside Time for a Special Talent or Hobby
Do you have a special talent or even a hobby that you could brush up on? Then put it into action! Doing something that you are good at or enjoy is a great way to alleviate stress and anger, thus leading to a more positive attitude. Pick up your paintbrush or go out into your garden when you start feeling low. Having a positive
outlet that showcases your talent will help to facilitate an encouraging mood turnaround. Even if your passion isn’t something that you are an expert at
quite yet, you can use this time to improve upon it. Seeing your talent progress will motivate you to keep at it and your sense of
achievement will lead to an overall happier mood.
4. Be an Optimist
Finding the good in every situation can be difficult, but being an optimist will move your attitude in the right direction. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that optimistic people are healthier, both mentally and physically, than the pessimists who bring others down. Want to become more optimistic ? Well, you really should, even though it is not easy task for everyone. A good way to start this change would be to stop being so competitive with others and
envision yourself succeeding. Focus on the positive and bounce back from the negatives.
5. Give Back to Your Community
Volunteering can be an incredible mood booster. Helping others creates an intrinsic value that improves attitude and motivates you to keep paying it forward. There are infinite ways for you to give back to your community and it is up to you to figure out what you are best suited for. Animal lovers can easily help out and you don’t need to go out and adopt an animal yourself to do so. Volunteer your time at a shelter as a dog walker or help to get the animals moved into a loving forever home. There are numerous animal and wildlife organizations that are dedicated to improving the lives of animals, and by doing your part you will feel such a sense of happiness that will surely spill over into other aspects of your life.
6. Organize and De-clutter Your Life
Being unorganized is a sure way to increase stress. When you are constantly looking for things or losing them it begins to build
anxiety. Being organized leads a person to be more productive, which in turn can motivate you to keep performing at your best because of your increased positive attitude. So, get rid of this unnecessary
frustration and clean up your life!
An easy way to get started with this is to simply stop buying things that you do not need. All of those little extra items take up
space and the clutter will end up driving you crazy. Then, clean up what you have. File paperwork in its appropriate place, tidy up your space and most importantly, know where everything is located. An organized life leads to a clearer mind, which will keep stress down and positive emotions high.
7. Learn Something New
Picking up new skills or bits of information can increase motivation and overall mood. It makes you feel accomplished and your brain functions better when you are increasing your knowledge threshold,
leading to a higher level of self worth.
Luckily, with all of the resources at your disposal, learning can be fun! You can check out “how to” videos on YouTube or pick up a new hobby while browsing. Want to get out of the house to learn something new? Go to your local library or to a museum that you have been wanting to visit. While you are there, you might even meet someone with similar interests and you can build upon your social life, which also increases a positive attitude.
8. Consume Healthy Food
The relationship between food and your mood is one that should be nourished in a healthy manner. Too much sugar and processed food will leave you feeling low and your body will not be able to function
at its best. Unhealthy foods tend to hinder proper brain function, leaving you with a pretty significantly unbalanced mental state. Adversely, eating more nutritious and whole foods can improve your demeanor and keep you feeling good throughout the day. Try eating more fruits, vegetables and lean proteins to keep your mind from slipping into negative thoughts. Also, if you are feeling low, a bit of dark chocolate can turn that around! It increases the serotonin levels in the brain, leaving you feeling satisfied and happy.
9. Meditate and Breathe Deeply
Stress can have a negative impact on even the most upbeat people, bringing them down and adjusting their attitude. A great way to keep the positive emotions flowing is through meditation . Get yourself into a quiet area at the end of a long day, get comfortable and focus on your breathing. Breathe deeply and slowly while focusing on your thoughts and direct them into a positive light. It’s also great to think on power statements, like verses or quotes .
Meditation is also a great way to start out your day. Before you even get out of bed, you can sit up and focus your thoughts on
how you want the day to progress. By envisioning yourself being happy and reaching your daily goals, you make it much easier to actually carry out the tasks that go along with them. You don’t need to be in the quiet of your own home to reap the benefits, either. While out and about, if you become overwhelmed or feel your mood drifting toward the dark side, simply take a step back and breathe deeply. Focus on your breath for a few seconds, clear your negative thoughts and go forth with a positive attitude.
10. Be Appreciative for What You Have
In today’s world, the concept of “more is better” has taken over. People are constantly wanting things that they do not have and they tend to dwell on it more than they really should. It is great to have admirations because it can be a motivator for you to reach a goal, thus getting you what you desire. Dream big, there is
nothing wrong with that! Unfortunately, many become too focused on these objects or dreams that they do not possess, and they forget about what they already
have. When you have a roof over your head and food on your plate, you already have a lot to appreciate. There are plenty of people
around the world that would give just about anything to have those very two things.
A great way to be thankful for what you already have is to focus on what you actually need to live and survive. Not having that big screen television that all of the celebrities do will not truly hinder
your life. Just as having that expensive diamond necklace will not improve the quality of your life.
Simply appreciate what you have because there are many others who do not have nearly as much as you do. By focusing on what you already possess, more importantly what you possess emotionally,
your attitude will surely find itself climbing toward the positive end of the spectrum.
See you at the top!!!
Motivational. . . Inspirational. . . Success. . . Information
Sunday, 29 November 2015
FOR MEN : WHY CHARM AND CHARISMA ARE SO IMPORTANT
“I can’t believe this! What more am I supposed to do to convince her of my love? She says I am honest, kind, loving, and all that garbage, yet she is not sure I am
the one for her. What more does she want?” My good friend Benjamin asked. His frustration and desperation were palpable. I wanted to be of help to my dear
friend, but I had to be truthful to him too. Carefully, I sought for a means to help him take a look at things through a different pair of binoculars. “You asked what
more you need to do to convince her of your love?” I asked him carefully. “Yes Sam, What more?” He replied with rage. One would have thought I was Glory, who
had been proving hard to get despite Benjamin’s intense love towards her. “It is not a matter of whether you love her or not, Ben,” I replied. “She already knows that. It is more about whether she loves you or not.”
Stunned, he gaped at me as though I had just fallen off the sky. Obviously he had not thought of that. He had been under the impression that if he pushed hard enough, expressing his intense love and desire towards her, she’d eventually fall for him. The opposite was the case, and that had left him thoroughly sapped and emotionally devastated. I often hear men ask the same
question, “What do women really want?” Not that I have figured it all out, and quite frankly it varies from one lady to another, as well as one scenario to another.
Nonetheless, when it comes to the art of wooing a lady, some key ingredients cannot be left out of the process if success and happiness are to be achieved.
“Ben, I think she does not feel as much for you as you do for her. She is not crazy about you. She knows something is missing. She does not feel the butterflies
running amok in her stomach when she sees you. Being nice, honest, kind and all that are certainly important, but a woman wants to go gaga for you, nonetheless.
She wants to feel her heart quake like an erupting volcano when she is around you. She wants to know that she loves you deeply, that she could probably gasp
for air without you in her life. That may sound hard, but until she feels that way, she is unlikely to consider the other qualities about you. Let’s face it my friend,
people do crazy things for those they love, even though sometimes observers may look on and wonder why we do those stupid things for someone they consider seeming
unworthy of our actions. It is because we love them madly, even though they may be apparently COMMMON in the eyes of others (not possessing some qualities most
of us would desire in a mate). Until she is insanely in love with you, nothing you do matters to her really.”
“But I am trying my best!!! I can’t force her to love me!!!” He was yelling his lungs out. “Calm down Ben. How have you gone about trying to win her love? I have been around you two for a while, and I can tell a few
things myself. You have literally thrown yourself at her and expect her to do the same, haven’t you?” He stared at the ground like a child caught in the act by a
reprimanding parent. “It was not long after the two of you met that you began to literally breathe down her neck to be your
girlfriend. You buy her gifts and take her out on exotic dates, yet nothing has changed. You talk about the future as though you can see how your life meshes
with hers in the coming months, without wondering if she too has come to that conclusion. You call her a lot on the phone as though you’d die if you didn’t. That is
okay, but too much of it is not good at all, especially when she has not fully committed to the idea of the
two of you being together. You are more like a pest now than a lover. She is tolerating you instead of enjoying being around you. She is conflicted…she knows you have great personal qualities, so she wonders if she should really let go of you, and at the same time she knows
she wants to be madly in love with you, and she is not.
At least not yet. Charm and Charisma my friend. Charm and Charisma are the ingredients that you have failed to
throw into the pot since you have been attempted to cook up some love for Glory. If you have to stand any chance of arousing love and desire in her heart, you
must reroute your approach.”
“Charm and Charisma?” He asked, as though he had never heard those words before. I nodded affirmatively to him and went on to dissect the two words as I will
do below in this write-up. It is no longer news that we all like the mystic. We like the idea of not being ordinary (common). It then makes sense that we desire the same
in our mates, except that when we fall in love with someone, we forget some of the rules of the game. Girls often try to play hard to get. They don’t want to be
considered ordinary, so they make us work a bit for their love and attention. And most men like it because they crave the mystic too (and there is nothing wrong with that). They come to cherish her when they finally
win her over. They like to take time to peel the different layers around her away, as they come to know each other. It is part of the thrill of love and relationship. The same applies to men; women like the idea of sophistication and an element of mystery about their men. They want to see how much he can handle during the chasing game. Is he going to fall flat on his
face and cave in under pressure if she does not say yes right away? Mind you women like security, and your
ability to weave a level of mystery around yourself as a man contributes to that sense of security. To that end
I recommend the following;
Don’t ask her to be your girlfriend too quickly : This is very difficult for most men to handle. You know when you meet that elegant girl and something clicks
between the two of you. The chemistry is there, you can tell. Then you ask her out on a date and keep it simple and friendly, for the time being. If the date goes well, with each passing minute you want to tell her you love her and ask her to be your girlfriend. Sadly, most men meet their waterloo in the form of a capital “No”
or “I am not sure” if they let impulse rule their head at this stage. Try to get to know her first. Both of you know something is brewing, and that makes you want to
go straight to the matter. No!!!! Don’t do it yet – grind it out for a while. Buy her gifts (simple stuff at this stage) if you can and don’t call like a lonely guy whose
life is drab and uninteresting. Give her the impression that your life is fun and exciting. Spend time with your friends too, and make her realize you have other friends (there is more to your life and social circle). Don’t be in a hurry to introduce her to your friends and family. It may scare her off if she is not sure yet. Bid your time.
The idea is to drag both of you to a point where you are both dying to say – “I love you. I want you. I need you in my life.” Asking her too soon drastically
narrows the chances of hearing those expressions. It might even mean the end of the relationship before it starts.
Don’t tell her the entire story of your life and family too soon : Some guys have the need to impress girls by talking about themselves. “I did this. I have this.
I have that. I am this or that.” Those can only devalue your worth because a brilliant girl knows they can only spring from a well of inadequacy. When you have to sing
your own praises and verbally brandish your material accomplishments, even the blind can tell that you have very little to offer intellectually and socially. If you can
engage a girl and capture her whole imagination and attention, you have no need to talk about yourself, because you can discuss many other spheres of life and
society than yourself. By the way, how would you feel if a girl said things line; “I own this; I have this; I won that?” Charm her with your intellect and not your personal glories. It may even tell her that you are self-absorbed, and she may be right too. If you must show off, then show off your intellect and not your achievements and acquisitions. Yes, we know some girls
are crazy about money and all that go with it, but the fact that she is with you for what you have does not mean that she loves and adores you deeply. If you ask me, I’d rather be loved and adored beyond measure
from deep within by my wife (no matter what I have or do not have), than to be managed, endured and tolerated for what I have.
Make her laugh : Most men fail to appreciate how simply making a girl laugh would harness their chances of
hitting it off with her. The truth is, almost every girl would tell you the same thing. They are captivated by your ability to make them laugh. Research has proven this too. It brings her closer to you emotionally. It builds some kind of connection between you two when she laughs with you. It makes her relaxed around you; makes
her trust you more and feel at home in your presence. Often, after a guy has taken time to woo a girl, most girls have melted into the guy’s hands in a spell of laughter leading to those magical words; “You know I really love you. I feel at home with you.” Job done!
Take an interest in little details : Color blindness is a genetic ailment that troubles men, and is rarely found inn women. So, when you observe every girl, you are
likely to see her color shine through. Men dress in what fits, but women go further than that; they match colors more passionately. In fact, just about every girl
has a favorite color, which is boldly reflected in her dressing. Find out little things like her favorite color and
let that shine through when and if you do buy her gifts. Find out her interests, he worries, her aspirations and fears. That way, you know how to impress her, excite her, how not to scare her away, and how to support her. If you pay attention to these subtle details rather than preach your own biography all the time, she will certainly find you charming, and that is more likely to harness your chances with her. She feels assured that you have her interest at heart when she knows that you notice little details in her life.
Don’t be childish : Some guys are too preemptive. Once a girl smiles at them, they assume she is in love with them. They cannot distinguish between courtesy and love. They begin to try to dominate her life. They want to tell her what to do, how to do it, when to do it, who to be friends with, and so on.
They may even go as far as looking through her phone perhaps at a date in a restaurant. They want to see who else she is talking to. Seriously, that fit give you high blood pressure –it is not worth it. If you don’t trust her, why bother? Most times, it is more that the guy does not trust himself, so he measures her by the same parameters he would measure himself, because of his own track record. Further, what makes you think you can change her? Try changing yourself and see how difficult that can be, how much more someone else. The moment you begin to throw child-like tantrums, you are relegating yourself to a pool of classless, petty, controlling, and drab guys she does not want to associate with. Before you know it, she will go from “I am thinking about it” to “This is not for me. Bye and all the best!!!”
Be brave : Even when you have done everything right to the letter, she fit still do small shakara add . This is only a test, don’t fail it. Your charismatic nature is reflected in the way you handle adversity. Don’t be negative when she is doing shakara. Don’t throw in the towel easily and walk away. Don’t capitulate; persist like a man with a smile on your face and the determination of a warrior at war. If you begin to argue and complain about how she is treating you when she is doing shakara, it makes you look immature and not up to the challenge. Tough it out! Ride out the challenge. Do it with self-assurance and an unflappable demeanor – that is charisma and girls find it attractive!
Even when you have observed all the rules in the book, things may still not work out, but that is life. It may work out the next time, so carry on. In my friend’s case, it did. She fell massively in love with him, and they are happily married today. At the end of the day, simply be yourself – don’t fake it. However, if you find out that some aspects of your style, behavior and/or approach are rusty; brush up on those with some of the tips in this write-up. Life is about growing up and finding yourself. That may take some work. Never give up on yourself, we can all grow and shine with little work and effort here and there. Learn how to exude charm and charisma, and you are likely to do yourself a world of good in the dating and marriage arena. Love is a beautiful
the one for her. What more does she want?” My good friend Benjamin asked. His frustration and desperation were palpable. I wanted to be of help to my dear
friend, but I had to be truthful to him too. Carefully, I sought for a means to help him take a look at things through a different pair of binoculars. “You asked what
more you need to do to convince her of your love?” I asked him carefully. “Yes Sam, What more?” He replied with rage. One would have thought I was Glory, who
had been proving hard to get despite Benjamin’s intense love towards her. “It is not a matter of whether you love her or not, Ben,” I replied. “She already knows that. It is more about whether she loves you or not.”
Stunned, he gaped at me as though I had just fallen off the sky. Obviously he had not thought of that. He had been under the impression that if he pushed hard enough, expressing his intense love and desire towards her, she’d eventually fall for him. The opposite was the case, and that had left him thoroughly sapped and emotionally devastated. I often hear men ask the same
question, “What do women really want?” Not that I have figured it all out, and quite frankly it varies from one lady to another, as well as one scenario to another.
Nonetheless, when it comes to the art of wooing a lady, some key ingredients cannot be left out of the process if success and happiness are to be achieved.
“Ben, I think she does not feel as much for you as you do for her. She is not crazy about you. She knows something is missing. She does not feel the butterflies
running amok in her stomach when she sees you. Being nice, honest, kind and all that are certainly important, but a woman wants to go gaga for you, nonetheless.
She wants to feel her heart quake like an erupting volcano when she is around you. She wants to know that she loves you deeply, that she could probably gasp
for air without you in her life. That may sound hard, but until she feels that way, she is unlikely to consider the other qualities about you. Let’s face it my friend,
people do crazy things for those they love, even though sometimes observers may look on and wonder why we do those stupid things for someone they consider seeming
unworthy of our actions. It is because we love them madly, even though they may be apparently COMMMON in the eyes of others (not possessing some qualities most
of us would desire in a mate). Until she is insanely in love with you, nothing you do matters to her really.”
“But I am trying my best!!! I can’t force her to love me!!!” He was yelling his lungs out. “Calm down Ben. How have you gone about trying to win her love? I have been around you two for a while, and I can tell a few
things myself. You have literally thrown yourself at her and expect her to do the same, haven’t you?” He stared at the ground like a child caught in the act by a
reprimanding parent. “It was not long after the two of you met that you began to literally breathe down her neck to be your
girlfriend. You buy her gifts and take her out on exotic dates, yet nothing has changed. You talk about the future as though you can see how your life meshes
with hers in the coming months, without wondering if she too has come to that conclusion. You call her a lot on the phone as though you’d die if you didn’t. That is
okay, but too much of it is not good at all, especially when she has not fully committed to the idea of the
two of you being together. You are more like a pest now than a lover. She is tolerating you instead of enjoying being around you. She is conflicted…she knows you have great personal qualities, so she wonders if she should really let go of you, and at the same time she knows
she wants to be madly in love with you, and she is not.
At least not yet. Charm and Charisma my friend. Charm and Charisma are the ingredients that you have failed to
throw into the pot since you have been attempted to cook up some love for Glory. If you have to stand any chance of arousing love and desire in her heart, you
must reroute your approach.”
“Charm and Charisma?” He asked, as though he had never heard those words before. I nodded affirmatively to him and went on to dissect the two words as I will
do below in this write-up. It is no longer news that we all like the mystic. We like the idea of not being ordinary (common). It then makes sense that we desire the same
in our mates, except that when we fall in love with someone, we forget some of the rules of the game. Girls often try to play hard to get. They don’t want to be
considered ordinary, so they make us work a bit for their love and attention. And most men like it because they crave the mystic too (and there is nothing wrong with that). They come to cherish her when they finally
win her over. They like to take time to peel the different layers around her away, as they come to know each other. It is part of the thrill of love and relationship. The same applies to men; women like the idea of sophistication and an element of mystery about their men. They want to see how much he can handle during the chasing game. Is he going to fall flat on his
face and cave in under pressure if she does not say yes right away? Mind you women like security, and your
ability to weave a level of mystery around yourself as a man contributes to that sense of security. To that end
I recommend the following;
Don’t ask her to be your girlfriend too quickly : This is very difficult for most men to handle. You know when you meet that elegant girl and something clicks
between the two of you. The chemistry is there, you can tell. Then you ask her out on a date and keep it simple and friendly, for the time being. If the date goes well, with each passing minute you want to tell her you love her and ask her to be your girlfriend. Sadly, most men meet their waterloo in the form of a capital “No”
or “I am not sure” if they let impulse rule their head at this stage. Try to get to know her first. Both of you know something is brewing, and that makes you want to
go straight to the matter. No!!!! Don’t do it yet – grind it out for a while. Buy her gifts (simple stuff at this stage) if you can and don’t call like a lonely guy whose
life is drab and uninteresting. Give her the impression that your life is fun and exciting. Spend time with your friends too, and make her realize you have other friends (there is more to your life and social circle). Don’t be in a hurry to introduce her to your friends and family. It may scare her off if she is not sure yet. Bid your time.
The idea is to drag both of you to a point where you are both dying to say – “I love you. I want you. I need you in my life.” Asking her too soon drastically
narrows the chances of hearing those expressions. It might even mean the end of the relationship before it starts.
Don’t tell her the entire story of your life and family too soon : Some guys have the need to impress girls by talking about themselves. “I did this. I have this.
I have that. I am this or that.” Those can only devalue your worth because a brilliant girl knows they can only spring from a well of inadequacy. When you have to sing
your own praises and verbally brandish your material accomplishments, even the blind can tell that you have very little to offer intellectually and socially. If you can
engage a girl and capture her whole imagination and attention, you have no need to talk about yourself, because you can discuss many other spheres of life and
society than yourself. By the way, how would you feel if a girl said things line; “I own this; I have this; I won that?” Charm her with your intellect and not your personal glories. It may even tell her that you are self-absorbed, and she may be right too. If you must show off, then show off your intellect and not your achievements and acquisitions. Yes, we know some girls
are crazy about money and all that go with it, but the fact that she is with you for what you have does not mean that she loves and adores you deeply. If you ask me, I’d rather be loved and adored beyond measure
from deep within by my wife (no matter what I have or do not have), than to be managed, endured and tolerated for what I have.
Make her laugh : Most men fail to appreciate how simply making a girl laugh would harness their chances of
hitting it off with her. The truth is, almost every girl would tell you the same thing. They are captivated by your ability to make them laugh. Research has proven this too. It brings her closer to you emotionally. It builds some kind of connection between you two when she laughs with you. It makes her relaxed around you; makes
her trust you more and feel at home in your presence. Often, after a guy has taken time to woo a girl, most girls have melted into the guy’s hands in a spell of laughter leading to those magical words; “You know I really love you. I feel at home with you.” Job done!
Take an interest in little details : Color blindness is a genetic ailment that troubles men, and is rarely found inn women. So, when you observe every girl, you are
likely to see her color shine through. Men dress in what fits, but women go further than that; they match colors more passionately. In fact, just about every girl
has a favorite color, which is boldly reflected in her dressing. Find out little things like her favorite color and
let that shine through when and if you do buy her gifts. Find out her interests, he worries, her aspirations and fears. That way, you know how to impress her, excite her, how not to scare her away, and how to support her. If you pay attention to these subtle details rather than preach your own biography all the time, she will certainly find you charming, and that is more likely to harness your chances with her. She feels assured that you have her interest at heart when she knows that you notice little details in her life.
Don’t be childish : Some guys are too preemptive. Once a girl smiles at them, they assume she is in love with them. They cannot distinguish between courtesy and love. They begin to try to dominate her life. They want to tell her what to do, how to do it, when to do it, who to be friends with, and so on.
They may even go as far as looking through her phone perhaps at a date in a restaurant. They want to see who else she is talking to. Seriously, that fit give you high blood pressure –it is not worth it. If you don’t trust her, why bother? Most times, it is more that the guy does not trust himself, so he measures her by the same parameters he would measure himself, because of his own track record. Further, what makes you think you can change her? Try changing yourself and see how difficult that can be, how much more someone else. The moment you begin to throw child-like tantrums, you are relegating yourself to a pool of classless, petty, controlling, and drab guys she does not want to associate with. Before you know it, she will go from “I am thinking about it” to “This is not for me. Bye and all the best!!!”
Be brave : Even when you have done everything right to the letter, she fit still do small shakara add . This is only a test, don’t fail it. Your charismatic nature is reflected in the way you handle adversity. Don’t be negative when she is doing shakara. Don’t throw in the towel easily and walk away. Don’t capitulate; persist like a man with a smile on your face and the determination of a warrior at war. If you begin to argue and complain about how she is treating you when she is doing shakara, it makes you look immature and not up to the challenge. Tough it out! Ride out the challenge. Do it with self-assurance and an unflappable demeanor – that is charisma and girls find it attractive!
Even when you have observed all the rules in the book, things may still not work out, but that is life. It may work out the next time, so carry on. In my friend’s case, it did. She fell massively in love with him, and they are happily married today. At the end of the day, simply be yourself – don’t fake it. However, if you find out that some aspects of your style, behavior and/or approach are rusty; brush up on those with some of the tips in this write-up. Life is about growing up and finding yourself. That may take some work. Never give up on yourself, we can all grow and shine with little work and effort here and there. Learn how to exude charm and charisma, and you are likely to do yourself a world of good in the dating and marriage arena. Love is a beautiful
MY HERO HAS RETURNED!!!
She dragged a heavy bag in each hand as she labored towards her apartment. It was scorching hot. The sun seemed to have come closer to earth, as it pounded
everything below it with unrelenting heat. Bisola was a plum, beautiful woman, even in her forties. Her round face, charming smile, and curves still caught the eyes
of men around her age. She had refused to have anything to do with men since the catastrophic death of her loving husband, Wale in a ghastly motor accident.
Streaks of sweat dripped down her forehead and
dropped lazily to her shoulders. It was just a few more
minutes before she’d reach her apartment. “Welcome
Mama Gbemi !” Shouted the children playing in front of
her building. It was a shabby, old yellow building in one
of the many shanty streets in Ajegunle. It was hard to
determine the population of the building. Friends and
families of the real tenants were always squatting with
their friends and relatives at one point or the other.
Gbemi was Bisola’s youngest child. She was only seven
years of age. “Thank you children, how are you?” “Fine
thanks,” they echoed. Gbemi ran from inside the house
to greet her mother. One of the children in front of
the building, Bello had already grabbed one of the bags
from Bisola. Before Segun could grab the other, Gbemi
was already there to yank it off her mother’s hand.
“Welcome Mom!” Thank you Gbemi. How was school
today?” “School was great Mom. I drew a tree and a
car. Mr. Adeniran said I did very well,” Gbemi
answered with infectious gusto.
“That is what I like to hear. Mr. Adeniran never gets it
wrong. If he said you did well, then you must have done
very well,” Bisola replied enthusiastically. Gbemi smiled
ravishingly, as she basked in her mother’s praise. “So,
where are your brothers?” Bisola asked when they
entered their tiny two-room apartment. One room served
as the living room, while the other was the bedroom.
Bisola had two sons, Aremu and Adefemi , and they
all crammed into the small apartment. “Aremu must be
playing football at the field behind the house. I saw him
there a while ago. I don’t know where Adefemi has
gone to.” “Okay, go and fetch Aremu. We have to make
dinner before NEPA strikes.” “Okay Mom.” Gbemi dashed
off to fetch her older brother. Aremu was three years
older than Gbemi. Adefemi was to turn nineteen in a
few weeks. Bisola had him before getting married to
Wale. They were secondary school sweethearts and
before they realized it, their educational careers hit the
rock before it started. Bisola became pregnant in the
final year of secondary school, and Wale had to drop out
of school to provide for her and the coming baby. Both
of their parents were poor, living just a few streets
away in Ajegunle. Wale became a bus conductor and
later a driver in an effort to provide for his family.
Bisola had problems conceiving after Adefemi was born.
Nine years later, God answered her prayers when she
conceived Aremu and only three years later, Gbemi was
born. Wale died just before Gbemi was born.
Bisola was an excellent cook. Wale used to rave about
her food. Quickly she made stew and rice. She ate with
Aremu and Gbemi, who had their shower afterwards and
retired to bed. They had to get some sleep to be sharp
at school the next morning. That was Wale’s idea to
send the kids to bed early enough and Bisola had stuck
to it after his passing. Adefemi was still nowhere to be
found. This was a common scenario in their household.
Adefemi had grown unmanageable over the past two
years. He dropped out of school and hung out with the
wrong crowd. Before Bisola knew it, Adefemi was
puffing out cigarette smoke like a chimney, and he soon
graduated to Marijuana. He reeked of weed each time
he returned from his numerous late night outings. He had
just been released from police cell for stealing. Bisola
could hardly sleep at night until Adefemi returned, and
this night was no different. She sat at the table and
tried to read. She had been taking classes of late in an
effort to complete secondary education, and hopefully
write SSCE. She always wanted to do more in life – go
to university and get a degree. She wanted to make her
parents who did not study any further than primary
school proud, but getting pregnant too soon snuffed out
her dreams. She was reading a government textbook
with keen interest. When she stopped to check the
time, it was midnight, and Adefemi was not home yet.
She needed to sleep as she had to be at the market in
the morning. She had a small stall at Boundary Market
where she sold food items.
She looked up at Wale’s picture which she had left
hanging on the wall. She missed him so much. He was
the love of her life. If only you were still here,
Adefemi would not treat me like this. You would control
him, I know that, she thought to herself. She could not
take her eyes of the picture. She got up, took the
picture and wiped dust off it with her palm. She
thought of when he used to take her to Bar Beach…
how he would make her laugh. They were real soul
mates. Wale loved her immensely. Then, Adefemi rammed
loudly on the door. She placed the picture back on the
hook on the wall and walked over to the door. “Where
are you coming from?” She asked as she opened the
door. “None of your business,” he replied disrespectfully.
He walked past Bisola as though she did not exist. His
baggy jeans were hanging below his butt and he reeked
of Marijuana and alcohol. “If you keep returning this
late, I will be forced to throw you out Adefemi,” she
threatened. “You can’t,” he countered with annoying
impudence. He went to the bedroom and took his plate
of rice Bisola had already dished out for him. Bisola
returned to the bedroom and lay in bed. Tears trickled
down unto her pillow. She worried that Adefemi might
graduate from stealing to armed robbery. He might get
killed, then I would have failed my husband. God, what
do I do? She wondered painfully. She had gotten Wale’s
brothers to talk to Adefemi, and his parents too, but
Adefemi seemed to be getting worse. He would listen to
no one.
The next day Bisola got a call to report to the police
station. Her heart was quivering feverishly as she
trekked briskly to the station. She had quickly called her
friend and neighbor, Kemi and asked her to take care of
Aremu and Gbemi in case she stayed out late at the
station. She knew it had to do with Adefemi. “Officer,
I was told to report here, please is it something to do
with my son? The police man wey call me no gree
tell me wetin happen .” Her voice was riddled with
apprehension. “ Wetin be the officer name wey call
you ?” “ I no remember, but my son name na
Adefemi Olusola. ” “Sit down there. I dey come .” The
officer left and returned shortly with a frown on his
face. “Madam, your son was caught with his friends
trying to rape a girl at knife point. And they had
Marijuana in their possession.” Bisola was not surprised.
She had known it was only a matter of time before it
happened. She put together all her savings to hire a
lawyer who got Adefemi out of police net. That did not
end his run-ins with the law. There were more arrests
and more spending, leaving Bisola cash-strapped and
prone to high blood pressure.
One evening, she was in the bedroom by herself. She
had been crying all day. She woke up in the morning
with no desire to get out of bed. She managed to take
Aremu and Gbemi to school, and returned to bed, where
she sobbed her heart out. Adefemi had not been home
in two days. His friends claimed they did not know
where he was. Fear; immobilizing fear encapsulated her.
She knew something bad was in the offing. Her spirit
craved her late husband; someone to take charge and
put the boy in his place. “Are you crying mom?” Gbemi
asked. Bisola did not hear her come in. “No I am not.”
“You always say we should not lie but you are lying mom.
I see the tears in your eyes. It is about Adefemi isn’t
it?” She nodded her head. “Mom, you must remember
that you still have Aremu and I, you know. If you kill
yourself worrying about Adefemi, there will be no one
to take care of us.” “I will not die Gbemi,” she said
forcefully. She pulled her closer and hugged her. “But
you are worrying and crying all the time,” Gbemi insisted.
Bisola knew Gbemi was right.
A day later, Adefemi appeared from nowhere. Bisola had
left the door open in case he returned late. She was
fast asleep having taken a sleeping pill earlier. I can’t
change him. I leave it all in God’s hands, she had
decided. In the morning, she pretended she had not seen
him. She put her wares together and headed to the
market. Adefemi rolled out of bed and went over to the
living room. He turned on the TV and scanned through
the channels. It was a Saturday morning. Aremu was
playing football in the backyard with friends. Gbemi who
had been playing outside ran into their apartment to get
something, and that was when she found Adefemi
guzzling down yam and egg sauce while staring at the
TV distractedly. She stared at him for a moment.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” He asked. She
walked closer and asked, “Can I sit in your lap?” “No.
Why?” “Because I want to, like old times. You
remember? You used to carry me in your lap when I
was little. You would buy me biscuits and sweet. Will you
carry me again big brother?” “Reluctantly, Adefemi
placed his plate on the table and carried her. He placed
her on his laps and stroked her hair gently. “It has been
a long time since you did this Ade.” Gbemi said. Adefemi
said nothing. “You are not talking to me, but I know you
can hear me. You used to take care of Aremu and I. I
remember then…fun days. I would wait all day…
impatiently for you to return from school. You’d carry
me around the compound and tell people you’d do
anything for your little sister. You’d take me to the
kiosk and buy me sweet. I was the queen of the world.
I would sit atop your shoulders glamorously, as if I
controlled the world. For me, I was really a queen
because you made me feel like one. Mom was very proud
of you and how you looked after us…and her too. Don’t
you think she needs you to that now? With us not
having a dad, she expects you to be our protector
around her when she is not around; but you…you are
never around big brother. Some days I come in here like
I did today and I pretend I were sitting in your laps…
hugged and held by my brother who represented the dad
I never knew. I was told by everyone that daddy was
a good man. In you I saw the same, but not anymore.
You come back late and you talk to mom anyhow. You
don’t even notice your little sister anymore. I have gone
from your little queen to nobody. Aremu misses his big
brother too, but he just carries on. I miss my hero. The
one that used to lift me shoulder high to the top of the
world, not the one talks back at my loving mother. If
she dies worrying about you, I will never forgive you.
Please let me down. I want to go and play now. When
my hero returns, I will let him carry me again…right
now, you are not my hero!”
She wriggled out of his grip and walked away confidently
as if nothing had happened. Adefemi could not hold back
his tears. A pang of guilt ravaged him. Memories of his
father came flooding back. He recalled how his father
used to lift him shoulder high too. He cried for a good
two hours, then he went to the wall and stared at his
father’s picture. “I am sorry papa,” he said quietly. He
went to the shower, had a quick wash, got dressed and
walked to the market. Bisola was shocked to see him
around. It had been ages since the last time he came to
see her at the stall. “Hi mom,” he said in a low tone.
“ You well so, this one wey you come here today?
Or you get wahala wey you need me to take care
of?” “I am fine mom. I no get wahala .” He sat beside
her. Almost immediately, someone came to buy pepper
and Bisola was about to get up to serve them, but
Adefemi beat her to it. “Don’t worry mom. How much
pepper you want ?” He asked the customer. With his
mother’s guidance, he made a sale; the first in over two
three years. When the customer left, Adefemi melted
into his mother’s arms. “I am sorry ma! I am sorry.
Please forgive me for all the trouble I put you through.
I have been dealing with papa’s death for some years
now and in my grief, I sought satisfaction in all the
wrong places. I am sorry. I will never hurt you again.”
Bisola did not know whether to start dancing or crying.
Overcome by emotion, she burst into tears, hugging her
son. Her neighbors at the market who knew what had
been going on were in tears too. “ I no sell again
today ,” she said. “ I dey go house to make him
ewedu soup, his favorite .” Bisola announced after a
prolonged mother and son hug. She packed up with
Adefemi’s help and they walked home together, hand-in-
hand. Adefemi joined her in the kitchen, cutting and
grinding as she mixed and stirred. Gbemi walked into the
kitchen and saw Adefemi with their mother. She was
delightfully surprised. “Are you helping mom?” “Yes oh!”
Bisola answered before Adefemi could utter a word. She
ran towards him with joy shouting, “That is my hero. My
hero is home!” He scooped her up and lifted her shoulder
high. “This is my hero!” She continued to shout.
The End!
everything below it with unrelenting heat. Bisola was a plum, beautiful woman, even in her forties. Her round face, charming smile, and curves still caught the eyes
of men around her age. She had refused to have anything to do with men since the catastrophic death of her loving husband, Wale in a ghastly motor accident.
Streaks of sweat dripped down her forehead and
dropped lazily to her shoulders. It was just a few more
minutes before she’d reach her apartment. “Welcome
Mama Gbemi !” Shouted the children playing in front of
her building. It was a shabby, old yellow building in one
of the many shanty streets in Ajegunle. It was hard to
determine the population of the building. Friends and
families of the real tenants were always squatting with
their friends and relatives at one point or the other.
Gbemi was Bisola’s youngest child. She was only seven
years of age. “Thank you children, how are you?” “Fine
thanks,” they echoed. Gbemi ran from inside the house
to greet her mother. One of the children in front of
the building, Bello had already grabbed one of the bags
from Bisola. Before Segun could grab the other, Gbemi
was already there to yank it off her mother’s hand.
“Welcome Mom!” Thank you Gbemi. How was school
today?” “School was great Mom. I drew a tree and a
car. Mr. Adeniran said I did very well,” Gbemi
answered with infectious gusto.
“That is what I like to hear. Mr. Adeniran never gets it
wrong. If he said you did well, then you must have done
very well,” Bisola replied enthusiastically. Gbemi smiled
ravishingly, as she basked in her mother’s praise. “So,
where are your brothers?” Bisola asked when they
entered their tiny two-room apartment. One room served
as the living room, while the other was the bedroom.
Bisola had two sons, Aremu and Adefemi , and they
all crammed into the small apartment. “Aremu must be
playing football at the field behind the house. I saw him
there a while ago. I don’t know where Adefemi has
gone to.” “Okay, go and fetch Aremu. We have to make
dinner before NEPA strikes.” “Okay Mom.” Gbemi dashed
off to fetch her older brother. Aremu was three years
older than Gbemi. Adefemi was to turn nineteen in a
few weeks. Bisola had him before getting married to
Wale. They were secondary school sweethearts and
before they realized it, their educational careers hit the
rock before it started. Bisola became pregnant in the
final year of secondary school, and Wale had to drop out
of school to provide for her and the coming baby. Both
of their parents were poor, living just a few streets
away in Ajegunle. Wale became a bus conductor and
later a driver in an effort to provide for his family.
Bisola had problems conceiving after Adefemi was born.
Nine years later, God answered her prayers when she
conceived Aremu and only three years later, Gbemi was
born. Wale died just before Gbemi was born.
Bisola was an excellent cook. Wale used to rave about
her food. Quickly she made stew and rice. She ate with
Aremu and Gbemi, who had their shower afterwards and
retired to bed. They had to get some sleep to be sharp
at school the next morning. That was Wale’s idea to
send the kids to bed early enough and Bisola had stuck
to it after his passing. Adefemi was still nowhere to be
found. This was a common scenario in their household.
Adefemi had grown unmanageable over the past two
years. He dropped out of school and hung out with the
wrong crowd. Before Bisola knew it, Adefemi was
puffing out cigarette smoke like a chimney, and he soon
graduated to Marijuana. He reeked of weed each time
he returned from his numerous late night outings. He had
just been released from police cell for stealing. Bisola
could hardly sleep at night until Adefemi returned, and
this night was no different. She sat at the table and
tried to read. She had been taking classes of late in an
effort to complete secondary education, and hopefully
write SSCE. She always wanted to do more in life – go
to university and get a degree. She wanted to make her
parents who did not study any further than primary
school proud, but getting pregnant too soon snuffed out
her dreams. She was reading a government textbook
with keen interest. When she stopped to check the
time, it was midnight, and Adefemi was not home yet.
She needed to sleep as she had to be at the market in
the morning. She had a small stall at Boundary Market
where she sold food items.
She looked up at Wale’s picture which she had left
hanging on the wall. She missed him so much. He was
the love of her life. If only you were still here,
Adefemi would not treat me like this. You would control
him, I know that, she thought to herself. She could not
take her eyes of the picture. She got up, took the
picture and wiped dust off it with her palm. She
thought of when he used to take her to Bar Beach…
how he would make her laugh. They were real soul
mates. Wale loved her immensely. Then, Adefemi rammed
loudly on the door. She placed the picture back on the
hook on the wall and walked over to the door. “Where
are you coming from?” She asked as she opened the
door. “None of your business,” he replied disrespectfully.
He walked past Bisola as though she did not exist. His
baggy jeans were hanging below his butt and he reeked
of Marijuana and alcohol. “If you keep returning this
late, I will be forced to throw you out Adefemi,” she
threatened. “You can’t,” he countered with annoying
impudence. He went to the bedroom and took his plate
of rice Bisola had already dished out for him. Bisola
returned to the bedroom and lay in bed. Tears trickled
down unto her pillow. She worried that Adefemi might
graduate from stealing to armed robbery. He might get
killed, then I would have failed my husband. God, what
do I do? She wondered painfully. She had gotten Wale’s
brothers to talk to Adefemi, and his parents too, but
Adefemi seemed to be getting worse. He would listen to
no one.
The next day Bisola got a call to report to the police
station. Her heart was quivering feverishly as she
trekked briskly to the station. She had quickly called her
friend and neighbor, Kemi and asked her to take care of
Aremu and Gbemi in case she stayed out late at the
station. She knew it had to do with Adefemi. “Officer,
I was told to report here, please is it something to do
with my son? The police man wey call me no gree
tell me wetin happen .” Her voice was riddled with
apprehension. “ Wetin be the officer name wey call
you ?” “ I no remember, but my son name na
Adefemi Olusola. ” “Sit down there. I dey come .” The
officer left and returned shortly with a frown on his
face. “Madam, your son was caught with his friends
trying to rape a girl at knife point. And they had
Marijuana in their possession.” Bisola was not surprised.
She had known it was only a matter of time before it
happened. She put together all her savings to hire a
lawyer who got Adefemi out of police net. That did not
end his run-ins with the law. There were more arrests
and more spending, leaving Bisola cash-strapped and
prone to high blood pressure.
One evening, she was in the bedroom by herself. She
had been crying all day. She woke up in the morning
with no desire to get out of bed. She managed to take
Aremu and Gbemi to school, and returned to bed, where
she sobbed her heart out. Adefemi had not been home
in two days. His friends claimed they did not know
where he was. Fear; immobilizing fear encapsulated her.
She knew something bad was in the offing. Her spirit
craved her late husband; someone to take charge and
put the boy in his place. “Are you crying mom?” Gbemi
asked. Bisola did not hear her come in. “No I am not.”
“You always say we should not lie but you are lying mom.
I see the tears in your eyes. It is about Adefemi isn’t
it?” She nodded her head. “Mom, you must remember
that you still have Aremu and I, you know. If you kill
yourself worrying about Adefemi, there will be no one
to take care of us.” “I will not die Gbemi,” she said
forcefully. She pulled her closer and hugged her. “But
you are worrying and crying all the time,” Gbemi insisted.
Bisola knew Gbemi was right.
A day later, Adefemi appeared from nowhere. Bisola had
left the door open in case he returned late. She was
fast asleep having taken a sleeping pill earlier. I can’t
change him. I leave it all in God’s hands, she had
decided. In the morning, she pretended she had not seen
him. She put her wares together and headed to the
market. Adefemi rolled out of bed and went over to the
living room. He turned on the TV and scanned through
the channels. It was a Saturday morning. Aremu was
playing football in the backyard with friends. Gbemi who
had been playing outside ran into their apartment to get
something, and that was when she found Adefemi
guzzling down yam and egg sauce while staring at the
TV distractedly. She stared at him for a moment.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” He asked. She
walked closer and asked, “Can I sit in your lap?” “No.
Why?” “Because I want to, like old times. You
remember? You used to carry me in your lap when I
was little. You would buy me biscuits and sweet. Will you
carry me again big brother?” “Reluctantly, Adefemi
placed his plate on the table and carried her. He placed
her on his laps and stroked her hair gently. “It has been
a long time since you did this Ade.” Gbemi said. Adefemi
said nothing. “You are not talking to me, but I know you
can hear me. You used to take care of Aremu and I. I
remember then…fun days. I would wait all day…
impatiently for you to return from school. You’d carry
me around the compound and tell people you’d do
anything for your little sister. You’d take me to the
kiosk and buy me sweet. I was the queen of the world.
I would sit atop your shoulders glamorously, as if I
controlled the world. For me, I was really a queen
because you made me feel like one. Mom was very proud
of you and how you looked after us…and her too. Don’t
you think she needs you to that now? With us not
having a dad, she expects you to be our protector
around her when she is not around; but you…you are
never around big brother. Some days I come in here like
I did today and I pretend I were sitting in your laps…
hugged and held by my brother who represented the dad
I never knew. I was told by everyone that daddy was
a good man. In you I saw the same, but not anymore.
You come back late and you talk to mom anyhow. You
don’t even notice your little sister anymore. I have gone
from your little queen to nobody. Aremu misses his big
brother too, but he just carries on. I miss my hero. The
one that used to lift me shoulder high to the top of the
world, not the one talks back at my loving mother. If
she dies worrying about you, I will never forgive you.
Please let me down. I want to go and play now. When
my hero returns, I will let him carry me again…right
now, you are not my hero!”
She wriggled out of his grip and walked away confidently
as if nothing had happened. Adefemi could not hold back
his tears. A pang of guilt ravaged him. Memories of his
father came flooding back. He recalled how his father
used to lift him shoulder high too. He cried for a good
two hours, then he went to the wall and stared at his
father’s picture. “I am sorry papa,” he said quietly. He
went to the shower, had a quick wash, got dressed and
walked to the market. Bisola was shocked to see him
around. It had been ages since the last time he came to
see her at the stall. “Hi mom,” he said in a low tone.
“ You well so, this one wey you come here today?
Or you get wahala wey you need me to take care
of?” “I am fine mom. I no get wahala .” He sat beside
her. Almost immediately, someone came to buy pepper
and Bisola was about to get up to serve them, but
Adefemi beat her to it. “Don’t worry mom. How much
pepper you want ?” He asked the customer. With his
mother’s guidance, he made a sale; the first in over two
three years. When the customer left, Adefemi melted
into his mother’s arms. “I am sorry ma! I am sorry.
Please forgive me for all the trouble I put you through.
I have been dealing with papa’s death for some years
now and in my grief, I sought satisfaction in all the
wrong places. I am sorry. I will never hurt you again.”
Bisola did not know whether to start dancing or crying.
Overcome by emotion, she burst into tears, hugging her
son. Her neighbors at the market who knew what had
been going on were in tears too. “ I no sell again
today ,” she said. “ I dey go house to make him
ewedu soup, his favorite .” Bisola announced after a
prolonged mother and son hug. She packed up with
Adefemi’s help and they walked home together, hand-in-
hand. Adefemi joined her in the kitchen, cutting and
grinding as she mixed and stirred. Gbemi walked into the
kitchen and saw Adefemi with their mother. She was
delightfully surprised. “Are you helping mom?” “Yes oh!”
Bisola answered before Adefemi could utter a word. She
ran towards him with joy shouting, “That is my hero. My
hero is home!” He scooped her up and lifted her shoulder
high. “This is my hero!” She continued to shout.
The End!
Friday, 27 November 2015
MY HUSBAND AND I(PART8)
Lara folded her arms round her chest as she
watched her mother in-law pack some fruits into
a basket.
“You’re going out” she said rather than asked.
“Yes, but I’ll be back soon.” Amara replied
covering the basket with a table cloth.
“I’m coming with you…” Lara began to say.
“No…”
“I’m coming with you!” she said firmly.
“Lara, you can’t come with me, okay?” Amara
tried to soothe her.
“Is there anything wrong? You’ve been going out
now for the past one week, and…and… Or is there
anything you’re hiding from me?” Lara said with a
frown.
“Now, Lara relax your nerves, okay. Stay back, I’l
buy you something when I’m coming back.”
Amara patted her.
“Okay then…I’l be going back to my place.” Lara
pouted.
“Lara! You can’t…”
“I can’t stay here all alone!” Lara began to cry.
Amara sighed, she knew her game is up. She
needed to tell Lara the truth. But how would she
start? Tony would be discharged that night.
“Errm..Lara, Tony had an accident, he’ll be
discharged today.” she said slowly.
“Accident? Tony?” Lara held her chest firmly.
“Yes, he'll be discharged today.” Amara sighed
again.
“I’m coming with you to see him!” Lara said
huskily.
“No…I’l drop you at your place instead, you'll see
him later in the day, when he’s been discharged.”
Amara told her.
Lara felt her knee go weak, she prayed the
accident isn’t that bad.
...
Lara toyed with her cornrows out of boredom. Her
mother-in-law had called to tell her they were on
their way.
She tried to imagine what Tony would look like,
maybe he would wear a scowl, or perhaps bark at
her.
She heard the front door open, she stood up
sharply, expectantly.
“Welco…” what she saw made her tongue stick
to the roof of her mouth…
Tony sat in a wheel chair, he looked so pale.
Chief Ifiora pushed the wheel chair into the room.
Lara looked on, she tried to speak, but couldn’t.
Tony looked up at her, he held her gaze, his eyes
full of regrets, sorrow and pains.
Lara looked away, tears stung her eyelids, was it
real? She asked herself.
“Don’t cry.” Amara hugged her.
Lara wept on her shoulder, she watched her
father-in-law push Tony in his wheel chair
towards his room.
Tears blurred her vision. Was this the same Tony
she saw few days ago? Now he is in a wheel-
chair?
She hugged her mother-in-law and they both wept
holding each other tightly.
...
“Breakfast is ready…” Lara cooed as she helped
Tony sit-up on his bed.
He was watching her closely. She’s been
supportive ever since he came back from the
hospital.
He had always imagined her paying him back his
evils now that he is defenceless, but she proved
his imaginations wrong.
He wondered if she had forgiven him, cos he hasn't even asked for
her forgiveness yet.
“Hope you don’t mind me putting too much milk
in your tea…the doctor said you should drink a lot of milk o.” Lara
smiled as she offered him a cup
of tea in a saucer.
“Thank you.” he said almost in a whisper.
“Your toast is here, your boiled eggs, your potato
chips, your fried plantains, your ….” Lara listed as
she pushed a tray full of food towards him.
“Are these for only me?” Tony’s eyes widened.
“Yes o! The doctor said you need a balanced
diet!” Lara said
Tony laughed, he never knew she had a sense of
humour.
“Eat up, while I get your bath water ready…” she
quipped.
“Errrm..Lara?” he searched her eyes.
“yes?” she turned to look at him.
“I…errm…I…just…wanted to say I’m
sorry..for..for..all I did to you…I’m…” he
stammered.
“Oh please, don’t start! Stop those I’m sorry
stuff!” Lara frowned.
“I don’t..know….Its..just that…just that…I feel I’m
not worth your kindness….” he continued.
“Now, don’t talk like that, I hold no grudges
against you..okay? Now eat up and take your
bathe, you know your father would be here soon…
remember you’re seeing the doctor today…huh?”
she said sweetly.
Tony held her gaze for a while before she looked
away.
...to be continued...
watched her mother in-law pack some fruits into
a basket.
“You’re going out” she said rather than asked.
“Yes, but I’ll be back soon.” Amara replied
covering the basket with a table cloth.
“I’m coming with you…” Lara began to say.
“No…”
“I’m coming with you!” she said firmly.
“Lara, you can’t come with me, okay?” Amara
tried to soothe her.
“Is there anything wrong? You’ve been going out
now for the past one week, and…and… Or is there
anything you’re hiding from me?” Lara said with a
frown.
“Now, Lara relax your nerves, okay. Stay back, I’l
buy you something when I’m coming back.”
Amara patted her.
“Okay then…I’l be going back to my place.” Lara
pouted.
“Lara! You can’t…”
“I can’t stay here all alone!” Lara began to cry.
Amara sighed, she knew her game is up. She
needed to tell Lara the truth. But how would she
start? Tony would be discharged that night.
“Errm..Lara, Tony had an accident, he’ll be
discharged today.” she said slowly.
“Accident? Tony?” Lara held her chest firmly.
“Yes, he'll be discharged today.” Amara sighed
again.
“I’m coming with you to see him!” Lara said
huskily.
“No…I’l drop you at your place instead, you'll see
him later in the day, when he’s been discharged.”
Amara told her.
Lara felt her knee go weak, she prayed the
accident isn’t that bad.
...
Lara toyed with her cornrows out of boredom. Her
mother-in-law had called to tell her they were on
their way.
She tried to imagine what Tony would look like,
maybe he would wear a scowl, or perhaps bark at
her.
She heard the front door open, she stood up
sharply, expectantly.
“Welco…” what she saw made her tongue stick
to the roof of her mouth…
Tony sat in a wheel chair, he looked so pale.
Chief Ifiora pushed the wheel chair into the room.
Lara looked on, she tried to speak, but couldn’t.
Tony looked up at her, he held her gaze, his eyes
full of regrets, sorrow and pains.
Lara looked away, tears stung her eyelids, was it
real? She asked herself.
“Don’t cry.” Amara hugged her.
Lara wept on her shoulder, she watched her
father-in-law push Tony in his wheel chair
towards his room.
Tears blurred her vision. Was this the same Tony
she saw few days ago? Now he is in a wheel-
chair?
She hugged her mother-in-law and they both wept
holding each other tightly.
...
“Breakfast is ready…” Lara cooed as she helped
Tony sit-up on his bed.
He was watching her closely. She’s been
supportive ever since he came back from the
hospital.
He had always imagined her paying him back his
evils now that he is defenceless, but she proved
his imaginations wrong.
He wondered if she had forgiven him, cos he hasn't even asked for
her forgiveness yet.
“Hope you don’t mind me putting too much milk
in your tea…the doctor said you should drink a lot of milk o.” Lara
smiled as she offered him a cup
of tea in a saucer.
“Thank you.” he said almost in a whisper.
“Your toast is here, your boiled eggs, your potato
chips, your fried plantains, your ….” Lara listed as
she pushed a tray full of food towards him.
“Are these for only me?” Tony’s eyes widened.
“Yes o! The doctor said you need a balanced
diet!” Lara said
Tony laughed, he never knew she had a sense of
humour.
“Eat up, while I get your bath water ready…” she
quipped.
“Errrm..Lara?” he searched her eyes.
“yes?” she turned to look at him.
“I…errm…I…just…wanted to say I’m
sorry..for..for..all I did to you…I’m…” he
stammered.
“Oh please, don’t start! Stop those I’m sorry
stuff!” Lara frowned.
“I don’t..know….Its..just that…just that…I feel I’m
not worth your kindness….” he continued.
“Now, don’t talk like that, I hold no grudges
against you..okay? Now eat up and take your
bathe, you know your father would be here soon…
remember you’re seeing the doctor today…huh?”
she said sweetly.
Tony held her gaze for a while before she looked
away.
...to be continued...
MY HUSBAND AND I (PART 7)
Tony knotted his tie whilst sipping some coffee. The night had been
terrible, different night mares taunting him, he was awake 75
percent of the night. He ignited his car, and Lara crossed his mind. Her
beautiful eyes that widens when she’s scared was all he could see.
He’s been just wicked to her, only God knows the story she’s telling
his father now about him. He changed his gear and sped on the
highway. He knew his father won’t spare him, he would take the
company off his hand, collect all he has and worst of all disown him.
“Oh poo!” he rubbed his eyes. He opened them lazily at first, then they
popped out. A madman was standing on the road before him, just a
few yards away. He couldn’t stop the car cos he was moving at a
high speed. He expertly turned the steering wheel moving the car off
the road. The car swerved beyond control, he muttered some quick
prayers, he was sure he would die. The car somersaulted throwing him
out through the window… ... Lara giggled as she bit into her roasted
chicken, she was having lunch with her in-laws. She felt joy surge
through her veins, what more could she ask for? She felt loved by
them. They were doting on her, most-especially her father in-law
Chief Ifiora. “I taught your mother in-law how to cook o.” Ifiora
chuckled at her. “well I taught him how to eat!” Amara said and they
all burst out laughing. Lara watched them as they laughed, they looked
so much alike; happy couples she thought as she smiled. “When I was a
boy, I helped my mother in the kitchen.” Ifiora said with pride. “well
that’s cos you liked it.” Amara replied. “Not at all! I was an only child
that’s why!” he defended himself. “Hmm…Tony Is an only child too, but
can’t make himself a mug of coffee.” Amara chirped cleaning her
mouth with a napkin. Lara felt shivers run down her spine at the
mention of ‘Tony’, she saw her father-in-law cringe too. “Talking
about Tony…” Ifiora’s voice became coarse. “He couldn’t even call or
do something…he’s expecting me to call him right?” he shook his head.
“I guess so!” Amara made a face. “Hmm, I’m going to teach him a
lesson he’ll never forget!” he basked like a lizard in the sun. “Lesson?
That boy is soooooo stubborn!” Amara said with disgust. Chief Ifiora’s
phone rang loudly. “A strange number…” Amara said giving the phone
to him. “Hello?” he listened for a while. “Yes you’re speaking with
Chief Ifiora…” he listened again. “What?!” he rose to his feet. Lara
stopped eating, she wanted to know what was happening. “Okay, okay,
I’m coming right away!” He ended the call. “Darling get me my
Jacket!” he told Amara. “What happened?” Lara asked quitely. “Oh,
nothing really, just eat your food.” he forced a smile. “Ogini? What
going on?” Amara appeared holding his jacket. He whispered something
to her in Igbo, for once Lara wished she understood Igbo. “We need
to go now! Lara take care!” Amara said throwing a scarf round her
head. “Can I come with you?” Lara rose to her feet. “No..you just
take care, okay? We’ll be back soon.” Amara said as she and her
husband left through the exit. Lara sighed deeply as she heard them
drive out of the compound. Definitely something is wrong some
where….she fidgeted nervously.
You need to see what happened next .. Stay tuned....
terrible, different night mares taunting him, he was awake 75
percent of the night. He ignited his car, and Lara crossed his mind. Her
beautiful eyes that widens when she’s scared was all he could see.
He’s been just wicked to her, only God knows the story she’s telling
his father now about him. He changed his gear and sped on the
highway. He knew his father won’t spare him, he would take the
company off his hand, collect all he has and worst of all disown him.
“Oh poo!” he rubbed his eyes. He opened them lazily at first, then they
popped out. A madman was standing on the road before him, just a
few yards away. He couldn’t stop the car cos he was moving at a
high speed. He expertly turned the steering wheel moving the car off
the road. The car swerved beyond control, he muttered some quick
prayers, he was sure he would die. The car somersaulted throwing him
out through the window… ... Lara giggled as she bit into her roasted
chicken, she was having lunch with her in-laws. She felt joy surge
through her veins, what more could she ask for? She felt loved by
them. They were doting on her, most-especially her father in-law
Chief Ifiora. “I taught your mother in-law how to cook o.” Ifiora
chuckled at her. “well I taught him how to eat!” Amara said and they
all burst out laughing. Lara watched them as they laughed, they looked
so much alike; happy couples she thought as she smiled. “When I was a
boy, I helped my mother in the kitchen.” Ifiora said with pride. “well
that’s cos you liked it.” Amara replied. “Not at all! I was an only child
that’s why!” he defended himself. “Hmm…Tony Is an only child too, but
can’t make himself a mug of coffee.” Amara chirped cleaning her
mouth with a napkin. Lara felt shivers run down her spine at the
mention of ‘Tony’, she saw her father-in-law cringe too. “Talking
about Tony…” Ifiora’s voice became coarse. “He couldn’t even call or
do something…he’s expecting me to call him right?” he shook his head.
“I guess so!” Amara made a face. “Hmm, I’m going to teach him a
lesson he’ll never forget!” he basked like a lizard in the sun. “Lesson?
That boy is soooooo stubborn!” Amara said with disgust. Chief Ifiora’s
phone rang loudly. “A strange number…” Amara said giving the phone
to him. “Hello?” he listened for a while. “Yes you’re speaking with
Chief Ifiora…” he listened again. “What?!” he rose to his feet. Lara
stopped eating, she wanted to know what was happening. “Okay, okay,
I’m coming right away!” He ended the call. “Darling get me my
Jacket!” he told Amara. “What happened?” Lara asked quitely. “Oh,
nothing really, just eat your food.” he forced a smile. “Ogini? What
going on?” Amara appeared holding his jacket. He whispered something
to her in Igbo, for once Lara wished she understood Igbo. “We need
to go now! Lara take care!” Amara said throwing a scarf round her
head. “Can I come with you?” Lara rose to her feet. “No..you just
take care, okay? We’ll be back soon.” Amara said as she and her
husband left through the exit. Lara sighed deeply as she heard them
drive out of the compound. Definitely something is wrong some
where….she fidgeted nervously.
You need to see what happened next .. Stay tuned....
MY HUSBAND AND I (Part 6)
“Thank you” Lara said giving some naira notes to a cab driver. She
took a deep breathe, and glanced around her. The magnificent church
was standing before her. She had brought her case to God. She
wondered if God would listen to her again. The last time she came to
church was when her father was alive, she was ten years then…
“Good morning sir” she greeted a man in security uniform. “Please is
the Resident Pastor around?” “Yes, let me tell him you want to see
him.” the security man replied before speaking into a telecom. “he said
you should come in.” “Thank you sir!” Lara said before walking towards
the church basement. She muttered a silent prayer before knocking.
“Come in.” pastor Wilson said from within “Good morning Pastor
Wilson.” she flexed her knee. “Morning sister…please sit!” Lara sat on a
chair facing him, clutching at her hand bag. “You came to see me?”
Pastor Wilson asked. “Yes pastor, My name is Omolara Popoola..” Lara
began. “Omolara Popoola? You mean Lara the daughter of late Deacon
Popoola?” Pastor Wilson asked in surprise. “Yes sir.” Lara smiled.
“Wow…how are you? How have you been?” he looked pleased. “Fine
sir…” “God is great! You’re married now?” he gestured at her wedding
band. “Yes sir,…that’s why I came…” “Is anything the matter?”
Pastor Wilson sensed all is not well. Lara told him about her troubles,
shedding tears in the process. He looked touched by her story. “Its
well, God is with you.” he told her. After praying with her, he gave
her some Bible verses to read, before asking her to fast for just a
day. “Sister Lara, If you must fast; your faith in God would determine
how your answer will be.” he told her. “I have faith Pastor.” Lara
assured him. “Not just in the mouth but from the heart…and mind
you, you must go back to your matrimonial home!” he told her. “No…
But…” she frowned. “You must go back there!” he said firmly. “Okay,
thank you…” she didn’t look happy. “Take care Lara, God is with you.”
he waved her off. ... Lara walked into her home, she felt nervous
when she walked into the sitting room. “I thought you ain't gonna
come back.” Sophia sneered. “I’m back!” Lara said, before walking into
her room. She’s got no time to start quarrelling with Sophia now, its
almost time for her to break her fast. She was in a kneeling position,
rounding up her prayers when she heard a commotion in the sitting
room. She paused absent mindedly to listen…Sophia was quarrelling
with somebody… perhaps Tony. She ended her prayer in a hurry and
tiptoed out of her room. What she saw made her jaw drop. “You have
no right to ask me who i’m looking for!” Amara- Tony’s mother shot at
Sophia. “You can’t walk in like that! This isn’t your home!” Sophia fired
back. Just then Amara noticed Lara’s presence. “Lara?” “Welcome
ma.” Lara greeted her. “Who’s this uncultured woman? Your maid?”
she gestured towards Sophia. “Errrm..”Lara began. “Sophia, meet …
ermm..Tony's mother, and errmmm, ma please meet, Sophia- Tony’s
errmm…” Lara stuttered. “So it is true?!” Amara exclaimed. Just then
Tony came back from wherever he went. “Mum? What are you doing
here?” he asked surprised letting his briefcase drop. “What am I doing
here? So what I heard is true? So its true that you’ve been
maltreating Lara? That you even brought your mistress into your
matrimonial home?” Amara shrieked. Tony bent his head, he knew he
was in trouble. “So this is what you’ve turned into? A Dog?” Amara
yelled. “I know what to do…I’m calling your father right away!” She
threatened picking her phone. “No no no..please mum, don’t do that…
I’d be in trouble if you call dad…Sophia is leaving right away..I’l turn
a new leaf…” Tony held her hand pleadingly. He walked into the guest
room, appeared carrying Sophia’s bag. “Sophia, leave now!” he shoved
the dumbfounded Sophia towards the exit. “You too, go and bring your
bag, you’re coming with me!” Amara told Lara who was silent. “But…
ma…” Lara’s eyes widened. “I say go and bring your bag, I can’t
leave you here with this beast! What if he murders you!” Amara
shrieked. “Mum..please don’t take her away.” Tony pleaded. “Try to
stop me!” she glared at him, dragging Lara out of the house; with her
bag and all...
took a deep breathe, and glanced around her. The magnificent church
was standing before her. She had brought her case to God. She
wondered if God would listen to her again. The last time she came to
church was when her father was alive, she was ten years then…
“Good morning sir” she greeted a man in security uniform. “Please is
the Resident Pastor around?” “Yes, let me tell him you want to see
him.” the security man replied before speaking into a telecom. “he said
you should come in.” “Thank you sir!” Lara said before walking towards
the church basement. She muttered a silent prayer before knocking.
“Come in.” pastor Wilson said from within “Good morning Pastor
Wilson.” she flexed her knee. “Morning sister…please sit!” Lara sat on a
chair facing him, clutching at her hand bag. “You came to see me?”
Pastor Wilson asked. “Yes pastor, My name is Omolara Popoola..” Lara
began. “Omolara Popoola? You mean Lara the daughter of late Deacon
Popoola?” Pastor Wilson asked in surprise. “Yes sir.” Lara smiled.
“Wow…how are you? How have you been?” he looked pleased. “Fine
sir…” “God is great! You’re married now?” he gestured at her wedding
band. “Yes sir,…that’s why I came…” “Is anything the matter?”
Pastor Wilson sensed all is not well. Lara told him about her troubles,
shedding tears in the process. He looked touched by her story. “Its
well, God is with you.” he told her. After praying with her, he gave
her some Bible verses to read, before asking her to fast for just a
day. “Sister Lara, If you must fast; your faith in God would determine
how your answer will be.” he told her. “I have faith Pastor.” Lara
assured him. “Not just in the mouth but from the heart…and mind
you, you must go back to your matrimonial home!” he told her. “No…
But…” she frowned. “You must go back there!” he said firmly. “Okay,
thank you…” she didn’t look happy. “Take care Lara, God is with you.”
he waved her off. ... Lara walked into her home, she felt nervous
when she walked into the sitting room. “I thought you ain't gonna
come back.” Sophia sneered. “I’m back!” Lara said, before walking into
her room. She’s got no time to start quarrelling with Sophia now, its
almost time for her to break her fast. She was in a kneeling position,
rounding up her prayers when she heard a commotion in the sitting
room. She paused absent mindedly to listen…Sophia was quarrelling
with somebody… perhaps Tony. She ended her prayer in a hurry and
tiptoed out of her room. What she saw made her jaw drop. “You have
no right to ask me who i’m looking for!” Amara- Tony’s mother shot at
Sophia. “You can’t walk in like that! This isn’t your home!” Sophia fired
back. Just then Amara noticed Lara’s presence. “Lara?” “Welcome
ma.” Lara greeted her. “Who’s this uncultured woman? Your maid?”
she gestured towards Sophia. “Errrm..”Lara began. “Sophia, meet …
ermm..Tony's mother, and errmmm, ma please meet, Sophia- Tony’s
errmm…” Lara stuttered. “So it is true?!” Amara exclaimed. Just then
Tony came back from wherever he went. “Mum? What are you doing
here?” he asked surprised letting his briefcase drop. “What am I doing
here? So what I heard is true? So its true that you’ve been
maltreating Lara? That you even brought your mistress into your
matrimonial home?” Amara shrieked. Tony bent his head, he knew he
was in trouble. “So this is what you’ve turned into? A Dog?” Amara
yelled. “I know what to do…I’m calling your father right away!” She
threatened picking her phone. “No no no..please mum, don’t do that…
I’d be in trouble if you call dad…Sophia is leaving right away..I’l turn
a new leaf…” Tony held her hand pleadingly. He walked into the guest
room, appeared carrying Sophia’s bag. “Sophia, leave now!” he shoved
the dumbfounded Sophia towards the exit. “You too, go and bring your
bag, you’re coming with me!” Amara told Lara who was silent. “But…
ma…” Lara’s eyes widened. “I say go and bring your bag, I can’t
leave you here with this beast! What if he murders you!” Amara
shrieked. “Mum..please don’t take her away.” Tony pleaded. “Try to
stop me!” she glared at him, dragging Lara out of the house; with her
bag and all...
MY HUSBAND AND I (PART 5).
Haaaa! Are you kidding me?” Deji screamed at her sobbing friend.
“Dear friend that’s my story..” Lara wiped a tear “oh Lara you are too
soft…she’s been in this house for weeks now, and you can’t throw
her out?” Deji squealed. “I think she has come to stay…” Lara began
to say. “Come to stay for where? Lara don’t just provoke me o! I
wonder why I wasn’t in town all this while…” Deji bit her finger.
Just then Sophia walked lazily into the sitting room, she cat walked
towards the fridge. “Errm…Lara?” Sophia called out sipping from a
bottle of yoghurt. “Ma?” Lara said rising to her feet, to the surprise
of Deji. “Isn’t it high time you prepare lunch? I’m starving.” Sophia
added authoritatively. “Okay ma, Let me…” Lara began to say. “Shut
up!” Deji cut her short. “Who is your ‘ma’ ? This ingrate? This monster
with a face of a donkey?” Deji chided her. “Who are you referring
to?” Sophia dropped her bottle. “You!” Deji replied rising up. ” you are
the donkey! Oshi! Witch! I wonder what’s wrong with this Igbo
woman! Husband snatcher!” Deji added with her hands akimbo. “Deji
please don’t!” Lara tried to stop her. “Leave me jor! Abi she jazz you
ni? Imagine this vegetable eating Igbo claiming oyinbo! Olori buru ku!”
Deji body shook as she spoke. “You don’t dare insult me!” Sophia glared
at her. “Insult ke! I’ll beat you ni! Rubbish!” Deji pushed Sophia
roughly. Wham! Sophia slapped Deji. “Deji…” Lara was alarmed. “Haaaa!
Yeeee! You slapped me? You dey form Igbo geh abi? I go show you
say I no be Yoruba geh for nothing!” Deji screamed before grabbing
Sophia from her feet. They engaged in a scuffle, Deji sitting atop
Sophia feeding her with punches and slaps. “Deji please…” Lara was
very frightened. “Deji to ri Olorun, please stop!” she finally pulled Deji
off Sophia. “Allow me jor! Lemme show this Donkey!” Deji charged at
Sophia again. “No No No! Deji don’t!” Lara pushed her friend into a
sofa, giving Sophia the opportunity to run into the guest room. “You
have to go now!” Lara led the fuming Deji towards the exit. “Are
driving me away?” “No…I don’t want Tony to meet you here…please,
I can handle it..” Lara pushed her forward. “Ehen the Tony sef! Let
him come na, lemme teach him his own lesson!” Deji ranted. “Noooo, just
go please! For my sake!” Lara pleaded with her. “Okay! If anything
should happen, call me! You hear?” Deji ordered. “Yes, bye!” Lara
rushed to her room. She sat down at her bed’s edge. She knew she
was in hot soup. Tony won’t spare her. ... Lara supported her aching
head with her hands, she was far far away in the land of thought’s
and imaginations. “Lara!” Yikes! Tony is back! When did he come back,
she must have thought deep! “Lara!” Tony called out again. “Sir?” she
walked out of her room, her legs were weak, her heart pounding
furiously. “Welcome!” she flexed her knee “What did you do to her?”
Tony gestured towards Sophia who was weeping profusely. Lara’s heart
missed uncountable beats, her eyes widened in terror “I…I…I….d…
did…not..did…” she began to stammer. A resounding slap landed on her
right cheek, making her mouth to twist, She saw stars “You are really
proving to be stubborn! This illiterate girl!” Tony ranted as he pulled a
cable off the TV set. Lara backed away on sighting the wire he was
holding. “Come back here!” Tony ordered She didn’t obey, instead she
stood by the wall staring him wide eyed. “Okay then, let me come to
you!” Tony walked towards her, his eyes were bloodshot. Lara shut her
eyes tightly, as the cable landed on her arm. She didn’t wince or let
out a cry, she just stood there absorbing all the pains. She walked
quietly into her room after Tony had let her go. She poured some cold
water on her head, she thought it was on fire. She looked up at her
reflection in the mirror. Her right eye was swollen and red, tiny lines
of blood streaked through the corner of her lips. She let her tears
flow freely, she wished her mother would be here to watch what
she’s going through.
....to be continued....
“Dear friend that’s my story..” Lara wiped a tear “oh Lara you are too
soft…she’s been in this house for weeks now, and you can’t throw
her out?” Deji squealed. “I think she has come to stay…” Lara began
to say. “Come to stay for where? Lara don’t just provoke me o! I
wonder why I wasn’t in town all this while…” Deji bit her finger.
Just then Sophia walked lazily into the sitting room, she cat walked
towards the fridge. “Errm…Lara?” Sophia called out sipping from a
bottle of yoghurt. “Ma?” Lara said rising to her feet, to the surprise
of Deji. “Isn’t it high time you prepare lunch? I’m starving.” Sophia
added authoritatively. “Okay ma, Let me…” Lara began to say. “Shut
up!” Deji cut her short. “Who is your ‘ma’ ? This ingrate? This monster
with a face of a donkey?” Deji chided her. “Who are you referring
to?” Sophia dropped her bottle. “You!” Deji replied rising up. ” you are
the donkey! Oshi! Witch! I wonder what’s wrong with this Igbo
woman! Husband snatcher!” Deji added with her hands akimbo. “Deji
please don’t!” Lara tried to stop her. “Leave me jor! Abi she jazz you
ni? Imagine this vegetable eating Igbo claiming oyinbo! Olori buru ku!”
Deji body shook as she spoke. “You don’t dare insult me!” Sophia glared
at her. “Insult ke! I’ll beat you ni! Rubbish!” Deji pushed Sophia
roughly. Wham! Sophia slapped Deji. “Deji…” Lara was alarmed. “Haaaa!
Yeeee! You slapped me? You dey form Igbo geh abi? I go show you
say I no be Yoruba geh for nothing!” Deji screamed before grabbing
Sophia from her feet. They engaged in a scuffle, Deji sitting atop
Sophia feeding her with punches and slaps. “Deji please…” Lara was
very frightened. “Deji to ri Olorun, please stop!” she finally pulled Deji
off Sophia. “Allow me jor! Lemme show this Donkey!” Deji charged at
Sophia again. “No No No! Deji don’t!” Lara pushed her friend into a
sofa, giving Sophia the opportunity to run into the guest room. “You
have to go now!” Lara led the fuming Deji towards the exit. “Are
driving me away?” “No…I don’t want Tony to meet you here…please,
I can handle it..” Lara pushed her forward. “Ehen the Tony sef! Let
him come na, lemme teach him his own lesson!” Deji ranted. “Noooo, just
go please! For my sake!” Lara pleaded with her. “Okay! If anything
should happen, call me! You hear?” Deji ordered. “Yes, bye!” Lara
rushed to her room. She sat down at her bed’s edge. She knew she
was in hot soup. Tony won’t spare her. ... Lara supported her aching
head with her hands, she was far far away in the land of thought’s
and imaginations. “Lara!” Yikes! Tony is back! When did he come back,
she must have thought deep! “Lara!” Tony called out again. “Sir?” she
walked out of her room, her legs were weak, her heart pounding
furiously. “Welcome!” she flexed her knee “What did you do to her?”
Tony gestured towards Sophia who was weeping profusely. Lara’s heart
missed uncountable beats, her eyes widened in terror “I…I…I….d…
did…not..did…” she began to stammer. A resounding slap landed on her
right cheek, making her mouth to twist, She saw stars “You are really
proving to be stubborn! This illiterate girl!” Tony ranted as he pulled a
cable off the TV set. Lara backed away on sighting the wire he was
holding. “Come back here!” Tony ordered She didn’t obey, instead she
stood by the wall staring him wide eyed. “Okay then, let me come to
you!” Tony walked towards her, his eyes were bloodshot. Lara shut her
eyes tightly, as the cable landed on her arm. She didn’t wince or let
out a cry, she just stood there absorbing all the pains. She walked
quietly into her room after Tony had let her go. She poured some cold
water on her head, she thought it was on fire. She looked up at her
reflection in the mirror. Her right eye was swollen and red, tiny lines
of blood streaked through the corner of her lips. She let her tears
flow freely, she wished her mother would be here to watch what
she’s going through.
....to be continued....
MY HUSBAND AND I (Part 4)
“5 am!” Lara said as she rolled on her bed. She had been sleepless all
night. She pulled her Bible, read some Psalms before saying some
prayers of appreciation to her creator.
She washed her face, and walked slowly out of her room. She decided
to make breakfast early, so that by the time ‘the devil’ will wake-up,
she would be safe away in her room.
She walked past the guest room, Soft moans escaped the door. She
stopped momentarily and listened some more.
Where’s Tony? She tip-toed into his room. It was empty, no sign like
someone slept there last night.
She felt like mad as she rushed back to the guest room..
She heard Sophia giggling.. David’s grunts were audible now..
Yikes! He was making love to her, right inside their matrimonial home?
She tapped the door sharply, the whole place fell silent. She knocked
some more before Tony opened the door.
Their eyes met, she held his gaze for a while before looking him all
over. He was unclad except for the towel tied loosely round his waist.
“Tony?” she gasped.
He didn’t look at her.
He looked like he was making up his mind to do something.
“Tony you!” her voice shook.
“What do you want?” he cleared his throat.
“Honey, I’m waiting…” Sophia called from the room.
“What do I want? Tony are you supposed to be doing this?” Lara
asked in fierce whisper.
“It’s none of your business!” he snapped.
“True! ” she swallowed hard.
“Mind you, don’t ever come knocking this door again!” he warned
sternly.
“Okay…” she shook her head turning to leave.
“But Tony? Have it in mind that my God will judge you…if not today…
it’ll be tomorrow!” she told him before running back to her room with
tears running down her cheeks.
aww....what a pity!....
Watch out for part 5..
night. She pulled her Bible, read some Psalms before saying some
prayers of appreciation to her creator.
She washed her face, and walked slowly out of her room. She decided
to make breakfast early, so that by the time ‘the devil’ will wake-up,
she would be safe away in her room.
She walked past the guest room, Soft moans escaped the door. She
stopped momentarily and listened some more.
Where’s Tony? She tip-toed into his room. It was empty, no sign like
someone slept there last night.
She felt like mad as she rushed back to the guest room..
She heard Sophia giggling.. David’s grunts were audible now..
Yikes! He was making love to her, right inside their matrimonial home?
She tapped the door sharply, the whole place fell silent. She knocked
some more before Tony opened the door.
Their eyes met, she held his gaze for a while before looking him all
over. He was unclad except for the towel tied loosely round his waist.
“Tony?” she gasped.
He didn’t look at her.
He looked like he was making up his mind to do something.
“Tony you!” her voice shook.
“What do you want?” he cleared his throat.
“Honey, I’m waiting…” Sophia called from the room.
“What do I want? Tony are you supposed to be doing this?” Lara
asked in fierce whisper.
“It’s none of your business!” he snapped.
“True! ” she swallowed hard.
“Mind you, don’t ever come knocking this door again!” he warned
sternly.
“Okay…” she shook her head turning to leave.
“But Tony? Have it in mind that my God will judge you…if not today…
it’ll be tomorrow!” she told him before running back to her room with
tears running down her cheeks.
aww....what a pity!....
Watch out for part 5..
MY HUSBAND AND I (Part 3)
Lara’s phone rang waking her up rudely from her nap. She squinted at
her phone’s screen-
‘Mummy’ was all she could see.
“Hello?” she said in a sleepy voice.
“Iwo omo buruku yi, what on earth is your problem?” Funke -her
mother screamed into her ears.
“Mummy, is anything the problem?” she rubbed her eyes.
“Nonsense!” came her mother’s reply.
“People use what they have to get what they want in life, is anything
wrong if I give my only daughter out to a rich family?” She sounded
aggressive.
Lara glanced at her phone screen again in terror, before placing it
back to her ear.
“Mummy, If I did something wrong, just tell me…” she began to say
softly.
“Do I need to remind you of your deeds? You’ve become disrespectful,
you no longer cook for your husband, you’re even threatening to leave
your matrimonial home!” her mother queried.
“But..mum…”
“No buts, so gbo? Rubbish! And let me remind you, don’t just come to
my house if your husband divorces you due to your stubbornness.” her
mother shouted again.
Lara bit her lower lip.
“Mum….”
the line went dead.
She stared at her phone in silence, what kind of life is this? Tony had
told her mother fake stories about her. How can her mother be this
selfish? She pondered.
“Hello…” Tony intoned behind her.
She turned sharply, her eyes widened, how did he get there?
“So are you ready to turn a new leaf?” he wore a mischievous smile.
She pursed her lips, fidgeting at her dress.
“Go make me a mug of choco.” he ordered walking out of her room.
She swallowed hard, she felt her heart split. She ran her fingers
gently on her chest.
“It’s well, I’ll survive, somehow, anyhow, one day, it’ll be over.” she
whispered to herself as she fought to keep back tears.
...
Lara wiped her hands on her apron, she pushed the flask of food
away from her, before proceeding to peel some plantains.
Tony had called her earlier, to make a meal for two, as he was
bringing a guest home.
Whoever the guest was? She shrugged.
She began setting the table when the door bell rang, she rushed to
open it.
“Welcome” she said as Tony brushed past her.
She turned to look at the guest, she almost mistook the guest to be a
male.
“Good day.” Lara said softly.
The guest was wearing a trouser suit, she was masculine, her hair cut
very low. If not for the earrings, she could be called a male.
“Hy,” the guest said coldly.
“Errm, Sophy, have a seat, make yourself comfortable..” Tony began to
say.
“Not so fast, won’t you introduce me to her?” the guest said with a
low laugh.
“Well…okay…, Sophy, meet my Illiterate wife- Lara, errrm, Lara meet
my cutie pie-Sophia.” he chuckled.
Sophia laughed out loud.
“Well Lara, I’ve heard a lot about you…” she extended her hand for a
shake.
Lara shook her head in pain, she didn’t take Sophia's hand. She began
counting her toes.
“Errm, Sophy darling, lets proceed to the dining area, I believe she
should have set the table by now .” Tony led Sophia towards the
dinning room..
Lara watched them from the corner of her eyes, her eyes stung her
as tears rolled down her cheeks.
“Hmm, she cooks well…” Sophia said eating in mouth fulls.
“Oh yes! And that’s the main reason I’m still keeping her, else, she
should be in her parents house by now” Tony said loudly.
“Oh Sweerie, that was too rude…” Sophia laughed.
Lara walked lightly into her room, she went on her knees. Is this
real? She thought.
She felt she needed to talk to somebody. Her mum was out of
question, Deji isn’t in town for now. She decide to pray, though she
doesn’t believe in prayers.
“God…” she looked towards heaven.
“I know you can see all that’s happening, do I deserve such
treatments?” she sniffed.
“I have no one to talk to, nowhere to go…you are all I have now…
my father is no more…” she sobbed.
“I heard you are a father to the fatherless, don’t forsake me
O'Lord….help me dear father….” her body shook with sobs.
She laid on the hard floor, she liked its coldness, it gave her some sort
of comfort.
Tony isn’t a human being…she thought. He is either a beast or the
devil himself. He dared bring his mistress into their home…he knew
there’s nothihng she could do.
her phone’s screen-
‘Mummy’ was all she could see.
“Hello?” she said in a sleepy voice.
“Iwo omo buruku yi, what on earth is your problem?” Funke -her
mother screamed into her ears.
“Mummy, is anything the problem?” she rubbed her eyes.
“Nonsense!” came her mother’s reply.
“People use what they have to get what they want in life, is anything
wrong if I give my only daughter out to a rich family?” She sounded
aggressive.
Lara glanced at her phone screen again in terror, before placing it
back to her ear.
“Mummy, If I did something wrong, just tell me…” she began to say
softly.
“Do I need to remind you of your deeds? You’ve become disrespectful,
you no longer cook for your husband, you’re even threatening to leave
your matrimonial home!” her mother queried.
“But..mum…”
“No buts, so gbo? Rubbish! And let me remind you, don’t just come to
my house if your husband divorces you due to your stubbornness.” her
mother shouted again.
Lara bit her lower lip.
“Mum….”
the line went dead.
She stared at her phone in silence, what kind of life is this? Tony had
told her mother fake stories about her. How can her mother be this
selfish? She pondered.
“Hello…” Tony intoned behind her.
She turned sharply, her eyes widened, how did he get there?
“So are you ready to turn a new leaf?” he wore a mischievous smile.
She pursed her lips, fidgeting at her dress.
“Go make me a mug of choco.” he ordered walking out of her room.
She swallowed hard, she felt her heart split. She ran her fingers
gently on her chest.
“It’s well, I’ll survive, somehow, anyhow, one day, it’ll be over.” she
whispered to herself as she fought to keep back tears.
...
Lara wiped her hands on her apron, she pushed the flask of food
away from her, before proceeding to peel some plantains.
Tony had called her earlier, to make a meal for two, as he was
bringing a guest home.
Whoever the guest was? She shrugged.
She began setting the table when the door bell rang, she rushed to
open it.
“Welcome” she said as Tony brushed past her.
She turned to look at the guest, she almost mistook the guest to be a
male.
“Good day.” Lara said softly.
The guest was wearing a trouser suit, she was masculine, her hair cut
very low. If not for the earrings, she could be called a male.
“Hy,” the guest said coldly.
“Errm, Sophy, have a seat, make yourself comfortable..” Tony began to
say.
“Not so fast, won’t you introduce me to her?” the guest said with a
low laugh.
“Well…okay…, Sophy, meet my Illiterate wife- Lara, errrm, Lara meet
my cutie pie-Sophia.” he chuckled.
Sophia laughed out loud.
“Well Lara, I’ve heard a lot about you…” she extended her hand for a
shake.
Lara shook her head in pain, she didn’t take Sophia's hand. She began
counting her toes.
“Errm, Sophy darling, lets proceed to the dining area, I believe she
should have set the table by now .” Tony led Sophia towards the
dinning room..
Lara watched them from the corner of her eyes, her eyes stung her
as tears rolled down her cheeks.
“Hmm, she cooks well…” Sophia said eating in mouth fulls.
“Oh yes! And that’s the main reason I’m still keeping her, else, she
should be in her parents house by now” Tony said loudly.
“Oh Sweerie, that was too rude…” Sophia laughed.
Lara walked lightly into her room, she went on her knees. Is this
real? She thought.
She felt she needed to talk to somebody. Her mum was out of
question, Deji isn’t in town for now. She decide to pray, though she
doesn’t believe in prayers.
“God…” she looked towards heaven.
“I know you can see all that’s happening, do I deserve such
treatments?” she sniffed.
“I have no one to talk to, nowhere to go…you are all I have now…
my father is no more…” she sobbed.
“I heard you are a father to the fatherless, don’t forsake me
O'Lord….help me dear father….” her body shook with sobs.
She laid on the hard floor, she liked its coldness, it gave her some sort
of comfort.
Tony isn’t a human being…she thought. He is either a beast or the
devil himself. He dared bring his mistress into their home…he knew
there’s nothihng she could do.
MY HUSBAND AND I (Part 2)
Lara sprayed some perfume on her skippy nightie, she walked to her mirror again.
“Hmm yummy! Plan number four on point!” she laughed before proceeding to Tony’s room.
She opened the door gently, she peeped first before walking into the room.
Tony was lying down on the kingsized bed, the covers were drawn half-way stoping at his waist. His chest was bare revealing his ‘Six-packs’ features. She craved to touch, but that isn’t on her list.
She came here to discuss something important-theirmarriage.
She crawled beside him, his breathing was slow and steady.
So this man can sleep?! She thought.
She shifted closer to him, how would she wake him up? She felt like a rat trying to bell a cat.
She touched his arm slightly and…
Tony’s eyes shot open, his face transformed into a scowl.
“Sorry to disturb you…” Lara said in a shaky voice.
“What do you want?” he growled
Lara’s lips moved but no words came
“Damn it!” he sat up.
“Can’t I sleep again? Can’t you gerrit into your brain that I need to rest? This illiterate girl is something else! Is s-ex a necessity?” he yelled at her.
“No..I..was ..was…was..just…” Lara moved away from him terrified.
“Get outta my sight!” he barked at her.
Lara scampered out of the room full of fear and hate, she threw her self on her bed and wept.
What would she do? She had tried all she can? Besides its not that she’s interested in the marriage too, but she had to do this for her mother.
He called her an illiterate! She sobbed some more.
She was definitely going to show him, Illiterates can go crazy to! She wiped her tears, wishing for sleep to come.
...
The sun rays bathed her room. She glanced at the wall-clock, 7:30 am.
She stretched lazily on her bed. She had her plans on mind, no more cooking till further notice.
“Lara!” Tony banged her door.
Devil! She hissed pulling the blanket over her head.
“Lara!!” Tony banged some more, louder.
“Nonsense, are you hungry?” She hissed again.
“Lara?” Tony said walking into the room.
She didn’t move, she remained motionless on her bed.
“Lara!” he shook her roughly.
“Uhm? Uhm? What is it?” she muttered pretending to be just waking up.
He pointed at the wall clock. Her eyes followed his hand, then back at his face.
“Ehen? So?” she asked with a frown.
Tony felt like squeezing her lips
“Are you daft or something? Don’t you know I’m running late for work? Where’s my breakfast?” his voice was fierce.
“Illiterates don’t know how to cook!” She quipped, lying back on her bed.
David glared at her, his eyes bloodshot
He pulled off the bed angrily, throwing her on the hard floor.
Lara shrieked in pain, she stood up to face him.
“where’s my breakfast?” he barked
“I’m fed up Tony! Did you hear me? I won’t cook in this house anymore! Go and get a girl with masters degree to cook for you!” She screamed at him.
He charged at her, she didn’t move, she just stood there rooted.
He stoped facing her, he brought his face close to hers
“If you don’t cook in this house, then you should be ready to go back to your parents!” he told her.
“Hehehehe! Wonder shall never end!” she clapped her hands eyeing him derisively.
“This is an opportunity I’ve been waiting for..” she laughed.
“Really?” he sneered
“Yes o! Wait and see If I will not leave! Do you think you are the only man in the world?” she told him.
Lara flung her wardrobe open, and started throwing some clothes into a bag. She started singing loudly.
“I’m coming home, I’m coming home, tell the world I’m coming home…”
Tony watched her for a while, before leaving the room. He chuckled as he walked to his car.
This girl is crazy! He thought.
He had to stop her from leaving, he suddenly felt he had a soft spot for her.
“my oga, good moni!” Adamu- the gateman greeted him as he drove out.
He beckoned to Adamu, who walked up to him smiling.
“Errm, Adamu, do not let Lara out of the house. Make sure you lock the gate properly. Gerrit?”
“Yes my oga!” Adamu waved at him.
At least, he would stop her from leaving! Tony thought quietly as he drove away.
. Watch out for part 3...
“Hmm yummy! Plan number four on point!” she laughed before proceeding to Tony’s room.
She opened the door gently, she peeped first before walking into the room.
Tony was lying down on the kingsized bed, the covers were drawn half-way stoping at his waist. His chest was bare revealing his ‘Six-packs’ features. She craved to touch, but that isn’t on her list.
She came here to discuss something important-theirmarriage.
She crawled beside him, his breathing was slow and steady.
So this man can sleep?! She thought.
She shifted closer to him, how would she wake him up? She felt like a rat trying to bell a cat.
She touched his arm slightly and…
Tony’s eyes shot open, his face transformed into a scowl.
“Sorry to disturb you…” Lara said in a shaky voice.
“What do you want?” he growled
Lara’s lips moved but no words came
“Damn it!” he sat up.
“Can’t I sleep again? Can’t you gerrit into your brain that I need to rest? This illiterate girl is something else! Is s-ex a necessity?” he yelled at her.
“No..I..was ..was…was..just…” Lara moved away from him terrified.
“Get outta my sight!” he barked at her.
Lara scampered out of the room full of fear and hate, she threw her self on her bed and wept.
What would she do? She had tried all she can? Besides its not that she’s interested in the marriage too, but she had to do this for her mother.
He called her an illiterate! She sobbed some more.
She was definitely going to show him, Illiterates can go crazy to! She wiped her tears, wishing for sleep to come.
...
The sun rays bathed her room. She glanced at the wall-clock, 7:30 am.
She stretched lazily on her bed. She had her plans on mind, no more cooking till further notice.
“Lara!” Tony banged her door.
Devil! She hissed pulling the blanket over her head.
“Lara!!” Tony banged some more, louder.
“Nonsense, are you hungry?” She hissed again.
“Lara?” Tony said walking into the room.
She didn’t move, she remained motionless on her bed.
“Lara!” he shook her roughly.
“Uhm? Uhm? What is it?” she muttered pretending to be just waking up.
He pointed at the wall clock. Her eyes followed his hand, then back at his face.
“Ehen? So?” she asked with a frown.
Tony felt like squeezing her lips
“Are you daft or something? Don’t you know I’m running late for work? Where’s my breakfast?” his voice was fierce.
“Illiterates don’t know how to cook!” She quipped, lying back on her bed.
David glared at her, his eyes bloodshot
He pulled off the bed angrily, throwing her on the hard floor.
Lara shrieked in pain, she stood up to face him.
“where’s my breakfast?” he barked
“I’m fed up Tony! Did you hear me? I won’t cook in this house anymore! Go and get a girl with masters degree to cook for you!” She screamed at him.
He charged at her, she didn’t move, she just stood there rooted.
He stoped facing her, he brought his face close to hers
“If you don’t cook in this house, then you should be ready to go back to your parents!” he told her.
“Hehehehe! Wonder shall never end!” she clapped her hands eyeing him derisively.
“This is an opportunity I’ve been waiting for..” she laughed.
“Really?” he sneered
“Yes o! Wait and see If I will not leave! Do you think you are the only man in the world?” she told him.
Lara flung her wardrobe open, and started throwing some clothes into a bag. She started singing loudly.
“I’m coming home, I’m coming home, tell the world I’m coming home…”
Tony watched her for a while, before leaving the room. He chuckled as he walked to his car.
This girl is crazy! He thought.
He had to stop her from leaving, he suddenly felt he had a soft spot for her.
“my oga, good moni!” Adamu- the gateman greeted him as he drove out.
He beckoned to Adamu, who walked up to him smiling.
“Errm, Adamu, do not let Lara out of the house. Make sure you lock the gate properly. Gerrit?”
“Yes my oga!” Adamu waved at him.
At least, he would stop her from leaving! Tony thought quietly as he drove away.
. Watch out for part 3...
Thursday, 26 November 2015
MY HUSBAND AND I (PART 1)
Lara gazed at her full length at the mirror; satisfied by what she saw, she smiled to herself. She smoothened the hips of her flimsy knee length gown, she loved her hips, its one of her greatest physical asset.
“Hmmm can’t wait!” she told herself excitedly as she oiled her cornrows.
She should have fixed a weavon or plaited some braids as her friend-Deji had adviced, but she isn’t a fan of those artificial stuffs, she preferred to go natural.
“What’s lacking?” she asked her beautiful reflection. “Nothing more, just to wait for the man.” she chuckled. Tony, her husband, would be back home, after spending five good months overseas on his so called ‘business trips’.
Their marriage was barely a year, and Tony has spent more than half of it travelling. She hissed. Their’s was an arranged marriage, she had met Tony for the first time on their wedding day. She remembered how harsh he was on that day.
He had always gave excuses when it comes to making love. He had never touched her, not even a kiss… The door bell rang, interrupting her thoughts. “Yea baby! Time for action!” she said excitedly as she catwalked to the door. “Hey…welcome back home!” she said pleasantly as he walked in.
“Thank you!” Tony mumbled. She tried to hug him, but he stopped her “Please!” he raised his hands.
She swallowed hard, plan number one failed. Next plan… “Emm, why don’t you take a cold shower? You must be tired after such a long journey…, I’d be setting the table..so that …you can eat.” Lara said with a sweet smile. Tony ignored her, instead, he walked past her into his room. Lara followed him with her eyes. What was she gonna do, he still hates her this much. She sighed heavily sitting at the edge of a sofa.
She was lost in her thoughts when Tony’s phone rang sharply. She stared at the phone as it vibrated on the center table, she was tempted to pick it but couldn’t, Tony had warned her severally never to pick his calls.
“Hello Baby?” Tony said into the phone catching Lara’s attention. “Yea, just arrived few minutes ago.” he said again.
Lara swallowed hard. Baby? Did he just call another woman baby?
“No no no! That’s not true baby, you know I’ll miss you more.” Tony said again.
Lara rose sharply, she felt her anger rose, this was a disrespect to the highest order.
“Yea love, ama call ya later. Okay? Take care sweerie.” he cooed softly before ending the call. He turned to Lara who glaring at him. “Why don’t you get me my food, instead of you standing there like a palm tree?” he said scornfully. “Who is she?” Lara blurted out. ” ‘she isnt your business” He snapped at her. “Now move your bum into the kitchen!” he ordered.
Lara walked quitely into the kitchen, she was no longer angry but scared. She was scared of something she couldn’t fathom.
Well, she won’t give up, plan number three… “so do you like the food?” she asked as she watched Tony eat up his food in mouthfuls. “Your mum told me its your favourite dish.” she added not minding his rude silence. Tony coughed slightly, gulped down some water. “Please Lara, let me eat in peace! Do I need to choke?” his voice was harsh. “But..I…” she looked confused.
Tony rolled his eyes. “I wonder why this illiterate girl can’t just let me be!” He muttered at the Bewildered Lara.
“Can’t you gerrit that I don’t talk while eating? Didn’t your mother teach you table manners?” he asked angrily.
“I’m sorry.” Lara mumbled leaving the dinning area. Tears clouded her eyes, she looked visibly scared.
Tony watched her leave, he felt sorry for her. He shouldn’t treat her that way, he knew! But he just hated the marriage, he was forced into it by his parents. She was beautiful and lovable, but his anger has already taken over his heart. His food became tasteless, he hated to see beautiful girls cry.
....Part 2 loading. stay tuned
“Hmmm can’t wait!” she told herself excitedly as she oiled her cornrows.
She should have fixed a weavon or plaited some braids as her friend-Deji had adviced, but she isn’t a fan of those artificial stuffs, she preferred to go natural.
“What’s lacking?” she asked her beautiful reflection. “Nothing more, just to wait for the man.” she chuckled. Tony, her husband, would be back home, after spending five good months overseas on his so called ‘business trips’.
Their marriage was barely a year, and Tony has spent more than half of it travelling. She hissed. Their’s was an arranged marriage, she had met Tony for the first time on their wedding day. She remembered how harsh he was on that day.
He had always gave excuses when it comes to making love. He had never touched her, not even a kiss… The door bell rang, interrupting her thoughts. “Yea baby! Time for action!” she said excitedly as she catwalked to the door. “Hey…welcome back home!” she said pleasantly as he walked in.
“Thank you!” Tony mumbled. She tried to hug him, but he stopped her “Please!” he raised his hands.
She swallowed hard, plan number one failed. Next plan… “Emm, why don’t you take a cold shower? You must be tired after such a long journey…, I’d be setting the table..so that …you can eat.” Lara said with a sweet smile. Tony ignored her, instead, he walked past her into his room. Lara followed him with her eyes. What was she gonna do, he still hates her this much. She sighed heavily sitting at the edge of a sofa.
She was lost in her thoughts when Tony’s phone rang sharply. She stared at the phone as it vibrated on the center table, she was tempted to pick it but couldn’t, Tony had warned her severally never to pick his calls.
“Hello Baby?” Tony said into the phone catching Lara’s attention. “Yea, just arrived few minutes ago.” he said again.
Lara swallowed hard. Baby? Did he just call another woman baby?
“No no no! That’s not true baby, you know I’ll miss you more.” Tony said again.
Lara rose sharply, she felt her anger rose, this was a disrespect to the highest order.
“Yea love, ama call ya later. Okay? Take care sweerie.” he cooed softly before ending the call. He turned to Lara who glaring at him. “Why don’t you get me my food, instead of you standing there like a palm tree?” he said scornfully. “Who is she?” Lara blurted out. ” ‘she isnt your business” He snapped at her. “Now move your bum into the kitchen!” he ordered.
Lara walked quitely into the kitchen, she was no longer angry but scared. She was scared of something she couldn’t fathom.
Well, she won’t give up, plan number three… “so do you like the food?” she asked as she watched Tony eat up his food in mouthfuls. “Your mum told me its your favourite dish.” she added not minding his rude silence. Tony coughed slightly, gulped down some water. “Please Lara, let me eat in peace! Do I need to choke?” his voice was harsh. “But..I…” she looked confused.
Tony rolled his eyes. “I wonder why this illiterate girl can’t just let me be!” He muttered at the Bewildered Lara.
“Can’t you gerrit that I don’t talk while eating? Didn’t your mother teach you table manners?” he asked angrily.
“I’m sorry.” Lara mumbled leaving the dinning area. Tears clouded her eyes, she looked visibly scared.
Tony watched her leave, he felt sorry for her. He shouldn’t treat her that way, he knew! But he just hated the marriage, he was forced into it by his parents. She was beautiful and lovable, but his anger has already taken over his heart. His food became tasteless, he hated to see beautiful girls cry.
....Part 2 loading. stay tuned
Wednesday, 25 November 2015
WEALTH CREATION : MONEY IS NOT THE GOAL!!!
One of the key concepts to creating wealth is to understand that money is not the goal. That's right, I said, money is not the goal.
Frequently people will tell me that they want to make money. However, I know it is not money they are really after. It is the things that money can buy and the freedom of time to do what they really want. While
you may think this is an insignificant difference, it is actually the reason
so many people never become wealthy. Most of us were taught throughout our childhood that the whole point of making money is to sock it away and build our own 'nest egg'. We think of this as a type of insurance against bad fortune, accidents or old age when we can no longer work.
The wealthy know that money only works when it is in motion - not when it's sitting in a bank account. You must understand that wealth is an ongoing journey of growth and
circulation and if that circulation is stopped, then the flow of money will cease.
While it may seem that there are many roadblocks on your journey to wealth, the only real obstacle is what you believe, think, and feel about money. Most of us were raised with the cliché "Seeing is Believing" which is a skeptical and negative view of life. Still, we hear it our whole
lives until it becomes a part of our thought process without our even realizing it.
Wealthy people understand that this cliché is exactly backward - you must believe in what you can achieve before you will see it happen in your life. They know that "Believing is Seeing." The only thing that separates a millionaire from you right now is a wealthy mindset and the foundation of that mindset is belief. Does this mean that the wealthy have some special skill or knowledge? No - but they do possess some key characteristics that help them become
wealthy. The first of these characteristics is a willingness to listen to their own heart. If you could become wealthy by listening to the masses, then the masses would be wealthy and they are not.
It is a natural tendency to ask the opinions of those we love or respect. Unfortunately, we listen to their comments and biases not taking into account the results in their own lives. We make a decision to listen based on our emotional attachment rather than by looking at what they have achieved. How can anyone who has not accumulated wealth advise you on how to do it?
They can't. A second characteristic of the wealthy is the ability to act when
opportunities present themselves. Opportunity is often imagined to be
something that you can't miss or pass up. However, I know from personal experience that opportunity is often only a whisper that comes during some of the most trying times of life. If you read the life stories
of very wealthy and successful people, you will frequently find they were fired from jobs, kicked out of school or dealt with significant personal tragedies that other people would view as devastating. Instead,
they viewed the challenges as opportunities and prospered.
The wealthy also understand that wealth is an ongoing process. It is not a destination you arrive at one day and then stop. It is also rarely accomplished overnight - although it can occur in a short period of time. However, if you gain wealth before you have gained a wealthy mindset then you are in danger of losing that wealth forever. We have all heard of those that win the lottery only to be near penniless a few years later. Since they were never taught to think wealthy, they have very little chance of achieving wealth that lasts and ultimately they lose what money they have.
Those with a wealthy mindset do what they love - and make money at it. Often I see individuals who are seeking wealth like it's something outside that they have to search for. In reality, wealth exists within you. You have activities and hobbies that you love and you can make these into your business if you choose to. Those who are successful and create a great deal of wealth do so because they are doing something they love. The money follows and is just a logical result of them realizing their dream. Money is not the dream. Whether you grow up in the worst circumstance or have every
advantage, you have the exact same potential inside of you to create the life you want. No matter how many times you read or hear someone talk about how to become wealthy, your life will never change until you believe that it can - Believing is Seeing.
See you at the top!!!
Frequently people will tell me that they want to make money. However, I know it is not money they are really after. It is the things that money can buy and the freedom of time to do what they really want. While
you may think this is an insignificant difference, it is actually the reason
so many people never become wealthy. Most of us were taught throughout our childhood that the whole point of making money is to sock it away and build our own 'nest egg'. We think of this as a type of insurance against bad fortune, accidents or old age when we can no longer work.
The wealthy know that money only works when it is in motion - not when it's sitting in a bank account. You must understand that wealth is an ongoing journey of growth and
circulation and if that circulation is stopped, then the flow of money will cease.
While it may seem that there are many roadblocks on your journey to wealth, the only real obstacle is what you believe, think, and feel about money. Most of us were raised with the cliché "Seeing is Believing" which is a skeptical and negative view of life. Still, we hear it our whole
lives until it becomes a part of our thought process without our even realizing it.
Wealthy people understand that this cliché is exactly backward - you must believe in what you can achieve before you will see it happen in your life. They know that "Believing is Seeing." The only thing that separates a millionaire from you right now is a wealthy mindset and the foundation of that mindset is belief. Does this mean that the wealthy have some special skill or knowledge? No - but they do possess some key characteristics that help them become
wealthy. The first of these characteristics is a willingness to listen to their own heart. If you could become wealthy by listening to the masses, then the masses would be wealthy and they are not.
It is a natural tendency to ask the opinions of those we love or respect. Unfortunately, we listen to their comments and biases not taking into account the results in their own lives. We make a decision to listen based on our emotional attachment rather than by looking at what they have achieved. How can anyone who has not accumulated wealth advise you on how to do it?
They can't. A second characteristic of the wealthy is the ability to act when
opportunities present themselves. Opportunity is often imagined to be
something that you can't miss or pass up. However, I know from personal experience that opportunity is often only a whisper that comes during some of the most trying times of life. If you read the life stories
of very wealthy and successful people, you will frequently find they were fired from jobs, kicked out of school or dealt with significant personal tragedies that other people would view as devastating. Instead,
they viewed the challenges as opportunities and prospered.
The wealthy also understand that wealth is an ongoing process. It is not a destination you arrive at one day and then stop. It is also rarely accomplished overnight - although it can occur in a short period of time. However, if you gain wealth before you have gained a wealthy mindset then you are in danger of losing that wealth forever. We have all heard of those that win the lottery only to be near penniless a few years later. Since they were never taught to think wealthy, they have very little chance of achieving wealth that lasts and ultimately they lose what money they have.
Those with a wealthy mindset do what they love - and make money at it. Often I see individuals who are seeking wealth like it's something outside that they have to search for. In reality, wealth exists within you. You have activities and hobbies that you love and you can make these into your business if you choose to. Those who are successful and create a great deal of wealth do so because they are doing something they love. The money follows and is just a logical result of them realizing their dream. Money is not the dream. Whether you grow up in the worst circumstance or have every
advantage, you have the exact same potential inside of you to create the life you want. No matter how many times you read or hear someone talk about how to become wealthy, your life will never change until you believe that it can - Believing is Seeing.
See you at the top!!!
THE POWER OF DECISION MAKING!!!
98% of people are in the jobs they have through INDECISION, i.e. because they never made the decision about what they wanted to do in their lives in the first place. Sadly, nearly a century later, we can say exactly the same thing. Decision is the key to transformation. Yet, most of us never learn this from our parents, from school, or indeed from anywhere else. It is one of the key character traits distinguishing high performers from the vast ranks of the mediocre. Can you DECIDE upon anything? If you can, almost anything you want in life can be yours.
If you think back in your life to some of your greatest achievements, those things you are most proud of, you will see that behind it all there was a decision you made at some point, and persisted with against all
opposition, right through to the successful conclusion. For some, it was the four tortuous years spent laboring away on their
degree, doing a subject that was so complex that after a while, all they had left was persistence and determination to see the decision they had madevthrough to its final conclusion.
Indecision explains why many people feel that they have a life purpose, but have no idea what it is. We have lost the use of the decision muscles that should normally enable us to manifest into our reality what
we decide upon, and persistently hold in our minds. Ask a child what it wants to have and you'll get a long list. Ask an adult the same question and you may well be greeted with silence. The problem is that all too often that people hunger for instant
gratification. The ability to engage in delayed gratification, i.e. working hard for a goal NOW in order to see it realized at some point in the future, seems to be a dying art. Hence our ability to make decisions and
see them through to a fruitful end has grown very weak.
For many people, the biggest decisions they ever make in a year is where to go on
vacation, how to get there, and where to stay! Sad but true. Decision is, by definition, behind every truly great achievement anyone ever makes. Most of the people who live to be a hundred actually DECIDED at some point in their life that they wished to live to a hundred. Most millionaires, at some earlier point in their life (often when
they were heavily in debt), DECIDED that they were going to be millionaires. The Buddha's enlightenment came only after he DECIDED to seek Enlightenment and persisted for six long hard years until the
achieved it. Edison DECIDED to invent an electric light bulb and persisted despite 10,000 failed attempts.
Decision coupled with Persistence is unstoppable. Napoleon Hill also commented that, in examining the lives of Thomas Edison and Henry Ford, the only quality he found in them that remotely accounted for their success, i.e. was NOT common in ordinary people, was that of Persistence.
Interestingly, the most successful people make decisions quickly and change them slowly. They persist with the decisions they have made. However, failures are very slow to make any decision at all (most never
make any), and they change the ones they have made very rapidly indeed. Which description applies to you?....
It's not about making the "right" decision in the first place, but rather about making the decision you have made "right". If you wait to make the "right" decision, you could wait forever. If you make your decisions "right", this means that you work with the decisions you have made, adapting them as necessary to the situation at hand. Yes, of course it helps to make the best decision possible in the first place. This is where excellent research and accurate thinking come into
play. You should do your best in this respect. However, you also need to set some sort of deadline or limit to this to be prevented from engaging in "paralysis through analysis". At some point, you have to DO.
Thereafter, you adapt your thinking to actual circumstances, in order to
ultimately bring about what you have decided upon. For instance, you may decide to live to be a hundred. However, you then
work with the existing health systems available to reach that goal, adapting and choosing what is available to your personal needs. You may decide to earn a certain sum of money, e.g. a million naira. From then on, you adapt your thinking to the many means available. You don't give up on the decision itself, although you may give up on a specific means of achieving it, and instead move towards another.
Flexibility in the means of obtaining the outcome of your decision is okay.
Flexibility in dumping your decisions the whole time is NOT. The Latin root of the word decision means "to cut off from all
alternatives". This is what you should do when you decide. Don't leave yourself a life-raft so that you can give up later. A famous example of this kind of decision is Hernan Cortez, in his conquest of Mexico. When
the Conquistadors first arrived in Mexico, Cortez literally DID burn their boats. There was no way back home. They could literally only go forward and conquer. That is how just a few hundred Spaniards, thousands of
miles from home, took on, and triumphed over, the power of the Aztec and Mayan Empires. Decision!
Decide, and then act as if you could not fail. Interestingly, this attitude of mind attracts to you forces from the universe that are fully capable of supporting you and bringing your decision into manifestation. If you ask a lot from life, you will receive a lot. If you ask a little, that is what you will get. Interestingly, the universe has no favorites and does not care either way how much or how little you ask for. As and you
shall receive, is the way it was once expressed. The key is to KNOW what you want, DECIDE to get it, and then PERSIST until you have done so.
See you at the top!!!
If you think back in your life to some of your greatest achievements, those things you are most proud of, you will see that behind it all there was a decision you made at some point, and persisted with against all
opposition, right through to the successful conclusion. For some, it was the four tortuous years spent laboring away on their
degree, doing a subject that was so complex that after a while, all they had left was persistence and determination to see the decision they had madevthrough to its final conclusion.
Indecision explains why many people feel that they have a life purpose, but have no idea what it is. We have lost the use of the decision muscles that should normally enable us to manifest into our reality what
we decide upon, and persistently hold in our minds. Ask a child what it wants to have and you'll get a long list. Ask an adult the same question and you may well be greeted with silence. The problem is that all too often that people hunger for instant
gratification. The ability to engage in delayed gratification, i.e. working hard for a goal NOW in order to see it realized at some point in the future, seems to be a dying art. Hence our ability to make decisions and
see them through to a fruitful end has grown very weak.
For many people, the biggest decisions they ever make in a year is where to go on
vacation, how to get there, and where to stay! Sad but true. Decision is, by definition, behind every truly great achievement anyone ever makes. Most of the people who live to be a hundred actually DECIDED at some point in their life that they wished to live to a hundred. Most millionaires, at some earlier point in their life (often when
they were heavily in debt), DECIDED that they were going to be millionaires. The Buddha's enlightenment came only after he DECIDED to seek Enlightenment and persisted for six long hard years until the
achieved it. Edison DECIDED to invent an electric light bulb and persisted despite 10,000 failed attempts.
Decision coupled with Persistence is unstoppable. Napoleon Hill also commented that, in examining the lives of Thomas Edison and Henry Ford, the only quality he found in them that remotely accounted for their success, i.e. was NOT common in ordinary people, was that of Persistence.
Interestingly, the most successful people make decisions quickly and change them slowly. They persist with the decisions they have made. However, failures are very slow to make any decision at all (most never
make any), and they change the ones they have made very rapidly indeed. Which description applies to you?....
It's not about making the "right" decision in the first place, but rather about making the decision you have made "right". If you wait to make the "right" decision, you could wait forever. If you make your decisions "right", this means that you work with the decisions you have made, adapting them as necessary to the situation at hand. Yes, of course it helps to make the best decision possible in the first place. This is where excellent research and accurate thinking come into
play. You should do your best in this respect. However, you also need to set some sort of deadline or limit to this to be prevented from engaging in "paralysis through analysis". At some point, you have to DO.
Thereafter, you adapt your thinking to actual circumstances, in order to
ultimately bring about what you have decided upon. For instance, you may decide to live to be a hundred. However, you then
work with the existing health systems available to reach that goal, adapting and choosing what is available to your personal needs. You may decide to earn a certain sum of money, e.g. a million naira. From then on, you adapt your thinking to the many means available. You don't give up on the decision itself, although you may give up on a specific means of achieving it, and instead move towards another.
Flexibility in the means of obtaining the outcome of your decision is okay.
Flexibility in dumping your decisions the whole time is NOT. The Latin root of the word decision means "to cut off from all
alternatives". This is what you should do when you decide. Don't leave yourself a life-raft so that you can give up later. A famous example of this kind of decision is Hernan Cortez, in his conquest of Mexico. When
the Conquistadors first arrived in Mexico, Cortez literally DID burn their boats. There was no way back home. They could literally only go forward and conquer. That is how just a few hundred Spaniards, thousands of
miles from home, took on, and triumphed over, the power of the Aztec and Mayan Empires. Decision!
Decide, and then act as if you could not fail. Interestingly, this attitude of mind attracts to you forces from the universe that are fully capable of supporting you and bringing your decision into manifestation. If you ask a lot from life, you will receive a lot. If you ask a little, that is what you will get. Interestingly, the universe has no favorites and does not care either way how much or how little you ask for. As and you
shall receive, is the way it was once expressed. The key is to KNOW what you want, DECIDE to get it, and then PERSIST until you have done so.
See you at the top!!!
BUSINESS : HOW TO MAKE A PRODUCT THAT SELLS ITSELF!!!
A perfect product launch needs to start with a good product. In tough, competitive times, being good isn’t enough. A product needs to be exceptional, and sell itself to surpass your competition. In order to make a product that sells itself, you need to understand certain aspects of marketing. You need to make sure your product is
perfectly suited to the needs of your customers and target audience. In this post, we’ve discussed some key considerations to
make a product that sells itself.
- Getting Over Yourself
The most important task you need to accomplish is to get over yourself, and focus on clarity of thought. For most people, this can be the hardest step of the process. Since you’re an expert, you would naturally assume that you completely understand the needs of your customers. However, this couldn’t be further from the truth. In order to develop a product that sells itself, you need to think like a consumer. It is important to understand that every customer has different needs, motivations and desires. Thus, instead of focusing on what you think is right, you need to consider what your target audience wants. This will allow you to position the product in a much better way.
- Get to Know the Buyer
When you’re an expert, you may tend to disregard a buyer’s expectations from the product. You may even want everything to be detailed, and use your vast experience and knowledge. In reality, customers don’t want to know everything about the product. They just want specific solutions to problems. If you can deliver specific
solutions, customers would continue to buy from you without any problems. Every customer wants you to speak the same language understood easily. Nobody wants to focus on technical jargon. If you’re able to address the specific needs of your customers, it won’t take long to win their trust, and start building long lasting relationships. You can use a lot of strategies and techniques to accomplish this task. However, the most effective one is to interact one-on-one. Your customers should be able to reach you easily via various social media platforms. They need to know that their feedback is valued.
- Understanding Their Needs
This is perhaps the most important part of the process. In order to make a product that sells itself, you need to understand customer needs, and make sure you completely focus on their preferences. A
product needs to be designed according to consumer interests and desires. You can’t just expect a customer to keep buying your
product if it does not suit his budget, needs and other such things. Techniques like surveys, studies and other data collection methods can help you understand what customers want from your product.
You should also take regular feedback, and make necessary modifications to the product. This will show your customers that you value their needs and preferences.
- Choosing the Right Delivery Method
In the digital age, most customers keep looking for digital downloads like PDFs. This allows them to instantly access a product. However, there are still some people who look for physical versions. As a
business owner, you need to make sure the product is available to customers via different mediums. For instance, if you publish an ebook, it should be available both PDF and paperback version. If you’re familiar with the target audience, make sure you know what a major portion of the
demographic prefers.
- Make It Look Professional
A lot of budding entrepreneurs make this common mistake. They make some sincere efforts to create a product, and when they
finally launch it, they give it a homemade feel. There’s nothing wrong in keeping your product simple. However, a small investment and some time can make it go a long way. For instance, if you’re planning to launch a PDF, you should hire a designer to get a professional looking cover. Similarly, if you’re releasing a paperback version of the book, you need to choose only high quality paper for the pages.
In addition to this, customer service plays an important role. These days, customers always choose a company which provides exceptional customer service, and values customer feedback. If you want to make a product that sells itself, you will have to make customer service an integral part of your product development and marketing
strategy.
See you at the top!!!
6 INGREDIENTS FOR A GREAT LIFE!!!
We’ve all heard the clichés about how being happy is as simple as choosing it. The truth is, being happy isn’t a choice – being happy
and leading a wonderful life is the result of a multitude of choices. It’s hard to always know whether what we’re doing is a foolproof decision, but there are certain choices that we can make every day that will guarantee a better life. “life is 10 percent what happens to you and 90 percent how you react to it.” Only you can choose the attitude you’re going to have in life, and it will ultimately determine
the course of your life.
With that in mind, here are six choices that can help you lead a happier, more positive life.
1. Choose to Be Inspired By the Success of Those Around You
It’s really hard to control the people around you, and for me,that’s one of the biggest barriers when it comes to finding peace
and contentment within myself. There are certain people who are going to try to put you down in order to build themselves up, andothers who will be just flat out mean.
This makes it tough to want the best for them, but the key is to not let the bad attitudes of others shake who you are and who you want to be.
One easy way to do this is by being the ultimate cheerleader for everyone in your life. Being jealous and competitive with those around you will only create bitterness within yourself. This pent up negativity is toxic, so for your own sake, be happy for them. Be happy for every promotion they get, date they go on, and lotterythey win. You’ll end up being happier with yourself in the end.
2. Choose to Surround Yourself with Positive People
While you can’t control the people around you, you can choose the people with whom you spend your free time. It’s a well-known
fact that emotions are contagious, yet we often forget how we are affected by the moods of others. Think of how quickly
someone’s bad mood can put a damper on a good day, or how one’s cheery and bubbly personality can brighten a bad one. Surround yourself with the people who brighten your days and make you feel
happy, and you’ll spend a lot more time enjoying life.
This goes both ways. Like choosing to be happy for others, we can also choose to make others happy, simply by being happy! So try to spread a little more cheer to your loved ones, and you’ll get the same in return. Call it a happiness cycle, if you will.
3. Choose to Let Go of the Bad
With the good always comes the bad, so having some form of disappointment in your life is inevitable. The trick is to not carry it with you everywhere you go. Disappointment can be as miniscule as
having a bad time in an exam hall or failing to arrive early for that test. We’ve all let something like this bring our moods down drastically before, but having the power to shake it off is what’s going to allow you to be happy moving forward.
Next time you’re faced with negativity, resist the urge to complain. If you can do something to fix it, do it. If you can’t change the situation, accept it for what it is and let it go.
4. Choose Balance
You have the power to choose where you give your energy. Seeking equilibrium in your life is vital to your happiness. Whether you’re spreading yourself too thin or only giving your attention to your fitness or your career or your significant other, you’re sacrificing happiness. True fulfillment comes from all of these areas of your
life, not just excelling in one.
You have to decide what’s truly important to you – what your values are – and let them guide you. Nothing can get in the way
of your happiness once you’ve chosen to follow your values.
5. Choose to Be a Doer
Anyone can talk for hours about the life they want to live, but putting action to your dreams is what will actually make you happy. Even if this means saving a penny a day, you’re going to feel more accomplished when you’re consistently doing something to reach your goals.
At the end of the day, your hesitation or self-doubt could be the only thing standing in the way of your happiness. Don’t allow that doubt to keep you from living your best; expect more out of life, and take action to achieve it.
6. Choose to Love Yourself and Your Life
Sadly, we tend to see our flaws more magnified than we see our beauty and our successes. Decide you’re going to love that snort when you laugh or the patch of freckles on your back. Be proud of
yourself for what you can do and don’t beat yourself up for what you can’t. The more you love yourself and your choices in life, the less validation you’ll crave from others.
At the end of the day, you – and only you – can choose your happiness. Never forget that you have the power to live your best
life, and by choosing these simple things, you can steer your life in a positive direction.
See you at the top!!!
Tuesday, 24 November 2015
HANDLING PROCRASTINATION THE RIGHT WAY!!!
We almost all procrastinate — let’s just get that out in the open. And it’s OK. There’s nothing wrong with that. Our brains need to rest. They simply need balance. The problem occurs when it looks like the
procrastination will never end and we never achieve our important, but complex challenges. In simple cases we can observe from a visual sign of procrastination – the cluttering. When we clutter up pieces of paper, newspapers, clothing (everywhere but not in the closet), leave dishes on the
table, etc. we often say that we’ll deal with it later. We overestimate our future ‘me’.
It brings us anxiety when the Saturday and the cleaning day is approaching. Instead of feeling free after a long week, we must deal with decluttering. But we could spend less time and less effort if we didn’t procrastinate with clutter in every corner. And this is only on the easy level. When talking about the big problems that procrastinating brings us, I’m talking about postponing the more important tasks. Like life projects, projects that will eventually deliver us a life full of excitement. Those projects are combined from tens or hundreds of complex, unknown, and often frightening tasks. And because many of them are far too big to deal with, we choose instead to postpone them.
It seems logical to deal only with minor tasks. So we gain and keep momentum. And that’s the most important step I have found so far. Starting on a mini, micro task just to warm up my brain. It could be writing down a few ideas on a piece of paper or on a sticker. Or searching for a book, or writing a post for my blog. Just start searching. In the next step I’ll collect a
few links. And in the third step I’ll read the shortest post and so on.
Momentum is the foundation.
Other steps to avoid and limit procrastination (not totally avoid,
because I’m not against boredom aka procrastination) that I use
are:
1. I need to find out what motivates me
If I want to reach a goal, let’s say finish writing an article, but I’m not motivated to sit and type for few hours a day, I have serious problems. Of course I may avoid writing and never reach this dream, but If I truly want to, then I need to find incentives that can help me. I often find this kind of obstacle when I walk through a huge
challenge. For instance I can love writing articles and love to publish them but I don’t like the promotion obligations. Well, I need to solve this, because promotion is an incredibly important part of publishing any kind of stuff.
So what can I do? I may connect with a friend and ask for help. Asking doesn’t mean I’m a loser. Asking means I will eventually get closer to a solution. Or I might talk about this problem (it could be
a fear) with other writers who have had similar problems in the past.
2. Setting goals and deadlines
I know this may sound a little stressful. My way doesn’t prefer setting goals. Rather, I do what excites me, when it excites me.
But sometimes and for some bigger challenges goals are highly recommended and helpful. Especially where the particular project is enormous and we can easily get lost in its various steps. My problem is still the deadline. It might be something in that word. However I find myself many times trying to push the deadline, mostly because many inevitable tasks appear during the project. It helps if I get some external deadlines (but the stress often increases). Deadlines are important because they put my project in motion.
3. Reward, celebrate
I love to imagine or visualize the accomplished mission, e.g. my newly
completed article on my blog or reaching 10,000 fans on any social media platform. Admittedly that may sound more like motivation than a reward. The idea is to come up with small indulgences for hitting those milestones. For instance, buying a new sofa that helps me to write more comfortable, or a fancy pen (for the time when I don’t like to type on my keyboard, but instead on plain paper). The reward
could also be a simple celebration with close friends or coworkers.
4. Have a partner
How important is this?
First, it’s easier not to work alone. That doesn’t mean you can’t create a business alone. A partner could be a virtual assistant or accountability partner. Someone you can share your obstacles with, your challenges and what’s holding you back. In the past I found myself having difficulties with partnering. What I did to correct this was nothing new. I continued doing projects on my own until I could partner with others. But how? I started to write down tasks, thoughts, the never ending ideas
which came to me. I posted it all over my place, on the table I worked at, closets, fridge, practically everywhere. My bag was always full of small paper notes. That’s
how I started. And most of the time it worked. Then one day I needed to organize as I found it difficult to follow and even more difficult to setup ideas that belong together. I started to use a notebook and fill it with hundreds of incentives that helped my projects to move forward. That’s my non-arguing partner. It says nothing, yet helps a lot.
Put the techniques above to work in your daily life and you’re sure to see procrastination dwindle and your personal productivity soar.
Guest writer from get motivation.com
See you at the top!!!
CONVERTING FAILURE INTO SUCCESS!!!
For many people, the idea of failure is simply not on their agenda. Not doing something the right way, or failing to get something right. It’s not something they can even comprehend. It’s the worst thing in the world to fail for some people. It proves they aren’t invincible, that they simply aren’t good enough to do things anymore. When this kind of mentality forms, though, changing and progressing as a person soon becomes pretty impossible.
When you cannot control your life and the things that you are inevitably going to fail at, you need to realize that this isn’t some
massive problem on your part. Everyone fails at something; the most important thing that you can do, though, is learn how to fail and actually make it count. Failure isn’t the end; it’s merely the beginning of the next attempt. Failure does not leave you as the only person without an option – it leaves you with a fresh new option. You try again; you do it all over from start to finish. Whatever the problem was along the way
— you’ll find the solution next time, or the time after.
The most important thing about failing is:
Accepting that it will happen – nobody is Perfect, and everyone will fail at something at one stage in their lives. That it will happen to you often, and that you need to get used to being analytical about failure. Finding out the reason why is far more important for your development as a person, a professional and a human being than it is to simply just accept it was bad luck or a twist of fate.
Failure occurs because we don’t know what we are doing and, more importantly, we don’t know how to learn from the mistakes we have made that caused us to fail in the first place. It’s vital to learn from your failures, and this is known as the Art of Failing. Failing in a way that allows you to become a better person, more successful or more experienced, is far better for the character than only just succeeding and never really improving or looking at how to genuinely improve at whatever it is that you do.
To get to this stage in life, though, you need to be prepared to harness the power of failure. Doing so takes a lot of hard work
and determination on your part, and will typically require you to think about the following:
What caused you to fail? Was it a lack of preparation? Not enough knowledge? Not enough time? Find out what seems to be
the common denominator in all of your failures and find out the reason why this keeps occurring.
What makes you do this in the first place? Look at the kind of mindset you have when failure occurs; did you get too nervous?
Were you following poor advice? Was it just what you thought was the best thing to do?
Look at these kinds of situations and these kinds of thoughts, and you will start to find that getting the solution that you require will no longer be the Everest that it had once seemed. When you break it all down and you see what you were failing at in the first place, and what took you into the mindset to fail in the first place, you can start to actually find the solutions that you need.
Perfecting the art of failure is all about being able to actually accept failure, and then use it as a springboard towards genuine success and improvement in the years to come. How you do this, of course, is not something that you can really think about and until you understand how you failed in the first place. Getting to this phase is the most important thing that you can do
as an individual, as it will give you all the information that you could possibly need about how to actually make failure work for you.
Nothing is better than redeeming yourself and completing a problem that you once caused – it will help you emerge a better person, more experienced and more prepared for your failures. You have a much better chance of succeeding in life if you are able to actually use these failures as springboards along your success journey – than if you just happened to get there and succeed at everything, because the time you finally fail will be far more difficult to deal with. Get used to failure, learn from it, and you can make it work for you!
See you at the top!!!
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